calliecritturs
Posted : 8/16/2008 4:48:09 PM
Once you get him home you can help expose him to things that will change his mind -- and the best thing this will do for him is allow him to leave the service without too much "mourning" the loss of being in such company.
He's still a whole person in his heart and the military is never very good at dealing with that. Do some thinking now about people, groups and things he will be able to do HERE that will be able to help educate folks here. Either to the plight of the servicemen/women who are coming home severely disabled and what they DO need to hear and do, or those skills he's learned that will help him excel HERE.
Generally companies LIKE to hire folks who have been in the service -- they know how to work, they know how to apply themselves, and they are used to taking orders and doing what's expected of them (which many folks in the workplace today just are NOT good at).
Think about the soul of THIS kid -- what's he good at. In his heart of hearts (you ARE his mother -- no one knows him better than you do) -- what can you direct him towards here that will fill the void in him.
Is he an animal person? Does he excel at training?
Is he into sports? Would he be a good Big Brother or something? If you can get him involved as soon as possible with helping OTHERS, it will minimize his own pain and it will help restore his confidence.
I know at the lowest part of *my* life, I took a class in sign language half-heartedly (long long story -- I had been beat up BADLY emotionally in a really horrible situation and it all but destroyed my life).
I had a cousin who was Helen Keller's housekeeper many years ago after Anne Sullivan passed away. As a kid I was SO proud of that -- but at that low point in my life, not only did I take that class, but I went with some others from the class visiting deaf elderly people as sort of a service thing.
One of the girls I went with discovered my wobbly 'connection' with Helen Keller, and introduced me to an elderly deaf-blind woman who lived alone (yes, she lived ALONE!). Alfide changed my life. Really -- **nothing** in MY stupid life even compared with the drive and zest for life this 90 year old woman had.
That childhood "pride" coupled with that service "obligation" (that was something I did kinda because I got prodded into it) was instrumental in setting much in motion that enabled me to survive all of that.
If you can re-direct him into something completely *opposite* from what he's been thru -- it will at least keep him busy and give him something to think about and 'do' other than feel bleak. Keep him busy if you possbly can. Idleness becomes a self-destroying disease when you've "lost" your motivation for life.
Things like that build self-esteem -- help him draw on parts of himself that he hasn't used in a while, so healing can take place (in body and heart). Just some miscellaneous thoughts.