I'm at the end of my rope... (more of a rant)

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'm at the end of my rope... (more of a rant)

    First I am going to say I am sorry if this post is all over the place, I am in quite a state right now.
     
    I am sitting here on the verge of tears.  Some of you have probably seen my posts in regards to my 1 1/2 year old, male Yorkie-poo (Duke) who has been biting us and attacking us.  We have made an appointment with a Behaviorist in our area, but they won't be able to meet with us for a couple of weeks.
     
    The last few days have gotten incredibly worse for us.  Duke has been unmanageable.  I don't know what to do.  He has started to actually jump up at me (continually) to try to attack me.  All I can do is kick him away from me. 
     
    The last couple of weeks we have really started enforcing the NILIF program.  It actually seems to be making him worse, like he is angry and hurt that we are doing this.  Last night, when going for a walk, I put the leash on him and started outside.  The moment I went to go, he started backing up and digging his feet into the ground.  I asked him to come, but he wouldn't budge.  As soon as I put a little slack on the leash he lunged up at me trying to bite me, over and over again.  The only thing I could do to get him under control was to quickly grab him and put his head under my arm (kinda like a head-lock) and take him to the bedroom and close the door.  After about 10 min's I let him out, but continued to ignore him.  But he didn't care..... he doesn't even want to be a part of my pack!  I think that is the main problem, I don't think that he cares if I accept him into the pack or not. 
     
    I almost wonder if by having the new puppy (we got a new puppy 3 or 4 weeks ago) he is going to start his own pack????
     
    I hate this, I love him so much!  I just don't know what to do.... I am so scared that the trainer isn't going to be able to help us, I think that there is something wrong with him, mentally. 
     
    And, Yes, he has been checked by the Vet... no health problems.
     
    I am sorry about this post, I just feel so overwhelmed right now![&o]
    • Gold Top Dog
    Im very sorry I cant imagine how that must feel.  I dont have any advice to offer you just wanted to say Im sorry.  We are here to listen and help you through if possible.  I hope the trainer can help you....  how is he with the other dog?
    • Gold Top Dog
    Caprice, 
     
    You are totally wrong about your dog WANTING to be Alpha and in control of his OWN pack.  Dogs do not want to be Alpha and in our human worlds they are incapabable of being Alpha.  They don't know how to control a situation so they act like your dog does.
     
    Middle pack dogs: Not genetically programmed to be the leader.
    "The only thing more stressful for your dog than being the alpha is being in a pack that has no alpha, so he reluctantly takes the job. So, now you have a dog who's trying hard to be a good leader, but really wants you to be the leader, and he's getting mixed messages. To make matters worse, when he uses aggression, or aggressive displays (which is appropriate alpha behavior) you answer with aggression (pushing etc) and things just get worse from there." Written by D. McKean
    Read the book "Leader of the Pack" by Nancy Baer. This is an interesting book about pack dynamics in a wolf pack. It#%92s easy to read and gives you a picture of what leadership looks like to a dog. The alpha male is not aggressive and most of the time calmly ignores the subordinates. But he protects them and takes care of his pack even if he has to lay down his life. When your dog knows you are the leader he feels secure and the behavior problems disappear. These are things that can help with any behavior problem in dogs.
     
    Here are a list of actions you can take to become your dogs leader:

    Put him in a crate where he can see everyone coming and going. Ignore him completely! For at least a few days don#%92t pet him, talk to him, or even look at him. When you take him out to go potty keep it completely under your control. Put his leash on when he comes back in and lead him to his crate.
    Forever after: Everything he gets comes from you and you initiate it. Put all toys away. Playtime is when YOU decide…get the toy out, interact and play and talk with him. Then put the toy away and say that#%92s all. Don#%92t respond to any initiation of him for anything. (pushing your hand to be petted, whining, barking, etc)
    Teach him to sit and sit means stay there until I say you can get up. Same with down. In the beginning of these 2 exercises you have to stay right beside him, with a leash on, and correct him when he even looks like he#%92s going to move. The correction doesn#%92t have to be harsh. just consistent. While he#%92s sitting/downing you can remind him with the word “sit” and praise him with “Good sit” and reach over and give him a treat now and then. But that doesn#%92t mean he can get up.
    Don#%92t ever give him a command that you can#%92t enforce (such as come when he#%92s loose). Teach him to come on leash with plenty of yummy treats.
    If he whines or barks give him a squirt from a squirt bottle (if water doesn#%92t work mix about 1/3 vinegar). Keep the squirt bottle out of sight and bring it out only for the squirt and put it away. When you squirt say “Quiet!” Don#%92t threaten him with the squirt bottle.
    When you have been gone and come home don#%92t say hello right away. Go get a drink, put your keys away, etc. for a few minutes. Then let him out and greet him.
    Don#%92t stroke him and talk baby talk to him. His praise should be enthusiastic and his petting should be matter of fact. Praise him often but keep it matter of fact.
    I can think of a lot more but you get the picture. All good things come from you and nothing comes from you at his initiation. He is dependent on you for food, going potty, playing, affection, and everything else. He has no control over anything.
     
    The most effective thing you can do, as hard it is going to be is to ignore his jumping, biting and growling.  IGNORE him and walk away.  If he dosen't want to outside, put him back in his crate!!  Try again later.  If he has an acident - oh well.  He will learn to go when you ask.
     
    You do crate train him, yes?  If not, you should start - it is your best tool to control your situation.  Don't talk to him when he is acting this way.  Use body language only - ignore him as best as you can or put him in his crate until he calms down.
     
    Once you ignore him and he does simmer down and walk away (and he will - it can take a hour but he will) and stop his attacking then and only then do you call him to you and offer a treat and good boy for coming to you.  Not for stopping his behavior, but for responding to you positively when you did call him.  Ignore your dog for 5 minutes each time you or him enter a room - don't allow him to push his ways on you.  Continue NILIF and be strong and consitant.  Dogs want to trust in their leaders and it won't work overnight.  Don't pet your dog anymore unless he is being submissive and listening to you.  And only then do you give him a couple of pats and thata boys!  I know it will be hard for you his mommy, but it is so important to knock this dog down a couple of rungs on the later.  Once he is behaving the way you want, you can go back to giving him affection outwardly.  Remeber, don't yell, don't talk to him and try not to touch him when he is acting like this.  Try to ignore him, walk away or put him in his space (crate) but his to learn that he gets no response from his actions.  Only a good response to good behavior, so when his being good then do some tricks - sit, stay, down whatever and treat and praise.  I would also control his food for this is good position for you to excert Alpha on him.  Before you eat, feed yourself a cracker or something while he is watching (dont' talk to him), after you are done put his bowl on the floor and throw a handful in the bowl and walk away.  When he comes to you "nicely" walk over and put another  handful in his bowl and again let him come to you for food.  If he has a special bed, take it away.  Only give it back when you want him to have it and just to prove a point, take it away an hour later and don't return it to the next day.  These steps will help establish your leadership and his subordance.  Hope you get the behaviorlist out there soon.
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: loveukaykay
    how is he with the other dog?

     
    He is really, really good with the other dog now.  He LOVES her. 
     
     
    Luvmyswissy:  I totally agree with your whole response.  I have been trying really hard to follow those exact steps, but I guess I just need to try harder.  I am worried though, he doesn't seem to want to be around us.  Since we have started ignoring him he doesn't come to us for ANY affection. Its like he is ignoring us. 
     
    This may be a stupid question.... but do you think that he may be mentally handicapped?  I don't know, he just seems so wierd.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Hopefully your behaviorist will have some on-the-ground advice for you. All I can contribute is the suggestion that what you are seeing now could be an extinction burst.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Here are some rules I got from a grumpy growler class - it'll help establish order:
     
    1.  Leaders are fair, kind, calm and confident - no hands on your pet unless to pet, no aggression.
     
    2.  Leaders are in charge of food.  Food comes from you - no free feeding, try hand feeding, if necessary, and humans eat first.
     
    3.  Height determines hierarchy.  Leaders are in charge of couches, beds, tops of stairs, tops of desks, in large cars on seats, etc.  People stand up when there is an incident.
     
    4.  Leaders go first.  Through doorways, into hallways, on walks (no pulling).
     
    5.  Leaders are in charge of all interactions.  No free pets, no free access to toys, no free games, leaders are in charge of all interactions on a walk.
     
    Be as consistent as you can!  Have all humans in the house implement these rules.
     
    Ignore his ignoring - I think he's just testing the new situation.  Once he realizes you're the leader, I think he'll come around...
    • Gold Top Dog
    Jones:

    What is extinction burst????
    • Gold Top Dog
    I'm having a hard time wording this correctly, but I think an extinction burst is the idea that things get really bad right before they get better. It's like Duke's last ditch effort to "be bad". So maybe he's understanding your training, but just pushing his limits to see how strong you are. So if you stick with it, he may just do a 180 all of the sudden. While you don't feel like you're making progress with him, maybe he's just really smart and seeing how far he can go.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thank you, that gives me some hope. Now that you say that, it kind of seems like what he is doing.... this is just so confusing!
    • Gold Top Dog
    I almost wonder if by having the new puppy (we got a new puppy 3 or 4 weeks ago) he is going to start his own pack????

     
    Not exactly, but the thought occurs to me that he is now at the age when he would be trying to figure out where is fits in the pack.  It seems that he has decided he needs to be in charge, since you obviously aren't.  Forget about thinking in human terms like "angry and hurt" or "I don't think he cares".  You are assigning human qualities to a dog - and dogs really aren't human, as wonderful as they are in their own right.  Dogs do what works for them.
    Please do not kick your dog out of the way!  If you are aggressive, your dog will be aggressive back.  Instead, fold your arms, turn around, and ignore him like he has the plague.  Yes, it might get worse before it gets better - sort of like a kid stamping his feet and having a tantrum because his ill behavior always worked before and now it doesn't, so he yells louder. 
    • Bronze
    So, there is nothing physically wrong with this guy, and he is altered (if not doing so would be advised).
     
    I do believe that this one definately is trying to establish his status as the alpha leader. He feels that it is his right to snap, and snarl at his subordinates. Any resourse or activity will be controlled by him,  and others will comply to his wishes or face the consequence of his social dominance.  
     
    Aggressive, dominant, & hard dogs may not look for leadership in others, especially  if it has low ;primary drives.
     
     
     
     
     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    Actually, while I think HG is right about your dog trying to establish leadership, I disagree slightly with the idea that a leader dog thinks it's his right to snap at subordinates.  Many dogs snap at other dogs who piss them off.  I have a very subordinate male who will occasionally snap at my most dominant female.  Relationships are fluid, and not always as clear cut as we humans tend to make them.  But, the dogs I have observed who snap the most, or who posture over other dogs are the "wannabes" - dogs of middle rank who would like to move up.  True leader dogs are often the ones who control the others with a glance, rarely having to enforce their position with snapping. 
    • Bronze
    Yes this is true also, they can snap for many reasons. And yes you are correct, however I did say trying, not succeeding. An clearly established leader has confidence in their position and need not constantly display this type of behavior. It is the one who is confused, or lacks ;position or is attempting to keep or move up in rank/pecking order.
    Make it clear  where human members positions are, and it will do him such a favor.
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: spiritdogs

    Please do not kick your dog out of the way!  If you are aggressive, your dog will be aggressive back. 

     
    Spiritdogs, I didn't mean that I kick him out of the way.  I would never try to hurt him.  I meant that when he jumps up biting me (which he actually bites over and over agian), I pushed him off of me with my leg, not hard, just to get his teeth off of me. 
    • Gold Top Dog
    Not long ago I was crating the boys and Sheba was being a major pain in the hiney.....lunging at their crates, barking, snarling, just being a major biotch.  I threw my leg out to BLOCK her only....and she moved at just the right instant and ended up getting kicked in the danged jaw.  I keep my body parts to myself now......they move much more quickly than I do!