My sister

    • Gold Top Dog

    My sister

    I wrote a while back..my sister who is not healthy lost her husband around New Years. Now she is alone with no one in house... on tons of anxiety and depression meds along with a bunch of pain medicine for a bad back, and knees.  Now her legs are swelled up and discolored...since June.  They ruled out blood clots last week, thank goodness.   Doctor mentioned  Statis (??) Dermatitis...but that sounds like a hit or miss thought.   They also found this week that she has become anemic and must be loosing blood someplace.  Sending her for a colonsocopy.   She needs some good thoughts and prayers...
    Thanks.
    • Puppy
    I feel so very bad for your dear sister, I know what it's like to be all alone and ailing. I hope that the docs have given her meds for her anxiety and depression they both can really reak havoc on your life. God bless her and give her the strength and help she needs, I will remember her in my prayers, and I will remember you also as I know it hurts and worries you to see her suffer. Lots of healing thoughts her way...[sm=angel.gif]
    • Gold Top Dog
    So sorry to hear about your sister, Dyan.  Sometimes I think people can find themselves on such a combination of meds that they just cancel each other out. Hopefully, the doctors will be able to get to the bottom of her problems.  Do you, or other family members, live close to her? I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.
     
    Joyce
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thanks guys!   My sister lives about 35 min. away from me.  
    As far as the medications...actually, on top of all of her problems...she has been on the axiety and depression meds for several years...now they are mixed with different pain pills. One of our worries is that she is addicted to most of those drugs.  And now that they are all mixing together..who knows what it is doing to her.   She is on two  pain meds,,,including OxyContin....that alone is scary much less with the other pills.  I mean every day she takes them.  When she sits down...she fall asleep. She is now afraid to drive anywhere because she falls asleep so easily.  She has for several years done that though..so I'm not sure how much the meds are doing it to her.  She has driven into ditches and hit things when she used to work as a concierge and didn't get off work until after 11 pm.    But now that the doctor found that she has become anemic...they blame the sleeping on that.  There are so many things wrong with her... and being alone has just made things worse.   She  has a daughter that lives about 10 min from her..but she is so involved in her own life that she just don't have time for her mother.    
    • Gold Top Dog
    Dyan, that's just pathetic that someone can't make time to visit their own mother two or three times a week, or at least check in on her.  I know what you mean about the meds.  My mom had parkinsons for about 20 years before she died.  Every time she called the doctor with a new symptom he just upped the dosage or added something else.  By the time my sisters and I talked her into seeing a different doctor she was on such a god-awful conglomeration of different meds that he just took her off everything - cold turkey - and then started all over. Is it possible for your sis to get a second opinion?
     
    Joyce
    • Gold Top Dog
    Yes Joyce,,,pathetic is a good word.   Unfortunately though,,my sister has a way about her...she lets you know what she expects and all...I have a feeling it has much to do with her daughter.  As far as going to a different doctor...I honestly don't know which doctor has her on which meds.  I know she is going to a pain doctor..and her family doctor.  She loves her family doctor and not her pain doctor...he replace another that she did like,,but he moved away.   Its probably her family doctor that has her on the anxiety and depression medecine.... the pain doctor has her on the pain meds..and of course there is the excedrin and the vitamines and such.........  I made her make me a list of what she is on  after her DH died..I have the lists in front of me...it has 23 things on it...thats 23 things that she takes every day.  Now since then...a few people have talked her out of taking a few things......but they are probably vitamin or holistic things.   AND a few days ago. she took her last Oxy Contin,,,my brother sent her an article about how bad it is...and that it doesn't really work that well.  
    She now says the only doctor she trusts is her family doctor.....so I don't think she will change in the near future!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Dyan, I'm sorry to hear about the issues your sister is having.  I've seen that "continual drug therapy" problem with a co-worker and a family member.  In both cases, I swear the doctors just prescribed a new drug for the latest symptom just to get the patient out of the office.  My co-worker was on so many things, it was ridiculous.  She refused to go to a new doctor -- just kept going to this old guy that just gave her more meds.  Her situation improved greatly when he retired and she HAD to see the new young doctor that took over his practice.  He had a fit when he saw her drug list, and immediately took her off several.  She then got healthy enough to have an important surgery she needed, and she was like a new person.
     
    Another friend had a similar situation with her sister who lives on the other side of the country, so my friend couldn't do anything but worry and make suggestions about new doctors, etc.  Well, as "luck" would have it, the sister's house was damaged by Hurricane Katrina, so my friend went to help with some of the clean-up/fix-up.  During her time there, my friend found a program through a pharmacy or clinic of some kind that did "medication reviews."  She convinced her sister to go see this person, and they determined several meds were unnecessary or incompatible, etc.  With some additional guidance and doctor visits, they got things changed and she improved.  She had been falling asleep involuntarily, and all the stuff like you described.
     
    I hope things improve -- I know how hard it is to watch someone deal with problems like this and you can't force them to do something about it.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thank you Tracy!
    Yes,,,I do believe you are right...everytime she has a new symptom she gets a new prescription. Not to mention all the new natural herbs and all that her DH would read about and they would start taking.
    And get this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, she went to her pain doctor a few weeks back,,,,,,,,,,she complained to him how things are not getting better...she is on so much stuff that she is falling asleep and is afraid to drive.  After a while of talking and all..he told her he would give her some pain patches...as she had asked for them instead of the Oxy Contin which she had an article about.   So after she leaves she goes to pick up the prescriptions..and they gave her about $400 worth of medication.  She was horrified that a couple of those drugs was something for depression and something to help her sleep.     She didn't pick them up (thank goodness the total bill was so high or she might have) and is just horrified that after telling him that she keeps falling asleep..he gives her something to sleep.
    Your right,,they don't know what to do so they give them pills to get them out of there.
    So she is not going to any pain doctors for a while...she is going to get her colonoscopy to see if there is somehing going on there,,or find out why she is anemic now.... and she has to wear the prescription stockings because her legs are so swelled up...so maybe that will be controlled...and then maybe we can work her off of some of the pills. Lord knows my brother and I are trying to talk her into that!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Dyan, I'm just seeing this about your sister and it sure brought back some memories of my sister.  I know what a helpless feeling it is when they're in such poor health and can't seem to figure out which issue to take care of first.  Sadly, my sister was so estranged from all of us that we didn't realize how bad things had gotten and she passed away from a drug overdose a few months ago. With all of the medical and mental health issues she had, it's possible that it was intentional, but it's also possible that the mixing of all the different meds finally took their toll on her.  I hope that your sister will listen to you and let you help her straighten all this out.  She's lucky to have you watching over her and I hope that she starts to improve soon.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thank you Cathy. I think I do remember you mentioning your sister...I believe right here in this same forum. I can't remember the details now...but I can see exactly what you are saying... with all that she is taking...and her basic attitude and moods lately....if something happened to her I would have to wonder also.   Its so scary.
    I just called her a bit ago to remind her to watch So You Think You Can Dance...we both compare notes on that show and some others like American Idol. Its something for her to look forward to..except her and her DH used to pull up TV tables and eat supper in front of these shows.     When I called her, she hadn't remembered the show was on tonight..so was happy I called. BUT she was feeling "different!"  She said all day she felt like someone else..that she was not in her own home, and wondering around trying to figure out why she feels that way.  I thought it was anxiety, I told her I had done that while driving once or twice and it caused me a near panic attack.    I told her that I had hoped soon she could get off all of her drugs..so that IF she needed something for anxiety here or there it would help her...because they are not helping her now. She said "nothing is helping, not the antidepressents..anti anxiety nor pain meds!"  Man,,,,what  a way to feel.  I told her to get herself busy making something for supper so she can sit in front of her show... and I really meant...get your mind off of yourself and how you feel..maybe you'll feel better.    Reality is, if I were by myself like that, with problems, I would be scared to death.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I think that staying connected to her and encouraging her will be the difference between my sister and yours.  I wish I could've helped mine more and had she allowed me to, I think I'd have made a difference.  Your phone calls might just be the one thing that reminds her that she's not alone and someone cares.  Who doesn't need that, right?  I know what you mean about that "how did I get here?" feeling too and just chalked it up to getting older, but man, it'll sure scare the wits out of you [:)]
    • Gold Top Dog
    Make friends with a pharmacist, preferrably at a place that does compounding (around here the family owned and operated places typically have the pharmacists who will work with you more so than the big box store places).  They are some of the best folks to work on giving you information about drug interactions etc.
     
    A medical consultant (usually an MD who now helps folks navigate the health care system) would be an option as well.  A treatment team (not sure where you can find that outside a hospital or nursing home facility).  She could possibly gain much benefit from PT which might even impact her pain management.
     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    Funny you should mention that mrv...........my sister goes to talk to the pharmacist all the time. In fact she told me sister a few weeks ago to not take another thing,,,,, I'm sure she almost ODd herself a few weeks back....they gave her a prescription pain patch and she put it on along with taking her other stuff..... she was pretty much out of it the whole day I guess....she called me about 4:30 or so,,,I had just got home from work and she called and said "guess what..I just finished my bowl of cereal from breakfast...I can't stay awake,,,I keep falling to sleep!"  She sounded drunk.  I talked her into making a pot of coffee and NOT decaf...and then into eating something...and kept calling her. Thank goodness she called the pharmacest to ask her if the pain patches could do that and she said she talked to her almost 45 min.
    Sorry to be stupid,,,but PT,,,, don't know what that is.
    • Gold Top Dog
    PT - could be physical therapy?  That often helps with pain.  I think some doctors, especially older ones, have a pretty p*ssy attitute toward women patients.  It's just "Oh, another one b*tching about something.  Let's just give her some valium or prozac so she'll shut up and get out of here."  If a man came in with even half those symptoms, I'm thinking they would leave no stone unturned  before they got to the bottom of it.
     
    Joyce
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thanks Joyce.... I do think I remember (its so hard keeping up with everything she had tried or wanted to try or didn't try) her going for physical therapy at one point, of course she complained that it made her hurt more...or that it made something else hurt.  A lot of people suggested water exercises... but honestly....for as long as I know my sister...she won't get her face or hair wet in a pool, so I think that is why she doesn't look into something like that......she is one the "them kind!"  [;)]