Susan needs our good thoughts

 Another update... he's now decided to go off his meds, since he's not bipolar anyway.. and he wants to join the marines..

here we go again...

Uh oh.  I wish there was something I could do for you or something I could say that would help.  I'm thinking of you.  (((hugs)))

(((hugs)))

I can't come up with anything to say except ((HUGE HUGS))

 You must be so stressed out by this. Especially since there's not much you can do. *hugs*

So sorry you have to go through all of this.  Living with "adult" children is never easy even if there aren't the issues you have.  My thoughts are with you.

Deb W.

Susan, I'm sorry this isn't getting any better.  If it helps, the Marine Corps will likely look at his medical records and refuse to allow him to enlist due to the recent hospital stay.

As a parent, I know it is hard to stick to your guns when he is obviously manipulating everything.  Please know this is the disorder affecting him.  Perhaps, instead of a relative, if he can get a referral from community mental health, he can live in some sort of assisted living.  Also, please note that he can apply for disability and get help that way.

Again, my email or phone is available any time.

sharismom

Susan, I'm sorry this isn't getting any better.  If it helps, the Marine Corps will likely look at his medical records and refuse to allow him to enlist due to the recent hospital stay.

I'm sorry too and I agree with Tina about the enlistment idea. I worked for Air Force recruiting for a few years and I know that issues like your son has had are deal breakers.  We had to jump thru a lot of hoops just to enlist people who'd been thru marriage counseling. I hope your son comes to realize that he does need help. This must be so hard for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

sharismom

Susan, I'm sorry this isn't getting any better.  If it helps, the Marine Corps will likely look at his medical records and refuse to allow him to enlist due to the recent hospital stay.

I did mention this to him. He openly admitted if the psych testing is no longer then 3 hours, then he can pass no problem. He refuses to believe he has bipolar disorder. Supposedly his current therapist is on board with him going off the meds and will monitor. Supposedly his current therapist agrees he just went through a traumatic experience and had a minor breakdown. He's 21 so I'm sure his doctor won't talk to me...

Disability and all that aren't even an option until or unless he agrees that he has a problem. There is still that small part of me that wonders if the diagnosis is correct or what.

If worst comes to worst, you can file with the court to have a guardian appointed to oversee his care.  I have not done this, but I know someone who has for an adult child with schizophrenia and it has helped.  In that situation, the guardian is not a relative.

This is so hard on you, I know.  ((((Susan))))

3girls

sharismom

Susan, I'm sorry this isn't getting any better.  If it helps, the Marine Corps will likely look at his medical records and refuse to allow him to enlist due to the recent hospital stay.

I did mention this to him. He openly admitted if the psych testing is no longer then 3 hours, then he can pass no problem.

We know he's looking for structure, looking for something to look forward to, and obviously looking for an escape.  The military isn't a bad idea in general, but in his circumstances, seems pretty unlikely.  Which means he has to find something else to give himself structure, something to look forward to, and decide if escape is really his best option.  Here's where you have to hope he doesn't have friends who encourage drug-use escapism.

Did he go to college?  Could he choose college instead of Marines?

Unfortunately, I think that the problem is less about what he does or says, and more about your inability to lose "control" over him because you want so badly to fix things, fix him, have him not hurt...  It's hard to have an adult child with these issues, but realize that you didn't do it, you can't change it, and the best thing is probably to love him as much as he'll allow, but not try to run things, and not enable any fantasies.  It won't work anyway:-((

Good point, Anne.

Paige, he doesn't need to be eligible for life insurance to be in the military.  They don't provide life insurance, but a member has the option to purchase a policy at greatly reduced rates to cover the burial and help family financially if something happens.

If he is indeed suffering from bi-polar disorder and is rapidly cycling, he would definitely be a tremendous liability to himself as well as others.

Unfortunately, drug and alcohol abuse is very common for people with bi-polar disorder. 

Gosh.  Just gosh.  All I can say is if you want to talk......

((((HUGS))))

3girls

There is still that small part of me that wonders if the diagnosis is correct or what.

I'm sure I'd be wondering too. If the diagnosis was correct, you'll know soon enough though. Even if it was incorrect, he didn't handle stress well recently. I'm pretty sure that basic training would push him to the edge pretty quickly. Either way, I don't think you need to worry about the military right now.