I think my dog hates my boyfriend

anything different about being at the boyfriends house vs another person? I would assume, there is.

This is your boyfriend and I would imagine you act differently with him than a friend or family member. You probably touch, hug, and more...am I correct? I do not mean to pry but MANY animals...find human relations to be stressful or interesting, or both. If she is IN the room when this occurs during the night, remove her, if she is NOT, you can move her in if you both feel comfortable with that.

You also should not be letting any dog no matter how well trained...just run all over someone's home overnight. That is just me. Not everyone's home is proofed like mine and they could get into ANYTHING or get out when I am sleeping in the am and someone else allows it, in short anything could happen. If I were you I would confine the dog to a crate or ex pen with some toys and possibly a radio on low volume and call it a night. Be easier to clean up IF there is an accident and might actually relieve some of the dogs stress at what you might or might not be doing with your man.

BTW many herding breeds are notoriously people possessive...so this could factor in as well.

Being at a boyfriend's home could mean there is stress involved.  But given that the dog is soiling in the *same spot* also likely means the spot wasn't deep cleaned well enough so the dog is returning to the place of last success (and the fact you didn't find it til the morning means the dog thot it was acceptable).

 Remember -- a dog identifies with its waste as it's "mark" -- so tell the dog tomorrow morning "bad dog" when you point to the offending stuff tells the dog you don't like *them* -- it doesn't tell them you don't like the spot the dog picked.

You likely need to work on a clearer indicator that's portable if you are relying on the dog "telling you" it needs to go out.  Also -- look at what's different.  When you stay other places is the dog in the same room with you as opposed to being left in a different room when you are at your boyfriend's?

Dogs are extremely situational -- just because the dog is "ok" at home doesn't mean it will be elsewhere.  Try a different crate (even something soft-sided) or an x-pen in the room or just outside the door rather than leaving the dog in a different-than-normal home alone.  NONE of the rules that apply to "home" apply there in the dog's mind.

That's very helpful, thank you.  I think the first step is to do a better job of cleaning the area so I'll take care of that.  Its a very small apartment and she is encouraged to stay in the room with us at night.  If she does leave she usually sleeps on the couch.  Is she having diahrrea because she is stressed out?  She shows no signs of stress while we are awake.

laura_boston

Is she having diahrrea because she is stressed out? 

Probably so yes. It could even have become a vicious cycle at this point where when it comes time to retire YOU get a bit worried and wonder "gosh I hope she does okay please don't get the squirts" etc. You may just have a general "vibe" of anticipation or such that she is uncomfortable with. Some dogs are VERY tuned into their owners moods and if you anticipate your dog doing something you don't want, many times that alone will stress them.

what's she like in a general sense with men? How are those men she is fine with different from or the same as, your boyfriend? Men come in all shapes sizes and colors, some have deep authoritative tones, others broad hand motions, others wrestly and play rough even with those they love. Try and look at the bigger picture and find what things may be different.

I may be a little stressed out while I am there since I'm worried about her and sometimes my boyfriend stresses me out a little bit - but that belongs on a different forum all together .  I have another male friend that takes care of her sometimes and she has never had an accident in his house.  She's fine with my father too.  I don't have reason to believe she has an issue with men.  Often, my boyfriend will take her out for her nighttime walk and I think I'll do that from now on. 

This is really good advice and some good points to think about.  Thank you so much. 

laura_boston

Often, my boyfriend will take her out for her nighttime walk and I think I'll do that from now on. 

This is GOOD, imo. He should be spending some time with her. Better that you go along so you all three can have some time in a fun environment like a walk. Have him feed her, throw her toys, or do some commands as well. If while you are there with him she is ALWAYS near YOU that tells you she is either not comfy OR just a velcro type personality that may never be comfortable with anyone other than you 100% of the way.

She needs to see from you that YOU are comfortable and this man is an accepted pack member. My dogs all ignore my husband but they certainly aren't uncomfortable...they just know he isn't the one in charge LOL!

As an Aussie freak, I am going to jump in here to say that I think that sending her out of the room or sending her out on walks with the BF is not as good an idea as people may think - YET.   Many Aussies need time to get used to people, especially if they have perceived them as a threat (because she wants YOU to be hers, and not his).  They are notoriously possessive of their favorite humans, and are stressed *more* when left with people they don't know or love yet.  So, I would start more slowly.  Have the BF feed her dinner for a couple of weeks, then have him occasionally, for no reason, drop a few bits of chicken at her feet.  Ask that he NOT stare at her or approach her frontally (threatening behavior which she may have already interpreted - is he a macho, powerful, or large guy?)  Trust your dog - if your dog is leery of this man and not others then you need to think about why.  Is it his body language?  Is she picking up on anything that you also feel but don't want to admit?  (Sorry, had to say that, because it seems that some dogs are just clairvoyant that way, although with the Aussie possessiveness, it may just be that he got a little too close to her favorite *resource* which is you.  Just hoping that denial isn't in this mix at all, given your comment above.)  Pullease, pack leadership has NOTHING to do with this!!!!!!   You cannot effect change in your dog's emotional response to this guy by showing her who's boss and that you accept him.  You can only show her that he is OK if he really is OK, and if you keep her safe no matter what.  So, no throwing her under the bus by sending her out the door with the one she fears/dislikes/doesn't trust.  Instead, use classical conditioning to change her mind about him - so, when you are sitting around watching TV, let him toss a couple of chicken bits to her onto the floor for no other reason than that she is there.  He can feed her meals to her when you are at his place, and even at your place.  Allow her to go to him for a pat, or just a sniff, don't have him force himself on her.  Also, do not banish her from the bedroom - she needs the experience of habituating to the fact that you like to spend your time there, and she needs to see that nothing bad happens when you are there with her and with him.  These dogs are smarter than the average dog, and can understand a lot more than you think.  Think about crating her in the bedroom with you when you sleep, but take her with you when you roam the house yourselves.