Prayers & good thots for Pa, please? (Callie)

 He's resting well (and honeslty probably it's a relief to be away from the maternal unit *sigh*) and he seems to like his doctors.  the one surprised him by agreeing with him about how much he hated the last stress test and didn't think it was accurate -- but anyway, hopefully they can get him to consent to the tests that will help.

My Dad's Dad died of CHF, as did his Mom.  But I think he was VERY surprised to find out it's NOT the death sentence he thot it was.  They've reduced the fluid significantlly.  

AND he agreed not to hassle Mom about not driving back and forth.  He's GOT to understand that if she has an accident impaired like that it could cost them everything they have.  Because she KNOWS she shouldn't drive.  and so does he

Elder care is one of the biggest challenges anyone ever faces.  My husband states it is like living with a toddler but you cant yell at them.  At any rate, prayers on the way.

In the last ten years of both long distance and in home dealing with needs of elders, a couple of things I would suggest if you can manage it.  Ask your parents to sign a medical power of attorney for you.  Granted, you can defer everything, but it allows you to contact doctors etc.  Those I have encountered have always been more receptive to answering questions or providing information if you had that.  If you can't get that, get a HIPP release of information (likely have to renew every  30 days).  I found my parents did not share major symptomology with MDs.  I could report what they had told me or give the doctor's specific areas to question so the treatment was based on more information.

Finally, due to a severe hearing impairment, we are resorting to a notebook to communicate any specific details that must be UNDERSTOOD. 

As to your mom's blindness,  REMIND THEM EVERY TIME you speak to them.  I could not believe how difficult is was to get them to remember the level of my dad's hearing impairment.  He is great socially, good eye contact, telling them he heard them (implying he understood everything).  I resorted to calling his audiologist from rehab to call and talk to the rehab team.  They were really unhappy with me after that.  Rehab was a nightmare, but this is your thread

 Sending good thoughts and Rupey nuzzles your way!

mrv

Ask your parents to sign a medical power of attorney for you.  Granted, you can defer everything, but it allows you to contact doctors etc.  Those I have encountered have always been more receptive to answering questions or providing information if you had that. 

That is a superb idea but my guess is that it's one they will pooh pooh at this point.  I might actually call a NY attorney and see what it would cost.  Right now they are both being SO secretive -- they don't WANT me to know anything.  That's part of the problem.  It's something I'd have to approach carefully ... their living will also sucks (it's beyond basic and would be virtually worthless in reality.   

Heck they lie to each other, not just to me.  *sigh*  

Thanks so much for that heads up.

 Callie - you betcha I have every good thought I got spare winging its way over to you and your family.  You were a source of enormous support for me when Dad was ill.  I only wish I could do more to help you.

Thoughts and prayers for your family comeing your way from Tenn.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's problems. I'm glad he is being seen to and I am sending my prayers for a speedy recovery. 

 He's still in the hospital but they moved him out of cardio today.  They've put him on blood thinner (Coumadin) and have gotten the fluid reduced a great deal.  My guess is they are trying to regulate the coumadin AND finish getting the fluid reduced before they release him.

Put him on a CPAP machine (he's always been a major snorer but apparently recently has had a lot of trouble sleeping -- likely partly pain caused by the fluid buildup added to breathing problems resulting) -- I've already heard some of his 'buddies' are saying "I put MINE in the garage -- didn't like the ())(*&& thing!!"

I thot JUST what he needs -- SHUT UP you morons because it just plain might help!!

My ex used one and thot it was the best thing that ever happened to him!!  Soon as he put that mask on he was ASLEEP.  So I've tried to encourage dad (in a low key way) to just give it a bit of time and let them adjust it so it's comfortable for HIM.  

At least he's back to being a bit more honest and realistic -- my dad tends to go into full blown "salesman mode" in situations like this -- at first he tried to convince me it was the greatest thing EVER and even the food was GREAT!!  *sigh* that's just SO him tho!

I just read your update.   They put Ron on CPAP 3 years ago.   It took almost 6 months to get him to wear it all night,  after that he finally realized he could sleep but at first he thought he was going to suffocate.   Now, he gets anxious when he cant use his CPAP.  During the ice storm he was almost a basket case for a week.   After a week we got our electric back and that was the first good night sleep in a week.   It will take some getting used to but he will be grateful once he does.

 Callie, my thoughts are with your dad and your family.  I hope he gets better.

 He's doing pretty well -- home and able to do some things.  A visiting nurse is helping them and they have a bp monitor hooked up to a phone line so every day he sends his BP down to the dr. office and today they called him and told him he had to have a bigger dose of cumiden to see if that will help. 

He's back using his computer which is an answer to prayer.  THAT more than anything helps ME evaluate his mental state.

They weren't able to do the heart cath ... and they're discussing various things.  A new kind of a stress test (a "nuclear stress test";) that should help them evaluate if he NEEDS the heart cath done enough to go to Erie to have it done (which will require someone to drive both of them over there).

I was just wondering today and was going to give you a call.  Glad he's better and home.  I hope they can get his bp under control and see if he has any blockage with the stress test.  Sending you good thoughts and prayers.