DPU
Posted : 7/13/2008 9:58:14 AM
Cassidys Mom
I posted a response to this in the NILIF thread, but since you made the same suggestion to read that chapter in this thread also, I'll post a response here too - I reread the chapter, (which is entitled "What I Really Meant to Say Was....", for people who don't have the book handy), and it's not about dishing out affection at all. It's about sending clear and consistent messages to dogs, particularly in circumstances where we're trying to get a dog to stop doing something, but our body language and voice are signaling an invitation to play. No wonder they're confused!
I bolded part of your post, because I agree with it, and so does Suzanne, but not the way you meant it. In this chapter, she instructs an owner to shut down and disengage from her dog if he's behaving badly, and to use attention and praise to reward good behavior. So she's actually advocating removal of attention as a way to train the dog - to show him what works to get him what he wants, and what doesn't.
And then in the next two chapters she talks about leadership in a way that's very pertinent to this discussion.
I did not re-read it because I got a very important lesson about that chapter that I often use and I don't want to be influenced. I have my own view of what relationship and affection mean. It is clean/clear dog to human communication. Mono on Mono with nothing in between like food, toys, or introducing NP by ignoring and taking attention away. In that chapter I contrasted the dog owners approach with SC. The dog owner did praise for good behavior, gave her signals to correct inappropiate behavior, shoved, pushed, did a collar hold, etc and all that did not work. What SC did was introduce a new word and work on increasing the dog's and human's vocabulary in contents of free choice and normal day to day living. She introduced as the new word a body language, a raised eyebrow, a surprised look, and a soft gasp, a normal human reaction. The dog recognized this as a new communication and then both proceeded to build a sentence. Yes, build a sentence.....SC gives a normal human surprised look, the dog gives attention to that look, SC relies on other learned words to bridge the meaning of the day to day human reaction. The new word taught between the two then can be generalized. I did not see in SC's action a shut down, disengage, removal of attention, etc. To me, those phrases creates a certain mind set in the human and to me once again, that introduces an element of force. Sometimes force is necessary in some dogs but that would be dependent on the dog and what is happening.
Here is a segment of what I do without getting into my whole dog philosphy which as I said is evolving. At the highest level I want to satisfy the dog's needs first and I want to continually build a relationship based on affection. The dog wants my attention and is creating behavior in a way that shows me the dog WANTS it and probably has worked that way in the past to get it. There is one assumption that I always make. If the dog had to create unacceptable behavior that tells me the dog was deprived and the quantity of the WANT was not enough for the dog but the dog settles for it. So when the urge for the WANT comes around again, the dog will continue doing what it has learned from humans.
So if a dog wants my attention and does unacceptable behavior ( as defined here) because the dog has learned that is how to get it, I fulfill that need and give it and I have a look of puzzlement as to why the dog would offer that behavior when I know the dog is going to get it....but the dog does not know this. So I work on relationship building, trust and giving affection. I pet the dog satisfying the dog's want. I introduce a change in petting by doing a few pats on the head. This is where I introduce day to day living. After the few pats I say "hold on I got to get a swig of my pop". After that I continue the petting. Then I pat the head a few times and say "hold on, I got to change the channel on the tv". and then I continue the petting. These interruptions are very short term in the beginning and are gradually extended. The dog comes to me cause the dog wants attention, I give it and then do a few pats and then say "I got to go to the bathroom". All of these interruption are things I do in day to day living and the dog see these things all the time and not only in the contents of satifying a WANT. The dogs learns and I learn and the need is still there but the urgency of getting it has changed. The dog's behavior has switched from Anticipation to Expectation (a sure thing). I always want to the dog to know that if the dog comes to me it will always be a positive experience. This is so important and translates in other situations like teaching the dog the very important COME command.
I think this is a very different approach and it all has to do with human's mindset. If one can pretend a dog can read the human mind, why have the rigid thinking of behavior presented requires either a positive human response or a negative human response to control that behavior. The approach of giving the dog what it really wants and then subsequently controlling the urgency is my preferred method. Humans want to live peaceably with dogs and dogs want to do the same. That can only happen when language is bridged and to me when the humans set boundaries and a one sided limit, that creates a conflict and takes away from the relationship.