Suggestions for Gibby and a baby PLEASE

Dyan, I don't have any ideas to offer.  However, I do want to toss something into the pot.

I think that most of Dyan's anxiety is coming from the unplanned presence of the DIL, who, from all accounts, is a gold plated b*tch who thinks she's better than anyone else and has a poker stuck where the sun don't shine so far that she can't bend over.  Add to that the fact that DIL is a dog hater, that Dyan obviously wants to have some time with her grandbaby...and yeah, I see why this is so stressful for her.

Honestly, it sounds very much to me like Dyan is a "typical" dog owner in that her expectations aren't as rigid as some folks.  Quite honestly, I never demanded as much of my cockers as I do my gsd's. Part of that is my own growth as an owner, but part of it also is the knowledge that my big dogs aren't "cute" like the cockers were and are subject to much harder scrutiny.  There are a whole lot of very good, and very loving owners in the world who don't do each and every training class available, and that's ok.  Obviously this matters enough to Dyan that's she's going to do some serious work on "company" manners, but the immediate problem is less than a week away.

Dyan, my dogs tend to be happier away from the commotion of company so they pretty generally hang out in other parts of the house.  I wish I could offer a quick and easy fix for Thanksgiving day.........

dyan

AgileGSD

Where do you get the idea that show dogs are given "things" to help keep them calm?

 

Bubblegum was a show dog....and that is what I was told...along with a few other choice things..........

 Of all of the show people I know, I don't know any who drug their dogs to show them. Most people want their dogs to be more animated and "showy" in the ring - not calmer. The only dogs I have heard of being drugged are dogs who are too shy or aggressive to be examined and that is not something that is considered ethical.

dyan

I checked back...I don't see where I said any of this to be honest. I said we work with him every day...said we have to. Said I have been slacking a little though...need to start worked more with him again..and now that I am not working, I will. Said while I worked my DH was in charge and he does what he wants. And basically....if I expected Gibby to be able to do what he wanted to and everyone should tolerate him,  I would not have started this conversation to begin with.

It sounded like everything which was suggested you said wouldn't work because Gibby doesn't like it. He doesn't like to be crated, he doesn't accept being behind a barrier, he wouldn't tolerate being confined to one room. I understand you didn't mean for it to sound that way but it is hard to give advice on how to make your family visit less stressful when there isn't enough time to teach the dog any new behaviors and your dog has never been expected to tolerate being confined when guests are over.

dyan

AgileGSD

Why do you believe that dog bit because he was generally separated from company?

Because that is what the their dogs vet told them at that time. It has ALWAYS stuck with me...and I do believe that could be very true. It makes sense.

 Although some vets are very involved in training, most general vets are not the best source for behavior and training info. I agree with the poster who said that the dog probably bit due to poor socialization and lack of training. Putting a dog away when company comes over does not cause aggression, although aggression is often why owners don't allow the dog out with guests. I often suggested that people put their dogs away when guests come over and allow the guests to come in and hang around for at least 15 - 20 minutes before letting the dog out. As a rule, this usually improves the dog's interaction with the guests because the dog doesn't have to deal with the excitement of people coming through the door.

You got it Glenda! Thanks for realizing what I was actually trying to say.  I really didn't expect people on this dog forum to accept a dog hater...but what would I know??

AgileGSD

The only dogs I have heard of being drugged are dogs who are too shy or aggressive to be examined and that is not something that is considered ethical.

Or to help maintain focus.

AgileGSD

It sounded like everything which was suggested you said wouldn't work because Gibby doesn't like it.

Well I don't think he would like being tied to my husband....but that is the first thing I said I will have to do.

 The crate is gone so that is not an option.

I don't think he likes being barricaded but I said I barricade him often...just not with company because there was no need to. To barricade him in my bedroom where the bathroom is that people will go to...and where probably the baby will need to be diaper changed,  and where it will probably get knocked down and we will have to keep putting him back in and picking it back up.....isn't really less stressful.

I only have one dog, he has always been with our guests and has not bothered anyone. If they are eating snacks or so..he knows to lay down, no where near them, which he does.    He MIGHT go into zoomies...never know about that from one time or the next.....he MIGHT jump on someone when they come into the house which I will do my best to not let happen ( as I said before it is a GREAT idea to keep them away and let him greet after the guest come in, wish I had started to train him for that...AND WILL ).    However my problem my DIL who will be looking for problems with the dog...especially since she hates dogs and possibly DH who always is in charge of the dog while I am preparing in the kitchen...and  starts watching TV.   Then there is my 80 some year old MIL that will also be there....who I have to also watch, so he doesn't get too close to her if she doesn't have her walker.

AgileGSD

I often suggested that people put their dogs away when guests come over and allow the guests to come in and hang around for at least 15 - 20 minutes before letting the dog out. As a rule, this usually improves the dog's interaction with the guests because the dog doesn't have to deal with the excitement of people coming through the door.

Thats a wonderful idea....however much different than locking your dog up everytimes someone comes over and don't let him out.... except for once in a while as the lady did with my SIL.

I do think that if I had an aggresive dog that I had to worry about..... or a bunch of dogs that people would hate......or a dog that is sick or smells or is otherwise offensive to everyone..... I might think its best to keep them away from my guests.   However I have one dog...and even though he is large puppy who isn't trained to follow immediate commands like a chosen few are trained.....I do believe that he should not have to be kept away from guests.   He should not be allowed to bother them...but I'm not talking about my dog bothering people...I'm talking about a certain PEOPLE that will be bothered because he is there.

This thread has reminded me of what I should have been working on when guests come over. I had to work with Bubblegum where I had my son stop over once in a while...but it was easy knowing I needed to do that...I was afraid Bubby might bite someone that came in. Gibby is so friendly ( thank God ) that I only try to keep him down...instead of working to train him so that he won't go to the door and the guest as they are walking in.  That will be something to work  on right away, maybe by Christmas I can have that under better control.

dyan

AgileGSD

The only dogs I have heard of being drugged are dogs who are too shy or aggressive to be examined and that is not something that is considered ethical.

Or to help maintain focus.

I was not aware they had ADHD meds for dogs LOL. Most are sedatives vs stimulant...INCLUDING the much recommended HERE, Rescue Remedy. I have never ever heard...in all my years being around show folks...using a "drug" for focus or ANYTHING aside from calming or outright knocking out, a dog for whatever reason. Most want a dog "up" for showing and really I have yet to hear of a canine "upper" like Meth/Speed for people.

Go figure. I suppose this is how rumors get perpetuated.

My experience has been (owning large breed dogs with a bad rap) that some people just don't like dogs.  There's nothing I can do to "prove" anything that will change their mind about my dogs or dogs in general.  Expecially when there are babies in the equation, generally the parents would like to enjoy themselves without having to have eyes in the back of their head, constantly keeping the child away from the dogs.  When people just drop in I don't make a huge effort to "move" my dogs or keep them out of the way, but for planned visits and holidays, even though it is my house, I basically go by the "least common denominator", so to speak.  So if one person is uncomfortable with dogs, I keep them away from the guests.  They may have some biases about dogs or make bad judgments about my dogs but I don't really see the occasion as one that is about dogs, it's about being a family and spending time together.

dyan

AgileGSD

The only dogs I have heard of being drugged are dogs who are too shy or aggressive to be examined and that is not something that is considered ethical.

Or to help maintain focus.

There's always calms forte. That and a nice LONG walk/exercise/play time before company comes "should" help with the OMGPEOPLE feeling. 

Once everyone's in and settled, could you bring him into the room on a leash to say hi to everyone. Then put him off in another room with a big bone or something?? A rmb might be more interesting to him. 

If it makes you feel any better, I'm going through sort of the same thing. I have to get my girls calm and adjusted around a person that *I* don't even particularly like and who will be just *looking* for a problem.

 Dyan I am sure that Gibby is now larger than Bugsy and no matter how normal their size is to us - it isn't to others.  I completely understand not wanting to 'put him away' while they are there BUT if he is prone to getting over excited I personally do think it is best for all involved.  Bugsy is a 'hyper' active dog who STILL at age 4 with tons and tons of NILF and other training is not able to completely relax with company.  We've tried over and over and tried every method (other than meds although have used Benadryl) suggested here and he is better but he is still a nuisance.  And it has nothing to do with aggression just way too overjoyed (would be OK if he were about 25lbs).

So I say put him somewhere out of the way, if he is good bring him out to say hi, check out who is visiting and TRY it.  See if he can sit next to DH.  BTW we have a leash that is essentially a 'handle', just a loop.  That is what DH uses.  If he cannot settle than he should go back to where you can contain him.

I hate that we cannot have B around company.  But if the choice is my grandchild and son or having my dog not contained I am going to choose the former.

Good luck with whatever you do - the situation stinks but Gibby won't be harmed by being contained for a day

You know what they say Dyan....an elephant never forgets!  That, and I too have a daughter in law who is less than what I would have wanted for my son AND a dog hater.  Quite honestly, if SHE were coming for a Holiday meal, I'd put my dogs out in the RV away from her so I wouldn't have to deal with the nonsense.

I know that everyone is trying to help.....I honestly believe that.  But, we all train to our own comfort levels, and right now, that's sort of coming back to bite Dyan in the butt since she wants to show the DIL how wonderful dogs can be.

Dyan, honestly, I dont think if you put Gibby in a butlers uniform and he walked upright and served cocktails and orderves that this little brat would see him as anything but a nasty, dirty, germy dog.

Just try to relax, keep Gibby under control as much as possible, and the heck with the snob who's too good for everyone and everything.

I think all dogs should learn to accept short periods of solitude, but larger/more powerful/more maligned breeds, I think it is even more important. 

That's not to say that dogs should always be kept seperate when company come over, just that being allowed to mix is, in our house... not a given.  Sometimes it's not appropriate, depending on the company, or the dog's level of training, or their level of excitement.  Dell is still shut away when FIL comes round if she hasn't had a walk, for example.  It's just easier.  She loves him too much, and can't contain herself.  I don't want her to "practise" jumping on people (which she WILL do if she hasn't been run first, and he WILL reward it!) In her crate, because she's been accustomed to it, she is quiet and she can be rewarded with a chew or what have you for being CALM.  Containing her is, if you like, another way of setting her up to succeed, or at the very least, not allowing her to practise getting it wrong.  We can also let her out when the initial excitement is over, and the calmly eject her again if she cannot/will not restrain herself.

I think a similar approach would work with Gibby in time for NEXT Thanksgiving if you are consistent, and if you can find a barrier that will contain him.

Try not to be super stressed out, likely, if she doesn't like dogs and is uptight about kids/dogs, you aren't going to change that, just ignore it for the most part and try to have a good time. She will get better about bringing the baby along likely, because the baby will get older and less delicate and Gibby will get older and calmer. That's what I do with my relatives that are the same way. I just ignore their dirty looks and so long as the dog isn't bothering them, or the baby/kids, I figure it's ok. Make you DH well aware that you need help between hosting, the food and Gibby and make sure he is helping out. I know my FH forgets sometimes and I have to remind him.

.stacer.

I would leash him to your DH. We did this with Timmy as we have family with small children that aren't fond of dogs as well.

Yep...thats about what I am going to do.  He will be going to daycare for as long as I can leave him there on Wed....that should make him pretty tired...and hopefully the weather is better than they are threatening on Thanksgiving...so I can walk him and keep him more exercised to keep him tired.  We can make Gibby stay away from the baby ( and as always, his mother ) just as we have kept him away from my other sons chi's when they come over and are afraid that Gibby might accidentally hurt them.  But I need lots of help from my DH.

If he should cause a problem ( which he never has when there was company before ;) I will put him away in a room...but not until he deserves to be put away.  For those that have crates that their dog is comfortable in, its great....but Gibby does not.  He was horrible in a crate...not sure if it was because he was locked up or just kept away from people.   But he will not be allowed to bother people...he never is, but remember, this is my family...my sons who love Danes, they love to play and they love to tease...which is NOT good for Gibby since he does not know when to quit if you get him going.

  I am going to guess the worst problem with him will be when they walk in the door... so many good ideas here about keeping him away and letting him by guests after they are in.....I wished that I had done some kind of training on that.....but with these good ideas I will be working with him now. It will be too late for this Thanksgiving....but hopefully if I work hard, Christmas will find a new Gibby. I always have an open  house on New Years Day...hopefully he will be ready for that day.

Thank you to everyone who has given their much appreciated thoughts and opinions....I appreciate your help!

How did it go?

Mechanical Angel

How did it go?

Oh my gosh...I couldn't wait until I could write to say how proud I was of Gibby..... he was so good and we were so proud of him. I was settled down comletely.....he never got yelled at once...didn't even get too many looks from DIL....and at the end of the day..my other son even went home and got his 2 Chi's and let them walk the floor around Gibby.....so they could sniff and all.     WE were trying to keep the Chi's and him together a lot so they were used to eachother...but one of them ( Kiwi ) had to have neck surgery and was in a brace and couldn't even get out of her crate for any time..... she is the friendly Chi....the other Brianna usually barks and growls and snarls at my dogs ( at Bubby originally ) but even she walked around Gibby last night and we had no problems...although for the most part the Chi's spend their time on laps.  We do realize that one slip of the paw could cause a major problem for a teeny tiny Chi, especially Kiwi at this time. 

But....Gibby might not have even gotten yelled at yesterday....THATS a plus.   I mean he did have his nose on the counter a few times...., he did want to sniff the babys toys a few times and a simple " no no Gibby..you get YOUR own toy " was enough. He chewed on his raw bone once we sat down to dinner....brought a blanket to put on the big rug in front of the front door where he likes to lay in the sun......the bone kept him busy the whole time...... of course he was quite noisy chewing on it....... My mother in law kept saying "Dyan.....he's going to break his teeth!" 

I had taken him to play at play days from 9 to 4 the day before.....the girl there said he played the whole time........but he didn't seem tired yesterday until nightime.   I have a remote collar that I put on... with my DH on the other end of that and he said he never used the remote even once...... just was always ready IF needed.  But any time we did a "no no Gibby" or a " HUH" he stopped dead.   It was almost majical....like he had a sixth sense or something like that.    Believe me..between my old mother in law, my sister who had knee surgery and has had a lot of problems with that and her back......and the baby and his mama......I was worried.   I am so proud of him!

 That's wonderful!!!

dyan

It was almost majical....like he had a sixth sense or something like that.  

Dyan, I believe they do!  This is great news and see you were worried for nothing!!