What should I do when she growls??

Dyan--I would see what Anne has to say about this behavior.  I'm concerned, what your describing would scare me.  I don't exactly know how to handle it and it's not something you want to guess as considering Bubby is big and also Great Danes can be difficult just like Chows.
 
Anne, do you have any advice??  What should she do when Bubby growls at the sound of her husband coming up the stairs?  That's so threatening to me.

I'm not sure we can call it a growl,,,,she does get stiff and nervous,,,then jumps up and gets in front of him,,if its a growl,,its not a lingering growl,,,more of a kind of cry or so.  Often she grabs a toy and runs by me and actually goes to the other side of me where she is between me and the wall,,something that I sure don't understand. I can't believe she is afraid of DH,,she loves him and lets him do just about anything to her.    But yet I don't understand this at all.
You know Lori,,THIS might be stupid but we're really not afraid of her at all.  She is a big dog, but she can be pushed easily if needed. Of course if she were to really get mean it would be a different story I guess. 

No, I know what you mean, I'm not afraid of Willow at all either.  I was at one time, but not anymore.  For us, as soon as she knows she's got you afraid she'll really take advantage.  That's what she does with my husband I think.  She knows if she growls just even slightly he's gonna back off.   Of course, who can blame him.  But, sometimes it's all a big catch 22.  You don't want them to growl because growling is bad yet it's also good because then they are warning.  But, also you don't want to get bit so you back off when they do growl, which gives them the impression they can get their way by growling. . .ARGGGG!!!
 
Anyway, I hope someone who would know sees this about Bubby.  It does seem like she's afraid.  Maybe she's just afraid at first, like she doesn't realize it's him and then once she does it's OK.  Willow does that sometimes with people coming up the stairs to our apartment.  She'll growl and then once she realizes who it is, she starts wagging her tail. 

But, if they do, I want people to look for the cause and remedy it, so there's no reason for the dog to feel anxious or afraid

ORIGINAL: spiritdogs.

This is exactly my point.  We work very hard at remeding all those feeling in our home so that he does not feel the need to show aggession in any form.

And what I meant by intentional:

Do I crate him when there are visiting children, yes
Do I crate him when there is too much company, yes
Do I watch over him and supervise all interaction with my kids, yes
Do I leave him unattended with children, never. 

It depends on the dog.  For Willow, there is no reason for her to be anxious or afraid,  but in her mind (because of her past) sometimes there is.   It's not something that I can just remedy.  It needs to be controlled.

For Bubby,,,its guys...period.     But again, she is with DH all day, she loves him, she leans on him and sits on him,,,,comes for hugs from him.  Why doesn't she want him upstairs by computer room is probably because I am in it....so maybe she does not want him by me. On the other hand, we sleep in the same bed, and she sleeps at the foot of the bed on the floor,,,she has no problem with that.
I know she is afraid of guys,, my son lives on the next street, we walk by his house every day.  Bubby looks for him, if he is out she pulls me to him. Even if we are across the street she looks for him and wants to go there...so what does she do when we get across to talk to him???? She backs off...he has to come to her,,because she is afraid.   So why want to go to him??  Will I ever understand this dog???

he has to come to her,,because she is afraid. So why want to go to him?? Will I ever understand this dog???

 
I think this is actually common in fearful dogs.  Sassy will do the same thing with just about everyone.  She'll want to go forward and greet them, but if they start moving towards her, especially if they move quickly, she immediately becomes fearful and backs up.  Thankfully - most people we encounter recognize it and go slowly or let her come to them and then she's fine.

Dyan- rewind to that "Bubby pushes them with her nose" thing.   HoneyBear has done that to me since the first day I brought her home from the Humane Society.  Actually, it was the FIRST thing she did to me when we got out of the car and got into the house.  She was alone with me in the kitchen, after husband had left the room and BANG - she bashed me with the nose.
Now, four months later, the only time she does it is after a training session.  When we are all done and putting away the leash and the treats, BANG -she gives me a shot with the big nose.
I've figured out, (maybe I'm wrong, but...) that she wants to show me "who is the boss" before we call it a day.  I think that nose behaviour indicates dominance.
And, (once again, maybe I'm wrong) but I think Bubby LOVES the time alone with you in the computer room and does not want any intruders. ( Even though she loves the intruder.)
And I was laughing today to see that "Bubby" is short for "Bubblegum".
How darned cute is that?

Ooops.  Sorry about the above photo.  Too large!

No Trilby, the picture is JUST RIGHT!!!
Your statements about "nosing" us is exactly the way I feel about Bubby.  You see I got her (from her breeder) when she was over 3 yrs old..pretty much set in her ways. I asked her breeder if she did it to her and she said "all the time and would put her in a bedroom for a time out if she did it too much!"  Guess THAT didn't teach her a lot.   Bubby does it to me all the time when I sit at the computer. She did it tonight a little bit ago...we both walked up together,,,I sat down and she came up to me and put her nose by mine and banged me a few times.... I finally reprimanded her and then she put her head on my shoulder for a hug...and that is what she does after she gets reprimanded all the time too.   
Tonight when DH came up the steps to take a shower,,, Bubby jumped up and grabbed (in her teeth) the folded underwear he had in his hand... and she wasn't letting go either,, so whats up with that???     I listened to the advise for Lori and told him NOT to lean over her which I guess he always does.   But she just has to have a toy or something in her mouth when he comes up stairs. Guess thats better than his arm.....LOL  LOL  LOL!!!

I know that every time she's growled at him it's been he's hanging over her while she's lying down, he wants her to down, or some other submissive position. If she won't just do it for him and he tries to "make" her, forget it.

 
If you are allowing this, you aren't the pack leader LOL.
She feels threatened, she growls.  Perfectly appropriate dog behavior - what doesn't your DH get about this?  []  Would he prefer she just bit him for being rude and overbearing?  [sm=uhoh.gif]   Not saying he is that way to humans LOL, but that is how the dog perceives such behavior.  The only way for both of you to address growling is to ignore it and remove the cause (feeling threatened).  DH should take a lesson from you (you know that confrontation is counterproductive, and that *nothing* is gained from "my way or the highway" (with an aggressive dog it is usually the highway - right to a bite), and learn to be a *benevolent* leader.  Get him a copy of The Culture Clash and The Power of Positive Training for his birthday. []

I asked her breeder if she did it to her and she said "all the time and would put her in a bedroom for a time out if she did it too much!"

 
So, dyan, was that before or after giving in to the "nudge"?  If the breeder gave in, even once in a while, she was inadvertantly *reinforcing* Bubby for nudging.  Good grief.
When a rude or demanding dog nudges me, I make believe the dog is invisible LOL.
Maybe you could train DH not to walk up the stairs without a chew toy in his hand...[sm=devil.gif]

Dyan - question about the folded underwear. 
Was (is) Bubby a 'tug-aholic'... you know, a nut about the tug -o-war game?  HB is and altho we have ABSOLUTELY forbid it in our home, she will take any opportunity to try to initiate a game.  (With any thing or object she can think of  when the aggressive mood hits her).

Lori,,,according to Anne,,,we must learn to think like our dog!! I kind of think that is what she is always saying and I don't always think to try to do that.  I think that Willow and Bubby are never going to be 100% the dog we wish we had when it comes to these kinds of issues, and we will always have to remember that. I don't know about you, but for us,, Bubblegum is so sweet and loving that we forget that we need to watch her carefully at all times.
 
Anne, I really don't know if breeder gave Bubby "time out" before or after,,,I would assume after a few times.  Its REALLY hard for me to make her invisible when I get on the computer she is eye to eye,,puts her nose by my nose and pushes...once,,,twice,,,three times...what ever it takes to get your attention.  IF she doesn't push her nose she lays her head on your hands trying to type (drooling on your hands no less...lol) anything for attention. The fact that she is a Dane (large size) makes it hard to ignore her.   I used to have DH bring a snack for coming up the steps,,,actually forgot about that because his back is really bad and he doesn't come up here to watch TV anymore.
 
Trilby,,no Bubby doesn't play "tug" at least that I know of.  DH always used to play tug with any dog and I've never seen him play like that with her.

Dyan,

Have you tried to have Bubby do something different when your DH is coming up the stair?  For example, how about giving him a nice bed in your office off to the corner and teaching him to down/stay on this bed.  When he comes to you for attention (which I can only imagine is difficult to ignore – given that sweet face) tell him to go lay down.  Ignoring is the best but if its difficult redirecting him, laying him down and treating him each time may help you have an alternative.  Then when you DH come up stairs you can direct Bubby to his bed.

What we ended teaching our dog was to leave the room when my son entered.  We did this by first teaching him to "kennel up” and treating him each time he went into his crate.  His crate is in my living room and very convienent.   So each time my son would enter the room we would tell him to "kennel up” he would happily go to his crate and then we had our son give him the treat and tell him to stay – only one of the adults would verbally release him.  After about 4 weeks, he began to run to his crate, on his own, when my son would come into the room.   We did this because of his size too, he is 150 pound dog and my 5 year old is only 40 pounds and he use to run up to my son and herd him every time he entered the room.  By teaching him an alternative reaction to my son entering the room – the problem was solved.

Now having a 5 year old running in and out of the same room every 2 seconds became an issue because my poor dog didn't get a chance to hang out.  So we moved the behavior to his bed, in front of the fireplace.  This is where he is most of time anyway so the need to move when my son enters is eliminated unless he isn't there already.  When he sees my son, he goes lay down on his bed automatically and my son gives him a treat – still.  My son loves this and so does my pooch.  Most of the time we release him right away but it eliminated the rushing my son, licking and herding he was doing.

This practice became very handy with other company too.  When I have company come to the door I allow my dog to and greet the bell, but when I invite someone into the house who isn't comfortable with him I just tell him to "kennel up” and he does.

I know that doesn't stop the growling when your DH is hovering (which you already know he shouldn't) but if you direct him to his bed it may allow your DH to enter without the frustration you have today.