Loopy
Lucy has really bonded with the youngest of our 4 dogs, Lexi. Lucy is a grump but there is a soft spot in her heart for Lexi.Lexi really brings out the puppy in Lucy and they get so silly together.
We just lost Kee Shu in early January -- and because of your ultimate question I'm going to say this -- Tinkerbell will be 2 on Valentine's and Ms. Kee was a pretty shut down old gal when Tink came to us at 5 months (and Tink was also quite sick -- see her pictures in my photos). I exchanged a scent box with Tinks foster mom before she got to us, and all of my 3 welcomed Tink with HUGE OPEN PAWS -- they all greeted each other as tho they had been reared together. ALL of them.
But Tink and Kee had a special thing -- no playing. Tink would just go, at the end of the day, and curl up next to Kee. They were a bit social (if Tink particularly wanted a baby gate knocked down she's go get the old peke -- cos nobuddy is gonna scold the old peke girl from ramming down a baby gate and then you can get just whatever you want if you follow her thru!!.
It was definitely an 'odd' relationship but it WAS a relationship. As Kee got super super senior, the pug would watch out for her. If Kee would vocalize from the other room -- it was the pug who would go get ME to make sure "Grammy Dog" was ok (and for all the world that's exactly how it was -- you'd have thot Kee was her gramma!!)
Loopy
I'm worried about how the other dogs with react - especially Lexi.
Do you think it would be beneficial for Lexi to be able to see Lucy's body after she passes?
I would never do it any other way if I could ***POSSIBLY** orchestrate it to happen.
On our way out the door, we told them Ms. Kee was ready to go over Rainbow Bridge (and yes, we talk about this and use those words -- and after their first experience they DO **get it**) and we let each dog sniff her and say goodbye. WE made no bones about the fact that Ms. Kee wasn't coming back -- she was too sick and too old and now she didn't want to eat so we had promised her we wouldn't let her hurt.
We took Kee to the emergency vet because my husband wanted to be with me and we had to do it at night (she'd stopped eating -- it was TIME -- and she was 19+ years old). But I wouldn't let them send her out -- we brought Kee HOME afterward.
WE put Kee on the Futon and let each of them approach and sniff her. Billy has seen this before -- he **Knew** when i said "She's going over Rainbow Bridge and she'll go finally be with Foxy!" (Foxy had been Billy's bud -- and Billy went up to the vets with me when Fox went over the Bridge)
Billy took a quick sniff and passed by. Luna and Tink lingered. They really checked her out pretty well -- no trauma -- just quiet acceptance. and silence.
The next morning I took Kee up to my own regular vet to have her sent for cremation. NOT all crematory facilities are good ones -- be careful -- you may not get back **your** dog's ashes for sure (often some places cremate many dogs at once and just give you back 'some' ashes. --It's awful).
They miss her -- yes. We all do. But there's no endless looking for that dog. There's no huge trauma or worry. And there's no suspicion that you just "dumped" the older dog (and remember, at least in MY house many dogs are rescues and they have SEEN old dogs just get dumped at shelters!! They aren't stupid.)
Typically the reaction you get is they sniff the dog and will look at you as if to say "Yeah -- that's her shell, but SHE is gone ... she's not IN there any more"
They tend to accept death far better than we do.
We talk about Rainbow Bridge here -- that's where the departed dogs "are". It causes no trauma to mention them
I'll kid you not -- Tink MISSES Kee Shu -- she's gone back to **needing** a nylabone in the evenings or she'll try to lick fabric and be ill at ease. She's trying hard now to convince Billy that he really would like to CUDDLE a bit in the evenings. It's nice -- try it with me?? He does a bit.
They cope -- but honestly I've done it both ways and the worry, and angst and indecision I've seen when a dog doesn't get to say "goodbye" -- it's not good.
They DO grieve. But done this way, at least in my pack, it's healthy and it's ok.
One more thing -- I always have the vet insert a catheter -- so the vet can give valium **just before** the pink stuff. It enables the dog to simply go deeply asleep -- so there is absolutely NO trauma in the euthanasia drug.
I think it also makes a difference to the other dogs after. They *knew* Kee passed peacefully. There was no smell of fear, no smell of trauma -- just Grammy Dog had gone to sleep and she went all the way beyond this life while asleep.
Again -- its something I always do now. I've had some die here -- I've had a few I've had to help over the Bridge. I will never *again* ask a dog to go too far because of my inability to deal. I did that *once*. I fell apart on her while she was dying and it was horrible and it was ugly and I'm totally ashamed of myself for it. She loved me -- and I know she forgave me. But I learned that day *the hard way* that I will never ask a dog to go beyond what they can do ever again. There were extenuating circumstances -- but it was one of those life lessons that kicked me really hard.
Good luck -- this is a really difficult thing but I give you huge huge cudos for doing your research *now* so you will make the whole thing easier on everbuddy then. My thots and prayers are with you.