Fear Aggression????

Congrats on todays accomplishment. 
 
One little change...instead of saying "oh no" and then repeating "oh no" to yourself.  Try changing your thought process to something like "oh good...here's a chance to practice" and then repeat "oh good!". 
 
Mindset makes a difference!

MRGMFOSTER -
You are good. 
I am going to reprogram MYSELF!

Excellent!
HB must be like "HUH??? where did SHE come from!" She was probably in a canine quandry! No choice but to behave. I know how good you must feel. Funny how these four-leggeds can just get to us. I've been thinking alot about all the great suggestions (and support) I've picked up here. Thanks to you all. I especially like the post from Mic Foster, about KNOWING vs. HOPING your dog will comply. I think that dogs are much more in tune with intuition than perhaps we give them credit for, so if our intent/expectation from the beginning is clear, then there's alot less room for non compliance. Am totally trying to change my mindset from...Will he? To he will.

Another small victory for us yesterday. The neighbor was allowed to work in her own yard without being serenaded by the snarling pyscho. Instead he just watched her at our fenceline. No aggression, no hackles, just a good boy.

Just cuz' we passed obedience school, doesn't mean we're done learning.

MM - And yet another parallel experience!!  Last night as we sat out on our deck - which is one of HB's best viewing spots - our neighbor came out with a leaf blower and did some leaf blowing. 
We sat in awe as HB stood on her tippy toes to watch him.  Soundlessly!!!
So,we know exactly the 'victory' you felt with the Mook yesterday!

Way to go folks.  Stay focused, stay positive, and stick to the three keys: 
 
Exercise - walking, running, tugging, Frisbee, fetch, pulling, hauling, biking, golfing, chasing, hide/seek, etc. 
 
Obedience - commands, commands, commands (sit, down, stay, come, heel, leave it, take it, give it, go to place, settle, wait, stand, etc.)
 
Affection - food, water, eye contact, verbal communication, physical touch, etc.
 
Congrats again.....
 
 

Also, while you adjust your own attitude LOL, make sure you are learning to be a "benevolent leader".  You can insist that your dog comply with a request without raising your voice or jerking the lead.  You can be firm and authoritative without being authoritarian.  Most dogs prefer to let the human be in charge, and are actually happier knowing that they will be protected.  Try clicker training with a dog like this, and I think you might be pleasantly surprised. 

Another update and landmark.
This morning our painter came over to give us an estimate.  He is a free spirit with wild long hair.
When we opened the door to let him in, HoneyBear SNARLED (I was holding her collar, expecting a ruckus) like some sort of horrible beast.  I thought I saw the cartoon type drool dripping off her fangs.  (Ok, not really.  But, you should've heard that snarl).
Both husband and I told her to SIT.  She sat.  I petted her and told her that this guy is a friend and he is an OK guy.  Our painter stood rock solid still. 
I released the Bear and let her go over, supervised, to sniff our painter.
Then he petted her. 
Of course, as always, she sneaked up on her hind legs to give him her special HoneyBear-hug... which we try to squelch constantly.  He hugged her back (he loves dogs) and all was well.
I am pretty pleased about this as we've only had HB for 12 weeks now and have not had much company over.  This was a new thing to her.
One side note, when we had moved from the foyer to the dining room, HB sneaked in yet another illegal Bear-hug and I noticed that her tail was between her legs. 
Hmmm?

Can I suggest one more thing to you...I don't want you to feel like I am picking on you at all.  I think you are doing a GREAT job.
 
You said

HoneyBear SNARLED (I was holding her collar, expecting a ruckus) like some sort of horrible beast. 

 
You can unintentionally set your dog up for failure by doing things like grabbing the collar or tightening up a leash.  You inadvertently put them on alert and they are ready to fire off at a moments notice.  I am betting you mainly grab the collar the way you did when there is a stranger present. This puts the dog on alert every time there is a stranger coming in.
 
I would suggest working on a very solid down stay.  That way when someone comes to the door (and elsewhere) you can control the dog with out the tension of the physical contact.  Do you know the basics of teaching this?
 
You also tend to give your dog a command after the insanity has begun.  Try preempting it.  See if that helps.  It may take some practice, but I am sure you will get it.

Mic -
Oh, gosh, no... I do not think you are picking on me.  I realize I am making mistakes, and I appreciate them being pointed out to me.  Then I can work on them.
You see, I didn't even think about "setting her up" by holding her collar.  I was only thinking in terms of "uh oh" -  AGAIN. 
Yes, we do know the basic sit, down and stay.  But, we are still working on HB doing it every time.  She is still hanging on to her 'deciding' if she wants to do it or not.  She is stubborn.  And if there is something else going on - she may 'decide' not to sit.
So, OK, reading what I just wrote... I don't think we do have a basic sit and stay.  I think I am kidding myself. 
I have initiated the NILIF system, and I have (what do you think of this?) started -along with my husband - to enter our home thru the front door, ringing the doorbell several times, and then making her sit and stay everytime we come in.  And I am trying to expect her to do it everytime.  (As opposed to hoping she will).
But, still, lots of work to do here. 
So, you think that when the painter (or who ever) comes back to the front door, I should make HB sit and stay.  I should place myself between her and the guest... right?  And keep making the stay gesture?  And then let her up after the guest feels comfortable?
 
 
 

Exactly.  Just make sure you have the control you need as far as the commands go.  I don't want anyone to get bit. 
 
Also, I would change the sit stay to a down stay for two reasons.  First, the majority of dogs will hold a down stay more firmly than a sit stay.  Secondly it takes a dog a split second longer to get up from the down, and this may be just the amount of time you need to catch him before he gets to someone.

Mic-
This "down / stay" is really a good thing for us, since HoneyBear is usually going right down after I make the sit command.  She is a natural for the down/stay.
Good stuff.
And, as always, thanks for the pro advice. 

Ditto on the thanks to Mic, since we're going through alot of the same issues with the Mookster.

On the eye contact thing, have found that when we're playing, if I tell him "watch me" before I release the coveted tennis ball he'll look at me and hold my gaze until I give up that slobbery spitball. Have started asking for this little request every time and it seems to be helping. In other situations it doesn't seem to be as difficult, much easier when I have treats. It seems he is less inclined when I don't have ball or treats. (He will sit with just praise reward) Any suggestions or do I always reward him right now for the time being?

MM- great idea about the 'eye contact/play ball' idea!!!  I am going to try it today.  The Bear is also a fanatic when it comes to her play ball.
(We have locked up all her toys, now that we are on the NILIF program.  And it makes her love them even more.)
This could be very very effective!

Mook's Mom-  Well, our stubborn girl decided that if I am going to insist that she 'look at me' before I throw the beloved ball for our game time -
She would rather not play.
Can you believe her?  She put the ball down after about 4 throws and walked away from it.  Jeez. 
Am I that hard to look at????

Hey T999,
She is a stubborn stinky girl! Did she come with a black leather jacket? My best advice on that would be to retire the ball for a while, and then make her really want it by only throwing it a couple of times and putting it away before she has a chance to get tired of it. Mookie has enough retriever in his mixed up linage that he gets super focused on the ball. When he was younger, we always ended the game before he wanted to, as not to burn him out on it. What about treats? Will she look at you for treats? You might have to make it something really special (do I hear Filet?), something that she LOVES and would do anything for, like even look at the crazy human who is challlenging her! I can't imaginge that you're that hard to look at!