How to Build Trust with Your Dog

Just off the top of my head....

A predictable routine is I think really key. Everything happens the same way at the same time every day. Dogs love routine and pick it up pretty quick. They may not be able to tell time, but they can get the hang of it through all the various other environmental cues. I'm just flabbergasted that both of my dogs--both ridiculous food-obsessed chow hounds, especially Marlowe--have picked up on the fact that when I'm playing with their food bin and Kongs/Jacks at night, it does not mean anyone is getting fed. I'm preparing their breakfast toys for the next day. Around other times of day, if I so much as bump the food bin or pick up a Kong, they both materialize at my feet instantly, drooling.  But I brought the whole bin in to the den last night, where both were chilling, to fill their toys while I watched TV and neither even moved. They didn't even look to see whether they might get something. They know, it's night time, they've already had their dinner, this food is not in any way for them right now. I even left the room with the toys already stuffed and on the futon and the food bin open on the floor and neither made a move.

Rewards-based training. Working towards a goal together in a way that is fun and positive for both dog and handler is a great way to build a partnership and a bond.

Consistent and predictable cues. I think this may be part of routine, but if you use the same language to predict the various movements and changes happening in a dog's day to day life, they won't be surprised by anything. More than just command cues, cues for when it's time for dinner (Who wants to EAT?) or time to go out to potty (Who needs to go OUT?) or time for bed (Okay, time for night night!), or to kennel up, or when you're about to leave the house, and when you come home. Everything has it's unique predictor so the dog has a second to adjust and process the information and respond. I've noticed that especially with some breeds and individuals, they don't process new information as fast as some others. It can take a second for the dog to think things through and make decisions or respond to cues. Marlowe is a great little sitter for me but he's just....slower than Conrad. I can see his wheels turning, he's not blowing me off, he just has to think for a split-second longer than his brother.
 

consistency is, I think, the most important aspect of dog management. Humans understand grammar, generalizability, and context, but dogs don't. Dogs would prefer someone who was brutal but 100% consistent over someone who was sweet but couldn't get her body language under control or couldn't decide when the dog was allowed to get on the couch and when the dog wasn't allowed on the couch.

Cita

So how do you increase a dog's self-confidence and feelings of safety and security

I do it by being a good, strong, reliable, calm leader; by setting up a structure that he can depend on. Good exercise, discipline, clear expectations, definitely consistency and most importantly, by being someone he can trust by ALWAYS being 100% honest with him. I never cheat, never 'trick', never "try to make him think" something that isn't true.

 Predictability, routine, and consistency are definitely key, but what about more sort of "pro-active" things to build confidence? Is there anything like the doggy equivalent of falling backwards into your teammates' waiting hands? :-p

FourIsCompany

Cita

So how do you increase a dog's self-confidence and feelings of safety and security

 

I do it by being a good, strong, reliable, calm leader; by setting up a structure that he can depend on. Good exercise, discipline, clear expectations, definitely consistency and most importantly, by being someone he can trust by ALWAYS being 100% honest with him. I never cheat, never 'trick', never "try to make him think" something that isn't true.

Good post.....also, being even tempered, not being too loud, moving fast and startling the dog....all in all a calm environment...

Has Rascal been to Obedience Training? 

Cita

So how do you increase a dog's self-confidence and feelings of safety and security, particularly with regard to the humans in his life?

For me and from my observations, the best way to do this is for the dog to be around dogs that have confidence and their needs for safety and security are satisfied.  With regard to me, I stay aloff from my pack but always watching.  I make sure they do everything together and always make it a social event for eating, outside time, inside time, sleeping, etc.  When they have need for me, they let me know and mostly its for affection.  From the outskirts, their environment is managed with order and time schedules,   Food is only given at meal time and snack time, meant to satisfy their low level hunger need and almost never associate with the relationship building.  With this arrangement, fosters with behavior problems quickly get in sync with the pack and sometimes their reported problem behavior disappears.

FourIsCompany

Has Rascal been to Obedience Training? 

He's not been to a formal class with me, but we have worked with a trainer. He's really great 95% of the time, but sometimes when I approach him (say, when he's lying down somewhere) he gives me super submissive body signals and looks like he's "cringing," expecting me to do something mean to him. It's the strangest thing. We've done all positive training, NILIF up the wazoo, counter-conditioning to tons of things, and when he's nervous he looks to me for comfort (like at the vet's office he pressssses up against me during the exam)... we've made some amazing progress, considering a year ago he didn't want anything to do with me, but he still has this sort of residual suspicion towards me (well, towards people in general really) that surfaces every now and then.

I guess I'm hoping there's an answer better than "years of kindness and consistency" that will help him with his issues a little more quickly. He makes me feel like I'm terrible and abusive sometimes, the little stinker! It's a terrible feeling to reach out to pet your dog and have him recoil from your hand as if you were in the habit of punishing him (which I'm not at all)!

Edit: DPU, that's a great idea. That would go a long way towards explaining why Rascal is so much more calm around strangers after he's spent some time at his doggy daycare!! I assumed it was just that the handlers were kind and professionals, but I'm sure the other friendly dogs had a lot to do with it, too!!! 

With Kenya...

1.  Routine.  I think this is #1.  Her days are predictable, even to her.

2.  Reverse NILIF, lol.  She gets to sit on the couch with me anytime she wants.  I will stroke her head and talk to her.  I give her treats randomly for no reason at all.

3.  Classes, classes, and more classes.  We are now on our third and fourth class since August and I have another scheduled for January.  It doesn't matter whether we even compete in the things we are training for.  The classes are more about socialization and exposing her to other people and dogs in controlled environments (meaning, the training class where an experience trainer is working with four dogs she knows personally as opposed to off leash chaos at the dog park or a Saturday morning at PetSmart).  Kenya is also attending Coke's classes.  She sits in her crate or lays on the floor. 

It will be a long road for us as well.  She snapped at Phil's dad last week.  I know how to manage what makes her uncomfortable, but at the same time I wonder if it's fair to her to only manage and never deal with the issue.  I'm trying to deal with her stress rather than have to avoid it her entire life.  I would like to be able to trust my dog, lol.
 

This might sound silly but one thing that really, really broke the ice with Willow was me playing with her.  Rough house stuff like tug or play wrestling stuff like that. 

And, I always act super happy whenever she comes over to me.  "Hi, Willow pillow. . ." and she wags and wags. 

Cita, I don't know if I missed it, but did you get him as a pup or did you adopt him as an adult.......the recoiling when you try to touch him at times is alarming....

As an adult, a year ago. I don't think he was ever intentionally abused - I think the "no petting" thing comes from him tending to over-exert himself and strain his muscles and then associating the resulting sensitivity to touch with general pain when petting. That's just my theory, I have nothing to go on other than the vet finding him to be sore in his back at one checkup last year. I also think the "big scary person" body language plays a huge role, since he's so tiny. I do what I can, but there's only so much you can do with a size difference that large.

The classes are a great idea - I'm hoping to get Rascal into classes in January, and am really hoping to drag the BF along too. I totally know what you mean about wanting to trust the dog. Little by little!

Oh, and playing helps a TON. I think it's what finally won me over to him. Nothing quite gets him going like a rousing game of "chase me because I have the squeaky and you don't"! lol! 

mudpuppy

consistency is, I think, the most important aspect of dog management. Humans understand grammar, generalizability, and context, but dogs don't. Dogs would prefer someone who was brutal but 100% consistent over someone who was sweet but couldn't get her body language under control or couldn't decide when the dog was allowed to get on the couch and when the dog wasn't allowed on the couch.

And this, right here, is how my husband causes so much trouble with the dogs. They do love him, and he them, but just his presence in the room pretty much sends all of their training backwards by 30%, even if he's just standing there doing nothing. He's totally inconsistent with them, makes up arbitrary rules but then does not follow through, encourages them to roughhouse but then they overwhelm him and he gets mad and tells them to go away, he uses weird cues they don't know (or pairs a hand signal they do know with a verbal cue they don't know) and corrupts cues they do know by rewarding them for doing it wrong (I had to come up with a whole new nose-targeting cue and gesture because the old one got turned in to "stand on your hind legs and dance around!";), he has no idea what his behavior criteria are for them and just makes things up minute by minute with no goal and no limits. Chaos reigns when he tries to work with them, even when he is technically doing the "right things" because they just do not know whether to poop or wind their watches when he's around.  They're not scared of him at all, because he really mostly just screws up by loving on them in various unhelpful ways, but when they're out causing trouble in the back yard, DH yells for me to call for them because whatever he attempts is usually totally ineffective.

Cita

Edit: DPU, that's a great idea. That would go a long way towards explaining why Rascal is so much more calm around strangers after he's spent some time at his doggy daycare!! I assumed it was just that the handlers were kind and professionals, but I'm sure the other friendly dogs had a lot to do with it, too!!! 

It also works the other way too, depending on how strong and stable the group is.  When my foster hound with SA first destroyed his kennel in a panic episode, the foster dog in the next kennel joined the frenzy and destroy her kennel.  Prior to that, the dog next kept her kennel in perfect order.