I can't get my dog to pay attention to me! And a lot of other questions... please help!

First thing is that you and your spouse need to take this dog to an organized obedience class.  That will teach you things about dog behavior and teach you how to communicate a bit better with your dog.  This will also help with the pulling behavior that you described. 

As far as neutered dogs getting erections...yes.  It is a normal occurance.  Nothing to be worried about.  

The bolting down the hall could be alot of things.  You say you treat the dog as if he's a baby: don't.  Treat him like a canine member of the family.  He'll respect you for it.  This also can be learned, to an extent, from obedience classes.

sometimes he bolts out the door and goes running to explore and won't come when he is called

 
I'll address this, since it seems to be his most dangerous behavior.  Dogs are not born knowing how to come.  They must be taught, in a language that they can understand.  The best method I have found it Leslie Nelson's "Really Reliable Recall".  You can get it on DVD, and there's a less expensive booklet.  Come when called is always taught on lead first - no dog should have any freedom off lead until he is reliable on a long line.  And, you can teach your dog to sit and wait at doorways, also on lead first.  What I do is use an inside door (to avoid the dog getting out into the street if I mess up).  I tell my dog sit-wait, then I open the door a crack - if the dog gets up, the door closes in her face - oops!!!  Then I repeat until the dog hesitates and waits - I say "ok" quickly and the dog's reward is getting out the door.
It sounds like you could use a beginning class - no one should have to discipline a smart dog.  It sounds as if your husband has already managed to frighten him, or reminds him of someone who did.  Instead of discouraging bad behavior, it's easier and more productive to encourage good behavior.  You just need to learn how to teach him.
Do yourself a favor and read "The Culture Clash" by Jean Donaldson.  It will give you some insight as to why it is so hard for you to communicate with this dog, and why you might be damaging your relationship with him.  Another great book for beginners: "Parenting Your Dog" by Trish King.
To find a class:
[linkhttp://www.apdt.com]www.apdt.com[/link]
[linkhttp://www.ccpdt.com]www.ccpdt.com[/link]
[linkhttp://www.clickertraining.com]www.clickertraining.com[/link]

Until you get him trained, best not to let him "practice" pulling you around.  Get an Easy Walk Harness from Premier.
www.premierpet.com.

First of all, thank you both for taking the time to answer my questions.  You both really sound like you know what you are talking about!
 
About obedience classes, are the places like PetsMart good places to take obedience classes, or would I get a better "bang for my buck" with a private trainer?  What's the difference in what is taught at a private lesson vs. a PetsMart lesson?  Are they really worth it?  Will they teach me how to communicate to my dog more in doggie terms with body language and things like that?  Sorry, I know I'm full of questions!  Is that where you all learned all your know-how? 
 
And yes, I'm sorry to say sometimes my hubby is too hard on him.  I ask him not to be but he always says that the only dogs he has ever raised are of the Boxer and Pit Bull variety for the sole purpose of being guard dogs--he's never had a dog for a companion before.
 
On a good note, I have taught him not to go through the door until I call him.  He has bolted on us 4 times, and 3 of those 4 were before we taught him that, so I think teaching him that has been fairly effective in preventing him from running out--it is just every now and then when he spots that opportunity!
 
I will look into the books and the classes.  Thanks again for your replies, and also for the helpful links!
 
Krista

I was looking at the Premier Pets gentle leader head collar.  I have a regular harness--not like the harness on the site with the leash attachment in the front instead of the back--but if the head collar's claims are true it seems like it would be a miracle worker!  Have any of you ever tried it?  Does it really work as well as the website claims?
 
Thanks!
Krista

Attention is a learned behavior just like any thing else.  Different tools have different uses.  A head halter collar is effective for management especially when the handler is not as strong as the dog.  They also reduce the amount of physical stress on the trach/throat.  However, they offer other challenges.  Dominant dogs that really dont respect people often resist the collar, extremely.  Dogs can get good at pawing them off the face or resisting getting them on.  The dog needs to stay at your side rather than ranging about on the leash.
 
The cowering is not about him liking you but about your husband's status over the dog.
 
Try some all day training approaches.  That means a couple of minutes here and there, any time you can think of it.  Feed only half of his food in his dish.  Take the other half and some treats, stash them all over the house (in little containers).  Count out 4-5 pieces.  Do the behaviors you described.  Also do the name game, puppy push ups and recalls.
 
Name game.  Count out 5 treats, without actually doing anything that will get your dogs attention, observe the dog.  As soon as the dog LOOKS AWAY from you.  Call the dogs name  ONE TIME.  If the dog looks,  use an exicted happy voice  and get the dog to come get a treat.  (Yes, what a good dog, arent you the bestest in the world etc.  then give the treat).  IGNORE the dog. Call the dog when it looks away from you. When the dog glances at you repeat.  Remember.  SAY THE NAME ONCE.  if the dog does not look, oh well, no treat for you.  Set up the situation up to 6 times or more a day.
 
Puppy push ups.  Select 5 treats.  Get the dogs attention by waving the treat under the nose.  Do a string of commands for position changes, stand, sit down.  Use the food in front of his nose if necessary to get him to move.  Use different orders and different numbers of commands.  At least three behaviors must occur to get a treat.  Set up to train these up to or more than 6 times a day.
 
Take out 5 treats.  Bring the dog close to you.  Wave the hand full of treats under the dog's nose. No talking, its the dog's job to look, not your job to call him on this behavior.  Pause, wait (and I mean wait; you may need to have the dog on leash and the leash on the floor with our foot on top of it) until the dog LOOKS at your face.  He will eventually.  VERY excited voice and give a treat.
 
Most dogs respond very quickly  (a week or two at most).  When the dog will do this any place in the house, try it outside.  Repeat the same strategies as if he never learned them.  When he is doing it outside (your yard or drive way etc)  try some place else.

"And yes, I'm sorry to say sometimes my hubby is too hard on him.  I ask him not to be but he always says that the only dogs he has ever raised are of the Boxer and Pit Bull variety for the sole purpose of being guard dogs--he's never had a dog for a companion before. "
 
Does your husband hit the dog? That would be why the dog is cowering, please get the book Anne recommended. Maybe let your hubby read it too, things have changed in dog training . Your dog should never cower from you.

Krista1- 
We also have a rescued 1-2 year old dog, that exhibited many of the same problems you talked about.  Our dog respected my husband, and not me (she felt she was the Alpha over me) and our dog would pull and pull on the leash.  Also our dog had very little obedience training... mostly whatever she 'felt like' doing.
We invested in an 8 week Petsmart Beginner's class.
It may have not been the best...but we are graduating this weekend with a much better dog than we had 8 weeks ago. 
I would say that it is a 'good start'.  Altho', like anything else, it depends on the person who is the trainer.  They advocate only humane training and they gave us good walking skills and good sit, stay and down skills.  It is up to us to keep them up and make them solid skills.
I would say that one of the BEST things that have come from it is the enforced social skills.  Your dog has to be in the store with all the other dogs.  It makes them get used to other dogs.
We are going to go on with our training now, but, we are going to do some intensive private sessions.  Our dog is one of those dogs that is stubborn and allows distractions to guide her behaviour.
These people on this forum are wonderful with their advice, also.  I have benefited from reading all their input, especially on my becoming "alpha". The Petsmart trainer didn't really help me out with the Alpha problem.
Anyway, these are the thoughts of a soon to be Petsmart Beginner's graduate.

You both really sound like you know what you are talking about!

 
Thanks. []  At least I know I'm in the right profession!
 
Petsmart trainers are not always beginners in the field, but that is often the case.  The thing I most dislike about store training is that there is little to no interaction between the dogs, and the class is often held in a small ring, always on leash, with no double door system to prevent dogs from escaping the store if they get loose. 
Be concerned about the methods used.  Do you want traditional obedience with choke chains, or do you want positive reinforcement training using motivational techniques?  Personally, I prefer the latter, but as you will see if you hang out here long enough, some people will defend force methods till their dying day.  Sometimes, I use clicker training to teach more complex behaviors, and I have had excellent luck with it.  In fact, yesterday, my 17 year old Yorkie learned "get a whiff" -  she sniffs at the ground when I say that phrase. 
The sites I gave you are no guarantee of a trainer's quality, but a good head start.  If you are unsure, ask the trainer if you can stop by an audit a class to see the methods being used.  Good trainers will welcome you and have a high regard for you as an owner that you would take the time to see that your dog's experience is a good one. 
The Gentle Leader is an excellent tool, but not if used improperly.
The Easy Walk is great because the handler doesn't really have to know much to make it work - just that the different color band goes on the belly, and it should be tight enough so the chest strap doesn't droop.

I reccomend getting the head halter which is like a muzzel that goes over the nose and does up at the back of the head, the leash clips on under the chin.. I know exactly the problems you are having walking the dog.
 
My husband never had any problems with ours but he would always pull with me and at 43 kilo's if he wanted to go he could. My husdand got one for me and with this you have control over their head, so if they went to walk in front of you or pull  you give a slight pull and it turns their head.. This is the best thing we got, he can no longer walk all over me. We tried the harness but it didn't help. Also when walking take some treats with you in your pocket, when he is walking along side you being good raise and give a treat.
 

Wow!  Thanks for your help, everyone--you all gave me some really great suggestions that I'm going to have to try!  Mrv, I love your suggestions on training attention instead of getting attention.
 
I just might invest in one of those Gentle Leaders.  I do have a question, though--if the dog walks infront of you (not right infront of me but at the end of his 6 ft leash infront of me) is that a sign that he thinks he is dominant?  Is it important that I stop that behavior, or is it just a preference for owners? 
 
Also, what is the "clicking method?"  I've heard of it but I'm not really sure how it works.  And yes, hubby does hit the dog occasionally, but not as a training method--more of a diciplinary thing.  Whenever I train him I use positive reinforcement.
 
I might look into some of the store training, I don't think I can afford a personal trainer right now.  I think it would be especially good to get him used to being around other people and dogs.  I think he would enjoy himself, too!  Thanks Trilby999 for your insight into the Petsmart class--and congrats on your little graduate!
 
Thanks again, everyone, for your time.
 
Krista

Krista - I didn't read the entire post, but I saw your question about Petsmart's classes and I wanted to just quickly comment on that.  I took my puppy to "puppy class" at Petsmart, it was like $120 for 8 weekly 1 hour session.  They have a max of 8 dogs per class.  I learned sooo much from this class because I am a first time dog owner.  I needed to know how to train, how to react and what to expect.  The trainer we had was amazing, she answered questions about everything and you would hear other people with the same problems and could relate.  It was a class for me more than the dog, he just wanted to play with the GSD sitting next to us.  But it was the best $120 spent in my opinion  .  I haven't signed up for intermediate classes yet, I wanted to take a break and practice what we already knew, but eventually, we will go back.  Now, my 9 month old goes to Petsmart's Doggie Day Camp twice a week, he loves it there and knows all the staff members.  But I will say this, all Petsmarts are not the same. We go to the Petsmart in Secaucus, NJ which is brand new.  I would visit your local store and meet the trainer, and ask to talk to current enrolled parents and "feel" the place out.  The nicest thing about working with a big corporation, they have a money back guarantee or something to that effect.  Good luck and I hope this information was helpful.

You can look at this site to for information about clicker training:   

   http://www.clickertraining.com/home/

It's a wonderful training method and I've had great success with it myself.   It's based on positive reinforcement.

It seems like you don't agree with your husband hitting the dog, which is good, but I want to stress that hitting is completely unacceptable and it is also counterproductive. 

Winstonsmom--Thank you for your input on the Petsmart classes.  I always wondered if it was a real trainer at those kind of places or just a part time employee with minimal training on how to train the animals.  It is nice to find that you (and another member) found the classes to be satisfactory!  I will have to see if I can sit in on a class at my local Petsmart.
 
Inne--thanks for the website on clicker training!  I read up on it and it sounds pretty convincing.  I might just have to buy a clicker when I go to Petsmart tomorrow to get my head harness and check up on classes.
 
Mrv--I already started on training Andy to pay attention.  I'm definitely going to have to start with it inside because I tried it outside while I was walking him and the only way I could get his attention when I called his name is if I stopped and kneeled down and clapped my hands!  Yikes!  Showed me just how much I needed to train him on this!  But I tried it when I got back inside and he seemed to pick up on it.  So I will work at it and eventually when he gets really good do it in environments other than my living room.  Thanks again for your help!  I have a feeling I will soon have a very attentive dog!
 
Krista