Cat person wanting to understand dogs more!

 Pack theory  is very outdated, and alpha rolls (making the dog lie on her back to show her submission) are very outdated, and can be dangerous.

I would guess that the dog is following you because you are different, and exciting. A friendly dog will follow someone they like, just because they like them and want to see what they're doing. Dogs are different than cats. Far, far more interested in what humans are doing. My dogs follow me from room to room, and I don't even shower alone. They've done this since they were puppies, or since they first came home. 

Hi, welcome to the forum.

I once had a BC mix and in my experience with MY Daisey, they tend to be very bossy and herding is just what comes naturally to them.  I reminded her, as I remind my gsds now, that mom is NOT a sheep.  With the gsds, they herd one another now, rather than the people, but it did take time and careful training.

In my personal opinion, dominance training is not a good thing, and pack position is fluid, changing constantly.  I can do absolutely anything to or with my dogs.  I trust them not to harm me, but I would NEVER alpha roll one of them.  Your son in law doing that in front of the other dogs didn't do squat in my opinion....didn't teach Daisy that THEY were above her, just that SIL is maybe a bully.

I have a LOT of big dogs and not one of them has ever been alpha rolled, yet for the most part, they are wonderful, well behaved dogs.  They have been taught what is and what isn't ok and I don't have to bully them to enforce that. 

All that said, yes, right now we have some issues, but, we are also living in an RV, and have been since May.    The corrections/instructions that I give in HERE have to be fluid and not exactly the same as when we are in a house.  And talk about tripping over each other??  In our case, it's simply because there is NOT enough room for everyone.

You might want to suggest that your daughter and son in law look into positive reinforcement training.  Clearly what they are doing now is not working and with an independent minded dog like a BC, will not likely EVER work the way they want it to.

It kind of sounds to me, like Daisey clings to you because she sees you as the only benevelent human in the house.  I have one particularly velcro dog and I have to tell Theo where I'm going or he follows every step I take.  It won't work immediately, but in time, she'll get that you always come back.  Especially in our current cramped living situation, I do not need a dog or two or six, watching me pee!

MY BC mix was a very dominant, in the middle of stuff, dog, but with gentle direction she turned into a wonderful friend.  Your Daisey can too.

I can't help but feel that she might be following you everywhere because you are in fact sick and weaker.  Not because she wants to dominant you, but because she might sense your weakness and want to make sure she can be there to watch over, protect, and help you if you have a problem.  Dogs senses are so acute when it comes to knowing what is going internally with people and other animals.  Healthwise she will know if you are having a problem even before you do.

 Instead of trying to get her to stop following you, I would work on teaching her some commands to direct her movement so when you are getting around it is easier to move.  I've always liked the command excuse me when dogs are underfoot.  Initially you might want to carry some treats with you and as you say it toss the treat where you want her to go.  As soon as she catches on, start pointing and not giving the treat till she has moved.  Once she has that down, you can start phasing out the treats and only reward with that intermittently while using praise the rest of the time.  Clicker training could be great for this because you could without a word mark when she is doing something you like.  For instance if she is naturally trailing behind or far enough to the side you could click and mark that position, then rewarding her with a treat to let her know that is where you want her to be when you are moving through the house.

First off:  **HUGE APPLAUSE FOR MARY**

I think that as a *cat* person, your attempt to understand this situation to better work yourself into it is incredibly wonderful.

I'm going to "ditto" everything that everyone has said above about the "dominance" stuff.  And altho herders can be 'bossy' or 'dominant' they are, at heart, organizers.  If you think of it that way it helps.

I agree with KrissimKlaw -- this dog isn't herding you to be bossy or dominant.  She IS protecting you.  Literally she's walking you down the hall the way a nurse might.  Remember -- in a working situation, not only is a border collie/other herding types going to 'cut' sheep out and move them into a pen ... but they are also going to protect the weak ones.  Literally they're going to keep a special 'eye' (and the eyes have a ton to do with this) on the weaker or more elderly animals to make sure they don't wander off a cliff or into dangerous territory OR GET ATTACKED by that wolf always lurking on the fringe.

In short -- it can be exhausting work being a herder. 

I am, myself, quite disabled.  I don't walk well at all and a dog zooming past me or under my feet can literally make me land on the floor.  I literally train my dogs to follow my pointing finger (JUST like she suggested above) with "Go THAT way" and then "Stay" (or sit of whatever is easy for this dog to get rewarded).

This is a natural for a border collie -- who, in a working situation, would actually be trained with a series of whistles to go in a certain direction so they can be extremely adept at small nuances in sound and voice. 

But simply telling her "Go there ... and Sit!" (with enough space between the two so she obeys) and treat her and you will soon have her following your commands (and probably a whole lot better than for your son in law).

Various breeds of dogs respond VERY differently to humans.  Some are far more food-motivated than others.  Some are independant, some aren't.  This is one reason why they can be so confusing to non-cat people.  But if you learn to work within the breed traits it helps enormously.

By the names you recited, I'm going to make a flaming guess that you have had cocker spaniels in your history??  They are sporting dogs -- originally bred to hunt with and their nose "rules" the rest of the dog.  Border collies and herders tend to be WAY more visual -- they're going to spot that leaf that is falling almost out of everyone's eye range -- they're going to KNOW that squirrel is just over the fence lurking and they will already have taken into account the fact that there's a child just around the corner.  They notice more. 

In the herders I've had (and I've had cockers too, and my Billy is a cocker) I have always said that herders have "fractured concentration" -- not that it's scattered.  No -- simply that they have the inate ability to concentrate on 99 things all at the same time.  Other breeds tend to focus on ONE thing at a time (and then their concentration can be broken by that squirrel who suddenly darts into their path) whereas the herder will simply herd the offender away from YOU so they can get back to the primary "duty" of escorting you where you are going because you NEED them more right now.

Hope that makes sense.  It's actually a compliment -- it doesn't mean the dog sees you are lunch ... but rather someone deserving of extra special care.  She will APPRECIATE your direction and your attention to 'rewarding' her when she moves the way you want her to.

You would benefit from doing some reading on dog behavior.   Try the book Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson.

A Border Collie or a mix of the breed is a really difficult dog to understand purely because they are such an active breed. BC’s need a job! They have an amazingly smart mind but if it’s not being used they will find something to do. Perhaps following you around is what she has made into her job. When it comes to interacting with other dogs, BCs prefer to keep their distance. They are very aware of their surrounding and like having their space in situations where they have some control. The concept of pack behavior seems to be overused a lot when trying to understand dogs. I prefer to look at each dog as an individual when evaluating before I ever go into pack structure. Many herding breeds often land in shelters because they are not the tipical "family pet" that someone was looking for.  Most of the reasoning for that comes from not being able to fully understand the dog's needs and habits. 

My Gizmo has many of the Border Collie traits and although she’s not full BC she’s been the most challenging dog I have ever had to work with. I love her though, and if given the chance I would own another BC or similar breed in a heartbeat. When I’m home she must be in the same room as me and will also wait at the bathroom door when I’m in there.  She also likes to be independent at the same time but needs direction. She can run and play all day and never get tiered yet if I give her a task to do it wears her out.

I agree with everyone's advice and here's my take on the situation. The dogs are not struggling for alpha position. In fact, wolf researcher L. David Mech truly regrets helping give that word so much power. He doesn't even apply it to wolves any more. And he studies wolves in their natural environment, not his.

One dog values one resource and another values another one. For one dog, having a particular chew toy is more important than a sweet resting spot and vice versa for the other dog.

You are dealing with a herding dog. One neighbor has two border collies, and a healer mix. The BCs will herd everything under the sun. A car driving down the street. Each other. Shadow. Whatever. If it moves, herd it. They also live on a working ranch. To live is to herd. But they are hard workers and you can train them work with you instead of against you.

As for the alpha roll, most people view it bass ackwards. One dog does not force another down. The dog that is down takes himself down as a sign of respect and also, actually, has the upper hand, now having access to the underside of the standing dog. If you ever see two dogs fighting, they are going at it while standing and trying to get each other, not assuming a scruff and pin. Example, I was walking Shadow once and two loose dogs came at us. Shadow got the nearest one and grabbed hold by the neck and shook the crap out of him, without puncturing or drawing blood. This made the other dog go away, which is what he wanted. That is, the limited engagement was meant to ward off greater damage and conflict.

Dogs, like other animals, seek reward and avoid pain. And timing is critical. It is easier to mark and reward something than it is to punish at the exact instant of a misbehavior. The added benefit of reward training is that sometimes, "wrong" behavior dies on it's own in the face of the grander rewards for "right" behavior. Make what you want to be done the greatest thing in the world and that's most of the struggle.

And some dogs may not always respond to this. That is where management of the environment comes in. Yeah, it's not fair. That's life. But, as Glenda points out, she has 6 german shepherds, each averaging at least 90 lbs and those dogs are a combo of herding and guarding. And Glenda is a petite woman with a weak shoulder. And she has walked all 6 off leash before. Because listening to Glenda is the greatest thing in the world. The effort she goes through to feed them what she feeds them makes her queen of the world. I almost want to believe in reincarnation so that I could come back as a Glenda dog. Even now, I am house-trained and I don't eat cats.

And we have a cat, too.