Dog Community

Update on the Johnsons

Posted : 9/8/2011 2:56:07 PM

They're going on home to Florida on the 22nd. Thanks to many friends, thier house is being renovated to accomodate Owen and his special needs. They obviously have very mixed emotions about returning home without Hannah and after so much has changed.

David posted this last night and it really struck a chord with me because I'm already so fear-prone. If I allow myself to spin into the "what-ifs", I can feel paralyzed and I've never been thru anything close to what they have.

Thursday, September 8, 2011 3:23 AM

So thanks to my concussion I have no memory of the accident at all. The only things I know are what people have told me... before I stick my fingers in my ears and say la-la-la-la!!! Because I could go my whole life without knowing what my family physically went through that night. I don't know the sights and sounds of that night. Thank God. I don't remember my kids crying for me. I know they did because they told me they did. I never saw our van after the accident. But somehow everytime I pass a van, I envision it smashed in where Hannah had been sleeping in her carseat. I think of Kathryn's legs pinned to the seat in front of her. I imagine Brooke's fear when she looked down at her completely broken wrist and leg. (In her words "I knew they weren't right.";) I think of Owen, who was also asleep in his carseat, literally dead when the EMT's cut him out of the car. (We originally had been told he had been ejected from the car, but the EMT's said they pulled him out, still in his carseat.) And now we are within days of going home and needing to buy a new van. I don't know how to deal with it. Who sits where? How can I load my family into a similar layout? Who will sit in the dreaded backseat where my sweet Hannah was? What is considered the 'safest' seat now? Do my girls who both remember the accident clearly have the same fears? At the hospital there is an Odyssey that is identical to our old one. I can barely make eye contact with it. I will park 2 rows further just to not be near it. I started to pull up at a stop light behind an Odyssey and turned off before I did. I just couldn't sit there and stare at the tailgate for any length of time. I know this is stupid. Odyssey's are everywhere. I should face my fears, right? But I can't. I relive that night in my head as I have pieced it together. It makes me instantly nauseous and choked up. I don't know how to get past this. I guess time. So now we are being told that Owen at 3 1/2 needs to sit rear-facing. We know we were hit from behind at a high rate of speed and then got slammed into the car in front of us. How will being rear facing change anything if, God forbid, we ever got hit again taking both a rear and front impact? How can I feel like my family is safe enough to even just go to the grocery? I cut up hot dogs so the kids never choked and covered all the outlets. I put safety locks on every cabinet and double check every window and door nightly. But how can I protect my children without staying inside all day, every day. I can't. And I know that life is all about taking risks. I just never thought sitting at a stoplight would fall under the 'risk' category. I want to live a full, adventurous life. I want to give my kids all sorts of new experiences. I want to travel with my family like we always have. So I pray that He will take the fear away and replace it with innocent excitement. I pray all the time that God will give me peace to enjoy the rest of my life with my family.

shadowsgin

Posted : 9/8/2011 4:09:41 PM

Wow, Cathy, I know when Ron broke his neck in his accident I couldn't go down the road he was on for several years. I wasnt even there and I would avoid traveling on that road. I can not imagine how Mr. Johnson is feeling right now. I am happy; however, to hear that they are going to go home soon and even tho life has changed forever for this family I pray that they can settle back in to their community and learn to live again.

PawMaid

Posted : 9/8/2011 8:21:37 PM

I wish I was one of those withgreat words of wisdom, But alas Iam not. All I can do is pray for them and that each day gets a little better until they are living with innocent excitement again or at least the comfortable confines of family.

JackieG

Posted : 9/9/2011 5:34:26 PM

I'll keep them in my prayers. I hope they're all getting some counseling to help them through this. I just can't imagine. Broken Heart

FrisbyPI

Posted : 9/9/2011 7:44:26 PM

I am amazed at the unbelievable gift they're giving by being so willing to share what they are going through. I continue to keep them all in my prayers and I wear pink to every yoga class in Hannah's memory. How are the girls doing? When is the baby due?

cakana

Posted : 9/11/2011 3:44:15 PM

FrisbyPI

I am amazed at the unbelievable gift they're giving by being so willing to share what they are going through. I continue to keep them all in my prayers and I wear pink to every yoga class in Hannah's memory. How are the girls doing? When is the baby due?

I believe the baby is due in early November. It's a girl and they're naming her Renee, which was Hannah's middle name.

This weekend was Kathryn's birthday, so my friend's daughter and family drove to Atlanta to celebrate with them. They will all be home Sept 22nd and that's when I think it will get better in some ways and worse in other ways for all of them. They've had a steady stream of family and other visitors since the accident. They almost haven't had the opportunity to be alone and grieve. Going back to all that's familiar but with all the changes will bring on a whole new set of emotions. Fortunately, I think the tremendous support will continue and in that way, they've been blessed greatly.

cakana

Posted : 9/12/2011 1:32:13 PM

This is my best friend's grandson, Dominic, visiting with Owen this past weekend. They're both the same age and BFFs.

shadowsgin

Posted : 9/12/2011 1:49:40 PM

All I can say is "Awwwwwww"

tacran

Posted : 9/15/2011 1:43:09 PM

Cathy, I always read your posts about the Johnsons, but I haven't written any replies because I can't think of anything to say that matches the level of emotion and everything else I feel when I read the updates and excerpts you include from the parents. I just don't understand why such a terrible tragedy had to happen to such an obviously loving and inspirational family. The way they exhibit such grace . . . . it's just amazing.

But I had to write something after looking at that photo. I hope those boys remain best friends truly forever. I don't know anything about child development, but it would seem that because they're so young, they will continue to feel joy in each other's presence, which is a wonderful thing for both of them. I imagine Dominic will have some confusion about why Owen can't do some things anymore or why he has all this strange equipment around him, but I would think that because he's so young, he won't be judgmental or afraid or uncomfortable (like adults may be), especially if they can see each other often, right from the start. They can still provide friendship to each other, even if they have to adapt to some different ways they'll interact or play.

When I was in high school, a classmate had a diving accident and became a parapalegic. He was smart, well-liked, and a talented soccer player. Immediately after the accident, a small group of his closest friends surrounded him (he also had a very supportive family) through his recovery and rehab. When he came back to school, they were his posse -- helping him at school (and out of school), driving him everywhere, bringing him to games, lifting him and his wheelchair, etc. This continued right through college - some of them going to the same university. My mother will occasionally see him or his friends (or family members) at gatherings around my hometown, and to this day, he has those friends in his life. I know Owen is too young to have developed a deep friendship yet, but knowing his favorite buddy is still by his side and holding his hand must bring him great comfort, even if he can't yet understand why.

It's an incredibly sweet photo -- maybe I'm over-analyzing it, but that's how it made me feel!

cakana

Posted : 9/15/2011 2:13:48 PM

Tracy - I don't think you over-analyzed it at all and I agree with everything you said. My friend told me that while they were visiting, Dominic was very protective of Owen Angel

. The Johnsons will be home next week and Dominic will be able to see a lot more of his buddy then.

FrisbyPI

Posted : 9/15/2011 3:44:21 PM

I love the photo, too, and I agree. Dominic can/will be an important person in Owen's life and vice versa.

calliecritturs

Posted : 9/18/2011 6:44:50 PM

There was an article in Florida Today on the Johnsons so I'm gonna cut and paste it here. It's WONDERFUL how co-workers all pooled their sick/vacation time to GIVE to him so he wouldn't lose his job

Article

Boxermom2Marley

Posted : 9/19/2011 11:20:41 AM

calliecritturs

There was an article in Florida Today on the Johnsons so I'm gonna cut and paste it here. It's WONDERFUL how co-workers all pooled their sick/vacation time to GIVE to him so he wouldn't lose his job

Article

That IS wonderful! I love it when people come together. Restores my faith!

calliecritturs

Posted : 9/19/2011 2:08:34 PM

tacran
I imagine Dominic will have some confusion about why Owen can't do some things anymore or why he has all this strange equipment around him, but I would think that because he's so young, he won't be judgmental or afraid or uncomfortable (like adults may be), especially if they can see each other often, right from the start. They can still provide friendship to each other, even if they have to adapt to some different ways they'll interact or play.

You haven't over-analyzed -- you've been sensitive. And you are absolutely correct, Tracy.

It is **very** likely that this will influence ALL these kids' friends in ways people can't even begin to imagine.

Growing up my best friend had Frederich's Ataxia (which is sort of a congentical form of multiple sclerosis). It began with me walking her home from school (she lived further than I did but she needed *help* walking and carrying anything). Back then there was no "ADA" -- there were no handicapped restrooms, nor doorways nor ramps nor elevators. Debbie's Mom was always tired just trying to cope with a "normal" teenager and a handicapped child.

I grew up ***knowing*** I wanted to teach handicapped children. But essentially everything I've done as an adult has much of its root in what I learned and dealt with with Deb. Because I saw what she went thru and I wanted to make it different for her. Even the sick dog rescue I do - it all has it's roots in that. Sometimes I think people misunderstand me thinking I want attention and nothing could be further from the truth. It all has to do with helping right a wrong or help a difficulty or to make something possible that seems impossible. (Because gosh darn it as a kid you think that if you just try HARD enough you can make it different!)

Some of these kids friends will go into medciine -- or they will go into social work (to help trauma victims) -- or they will go into law enforcement -- or they'll do SOMETHING that touches what they've seen their frends have to survive.

It may not show on the outside but it will change so many many people in the inside.

It's one of the very wonderful things about us human beings -- we tend to be at our best when things are at their worst.

cakana

Posted : 9/19/2011 3:10:51 PM

Thanks for sharing the article Callie. Susie posted this today and I thought it was funny and touching -

Monday, September 19, 2011 3:00 AM

This morning was the day I knew would come but that I have been dreading. This morning I was not strong. This morning my body felt weak. This morning I could barely manage to get out of bed. I woke up and grabbed my phone and the first thing I saw was a link to an article about my family. It had a picture of our house. It had details about the inside. A flood of emotions went through me. At first I felt scared. Scared of what the article would say. Then I was proud. Proud of my community and how hard they have worked to make our homecoming as smooth as possible. Then I felt excited. Excited to go home and see our "new" house and try to get back to "normal". But the emotion I had the most was sadness. I try to remember how I left the house before we went on what we thought would be a 10 day vacation. I'm sure I left clothes in the dryer. Hopefully I finished the dishes. I'm sure the rooms all looked like a tornado hit during the packing. Then I think harder. I know there were pictures hung on the refrigerator that the kids made. I know my dry erase calendar showed the daily events for June-swim meets, end of year sports parties, birthdays, and appointments. I am sure my bedside table has little drawings and "I love you mommy" notes that Hannah left for me daily in the drawers. The grout in my bathroom had stains from where Hannah dropped a whole bottle of nail polish and tried to clean it up herself. (It didn't come out all the way. I will see it everyday now and be glad it wouldn't.) And Owen's carpet had stains from where he drew a picture with the girls nail polishes. (I was so mad! I yelled at him and scrubbed for an hour. And now I'll treasure my little boys "work of art".) I know that going home will bring up the same emotions as the article- excitement to sadness. Being in Atlanta has been like a break from the reality of our situation. even leaving Chattanooga some how helped. I would never pass the room where David had to tell me that Hannah didn't make it. I wouldn't walk into the PICU where we had to tell the girls that their sister was in heaven. I wouldn't see the couch where a team of doctors told us that Owen's spinal cord injury was "a complete transection and will be a quadriplegic." Atlanta has only memories of recovery and hope. But home is reality. There will be no team of nurses, doctors, and therapists outside our door. There will be reminders of the way things were everywhere. Thinking about this made me shake. David and I are ready to handle Owen's medical needs. But what about the emotional rollercoaster? Will we be able to deal with the kids emotions while trying to handle our own? Thinking about Thursday is completely debilitating. As I laid in bed this morning I said out loud, "fight or flight?" And hearing those words made me laugh through my tears. Flight? That's not even an option! But I thought ok let's try "flight". So i covered my head with the blanket and thought "I'm not gonna get up today." Then maybe a minute and a half later the baby started moving and stretching and then I had to pee. Oh well. I attempted flight, but it wasn't gonna work out. So I threw my legs over the side of the bed and said "ok time to fight then." So I got up and got moving. Gave Kathryn a kiss. Chatted with my mom. Guzzled some coffee, ate some food and headed to the hospital. Owen was grumpy so I got right down to business trying to distract him, comfort him, and entertain him. I shared a moment of eye contact with David, we smiled, and I finally exhaled. Fighting was the better of the two options. I spoke to another mother on the rehab floor. We discussed the normal things that parents of the kids on the floor discuss- meds, doctors, discharge dates, etc. Then we talked about the hard days. The days where the kids barely smile all day and they cry in pain all night. She said, "People tell me all of the time how brave I am and how strong I am. But I don't have a choice. I don't have any other options but to push ahead. I guess I could stay in bed all day, cover my head and cry." I told her, "Yeah, but eventually, you're gonna have to get up to go pee." She laughed and said "Yep, life goes on."