"Aggressive" "Reactive" -- Either way, this book looks good...

Times when she's really upset at the window (bikers and such), I will tap her on the back lightly and she'll snap out of it, but she won't "hear" me really.

 
And that's one of your measuring sticks, right? You will dance the day she can "hear" you and respond. She is still getting caught up in a lot of her phobias, and the more she learns "watch me" and "leave it" the more she'll be responding to you.
 
I train during the "safe" times for that and after quite a LONG time of training like that, I am totally seeing the results and that's exciting.
 
I have a much more reliable dog. I know we all worry a lot about leadership, etc., but the main issue I had when I first brought home my buddy dog was reliability. I figured that if I could work on that, then leadership became a by-product.
 
And it worked and is working and my dog is soo much more reliable than I thought he could ever be.
 
Keep at it--you'll find your way.