New week - weekly chat, 8-11-14

I'm sorry to have a laugh at Oscar's expense, but that image of him being chased by little Missy is too funny.  Poor Oscar.  I hope he isn't too traumatized and that they can resume some form of feline roommate harmony!

SIL and BIL left this morning.  To say that we are looking forward to a quiet night in an empty house is a huge understatement.  

I need to vent about my MIL.  Almost daily, she asks DH to do something because she can't do it anymore.  She can't get on the shuttle bus from her retirement community, so he brings her groceries and household items, picks up prescriptions, etc.  She can't walk to the dining room or sit upright for extended periods, so she has all her meals delivered to her apartment where she eats in bed or in her recliner.  She can't walk down the hall to do her laundry, so I do it at our house.  

The word "can't" is debatable.  Yes, she has severe arthritis and occasional dizziness and weakness, so she has to use a walker and move very slowly.  But she is capable of more than she says she is -- she just prefers people to wait on her (lots of reasons why -- much to do with her upbringing and personality).  While SIL and BIL were here, she was just fine going out for 3 restaurant meals and a WalMart visit.  Last night she walked (with her walker) quite a distance from the vehicle, to the restaurant, and back again.  She sat fine in the restaurant chair for 2 hours.  If she can do that, she can get to the dining room and/or take the shuttle one block to the grocery store, at least once in a while.  Poor DH is worn out from her daily requests.  He tries to create some boundaries to limit such tasks to every few days, but she ignores them.  She actually said this to him once:  "You're my son.  I don't feel bad asking you to do things for me." 

It makes my blood boil because my mother is the opposite.  She'd be so concerned about inconveniencing us or anyone else that she'd do whatever it took to avoid asking for help (she's a very active, independent, social senior, which my MIL has never been). Anyway, nothing much I can do but help make our household a soft place for DH to land and to take care of her bills and paperwork stuff he has no time for.  But my tongue nearly bleeds from biting it on a daily basis.  The woman can be intolerable!

Thanks for listening to my whining.  Happy Friday!

Get some outside help,  There is a lot available for the elderly.  Home health care is a great one, They do all of those things when they come in for a few hours a day or a couple days a week.

Tracy, I don't blame you for being furious about your MIL's bad behavior.  I know I'd be biting my tongue in half if I were in your shoes.  

Belle threw up or pooped yesterday while we were at work. I know it sounds weird that I couldn't tell which. It looked like diarrhea but it didn't smell like poop at all.  She threw up her breakfast earlier this week. I think it was Monday. I've got her on a bland diet to see if that settles her tummy troubles. Yesterday's accident was on the throw rug by the back door. She obviously wanted to go out but no one was home to let her out. :(  DH stepped in it . The rug is brown and the mess was brown.He didn't seem to appreciate the fact that she did her best to not make a mess in the house.  

Happy Friday to everyone. Hugs to those who need them.

I read some of this thread earlier in the week as a 'guest' so didn't post

I am so sorry to hear of the busy week at the Bridge.

Bugsy's pointer pup friend got pneumonia via aspirating his vomit and got very sick in a NY minute. He is fine now but he is lucky his mom is a veterinarian albeit an equine vet. Through her I have realized how they really do specialize, small animal stuff is clearly not her specialty.

I really wish that I was motivated by money. Work is nuts again. I often say that we make our bed and have to lie in it. In my case, I may have proved myself too capable so I am being thrown into stuff that is pretty much a disaster. I am working on my mindset to see the burden as an opportunity or challenge. Not there yet

Tracy stuff like that you describe with your MIL makes me ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dogs are our captives. I have often thought of that. Of course when you are holding Bugsy's leash you are clearly HIS captive. :)

We have had two cooler mornings and B has trotted (meaning I am running/jogging) most of the way.

The pointer pup and owner joined us at the lake last night. It is such a great getaway and the pup is at 10 mos old finally being less of a nuisance to Bugsy. B is uber tolerant of obnoxious behavior so I have asked the owner to make sure he isn't too much of a jerk however he really didn't bother B at all last night. Last week the owner brought him around along with an agility tunnel. Every time B would attempt to go through the tunnel the pup (80lbs!) would run in with B. B in his very own Bugsy way would reverse all the way out. It still makes me laugh to recall it.

DH & I are going in totally different directions work wise and we are going to have to chat about it - I hate this. He is wrapping up and I am amping up.

Tracy I love that photo and saying. I have been kind of emotional today about B. He will be 9 in two weeks and he is slowing down. It is wonderful in many ways and he allows so much more affection than he ever has but ....................well it scares me.

I recall so many people telling me when he was young and driving me completely crazy that the ones that ask so much of you dig deeper in your heart. All I can say is I have poured my heart and soul into him. And when the time comes .....................................

Missy don't be so mean to Oscar. I am kind of a human Oscar so I always feel for the milder one. I am the person that thinks it is so sad when cats bully dogs LOL

Tracy, gosh that sounds familar.  My MIL was so dependent on Mike that he lived in ME for months to keep her going.  My mother, on the other hand, took two years before she would let my sister change the sheets on her bed.  Mom started at 4'11" and has shrunk considerably, so it's hard work for her to change bedding, but she kept right on doing it.

Isn't your MIL in assisted living?  Most of those places will do the laundry for residents (again, Mom insists on doing her own).  Many pharmacies will deliver so perhaps that's an option to consider.  Funny how mothers always seem to be more demanding of their sons, while the daughters get to float......

My boss is the worlds biggest, most gigantic TURD.

For those of you who pray, and for others, perhaps good thoughts for Todd's boss.  His wife had a triple bypass several weeks ago and has complications such as severe diabetes.  She has struggled to recover, has been readmitted to the hospital twice and yesterday he had to call an ambulance because she was having trouble breathing.  I don't have details, but apparently she stopped breathing and was without oxygen for 30 minutes.  She is in a coma and not expected to recover.  Because of her health, none of us knows Judy well as she isn't able to take part in many activities.  However, Peter is a wonderful, thoughtful and very caring boss and right now he must be going through absolute hell.  Apparently the family is all enroute........so, if you can spare a prayer or good thots it would be appreciated.   She's gotta be a pretty special gal for someone like people to love her so much.

Glenda, sending loads of strong and calming vibes to Todd's boss and his wife, as well as their extended family.  If she can't recover, may her passing be as peaceful as possible.

@kpwlee

I may have proved myself too capable so I am being thrown into stuff that is pretty much a disaster.

As they say, Karen, the reward for a job well done is more work to do.  I have experienced this "reward' many times in my working life, and it's not as satisfying as a bonus or pay increase would be!

I understand feeling emotional as a beloved dog shows signs of age.  It's terrible, as you can't help but start thinking of how much time you've got left together.  And Bugsy is definitely an incredibly special dog who most certainly is deeply rooted in your heart.  Heck, I've never met him, and I feel like he's in mine!  

Thanks for the support regarding the situation with my MIL.  She SHOULD be in an assisted living place, but she refuses to move because she won't pay the extra expense.  She's in an independent retirement facility -- she has her own little apartment, and they go to a common dining room for meals.  Even before this latest downturn, she didn't go there daily because she hates the food and preferred cooking in her apartment (she fails to see how THAT is wasting the money she pays for 3 meals a day in her monthly rent, but whatever!).  

They do laundry for residents, but she doesn't like it because they use detergent or fabric softener or something she doesn't like.  We don't do her bed linens - we told her they have to do those because they remake her bed, too.  We talked about getting some home aides to come in, but again she balks at the price.  She CAN afford it, but thinks she can't -- instead she buys clothes she doesn't need from catalogues (which I end up having to ship back because it doesn't fit or she doesn't like them).  

Okay, enough of my moaning.  We enjoyed a quiet night last night, and slept in this AM without having to rush to get everyone's breakfast.  DH came down with a head cold, so he's napping now.  I'm trying to get motivated to run some errands.  Looking forward to another quiet night.

In Mom's AL facility they all have their own apts.  Common dining room, but sort of kitchens with a fridge, sink and microwave, just no stove.  And she COULD just supply her own laundry supplies and give you a break!  Sounds like she simply needs to be, well, needy!

I'm sorry, forgot to thank you for your good thots.  DH passed the hospital as he was coming home and said he saw the boss leaving and he was white as a sheet.  Poor man.

Just seeing this, Glenda.  Prayers are forthcoming for all.  

Dealing with aging parents is one of the most guilt inducing, frustrating, painful parts of life.  And when it comes to an end, all you can do is cry.

Attended my wifes' 50th  reunion.  Amazed at how many old people went to school with her.  Always nice to have the prettiest woman as your date.  I attended her school system until jr high, so I knew a lot of people there.  Great times.  The eternal cheer leader was there.  67 yrs is a little old for short shorts, but she did look good.  My wife thinks the cheerleader may have had some work done.  The "Remembering" wall has a lot more pictures now, many who I knew.

Stayed at my favorite sons house.  Sky got to play with my brothers 13 year old ESS named Breeze.  Really fun to watch the old girl dance and mouth with Sky.  Shy was of course in second heaven.  Also had two shih tzus to play with.  Denny didn't really like Sky, but Lucy seems to really get a kick out of teasing the pup.

One of my sons neighbors has a pair of Portuguese Water Dogs.  Beautiful beasties.  One was all black, the other black and white

Ugh I feel for you Tracy. I'm glad you can come here and vent. Sometimes that is all you can do. She sounds like a challenge!

A teammates dog was hit by a truck this week :( she is in CA taking care of a relative for a couple weeks and her husband was at home with the dog. Somehow the dog got loose and got killed. Such a sad thing all the way around. The dog was just about to be certified too. She put a ton of work into it. So last week was a rough one for losses. And a rough one for work stress. I went to Detroit on Fri and am biting my tongue on all the lies printed in the news and being said by various politicians. It is sooooo hard to not post something in the comments on news articles when I know they are full of lies. But I would get fired. So I bite my tongue. Hard.

@glenmar

Sounds like she simply needs to be, well, needy!

Glenda, you've hit the nail on the head.  It's a key personality trait she's always had, not just now. 

Doug, sounds like the dog "reunion" and playdates were as fun as the human reunion! So nice to hear you brag about your wife being the prettiest gal in the room!  As for the cheerleader, I've not been to any of my class reunions, but based on reports from friends who have attended, there are a couple women who seem to have had some work done -- either that, or they have unbelievably youthful genes!  

Julie, how tragic for your teammate to lose her dog like that . . . it would be bad enough to experience such an unexpected death, but for it to happen when she wasn't home would make it far worse.  And along with the "normal" heartache of losing a beloved dog, she has the added pain of remembering their hard training work together and how it was cut short just as the goal was about to be reached.  So sad.

It must be insanely frustrating to be "in the know" about major situations in the news, hearing what's being said (or read what's being written) about things when you know the real facts.  I bet that kind of thing happens a zillion times a day . . . something we should remind ourselves when we hear/read news stories about things in a community or in a company or wherever.  Only the people directly involved know the full factual situation.

Yep the news always has something wrong for whatever reason. Either someone lied or a statement taken out of context or mis-reporting in general. Every time there is a news story you have to take it with a grain of salt. Very frustrating. And yeah I bet it happens a zillions times a day.

My ex was a reporter and oh yeah!  Even CNN was a mixed bag of truth, lies and misrepresentations.  The absolute worst was in DC.