calliecritturs
Posted : 3/5/2008 2:47:08 PM
Just a couple more thots – I think one of the things that I’m finding really critical to learn is how to present everyone at their ‘best’ at a vet’s office. There’s more good in planning than you might know – and I think if you can compartmentalize some of what you learned today you’ll agree.
1. ‘ok’ is such an offhand comment (and often a nervous one – as in that particular situation) -- but it might be a good idea when you reach out your hand to take your vet’s hand something like this:
"Hi, generally Kayla does really well with new people, and maybe I’m an unusual guardian for a little dog, but we do a *ton* of training. So – rather than set you up to have a hard time, I need to let you know first, the word "Okay" is Kayla’s release word. To her it means ‘You can move now" -- so please don’t use that word to settle her - it will make her want to move instead.’ And here is a small bag of treats – she’s had a couple of bad experiences lately at the vet and I’d rather you got the chance to feel like the good guy rather than have anybuddy get stressed!"
Vet thinks "Hmm, she’s not afraid to speak her mind but it’s NICE that she is thinking of me having a good relationship and no misunderstanding with her dog! I like that!"
2. When you make the appt, **ask** who will be seeing her. And then ask for that vet again if it’s a larger practice.
Unfortunately I’ve learned to distrust large practices. I tend to seek out practices where there is only one or two vets - then I get to know them and proceed from there.
Fussy? You betcha. I drive 40 minutes and go past probably 100 vet clinics to go to my ‘regular’ vet. I pay a small fortune to maintain a good relationship with both my regular and holistic vets AND I make sure when something is done at one clinic that the records are sent to both of them just so they have the whole file. I encourage them to talk to each other.
You aren’t even talking about using a regular & holistic vet, I’m just using that as an example of the fact that good relationships with a vet *start* with you being comfortable and gaining trust in a vet (and if you can’t/don’t LEAVE and find another) but the best relationships are ones you work at. Where if the vet ticks you off you call and TALK to them.
That doesn’t mean that this vet practice is worth saving. I suspect it’s not. But learning to set things up so your dog will get along is a big huge hairy deal.
3. Next time you hear them say something that really isn’t going to ‘work’ (I’m back on the repetition of OKOKOK ...) before you lose your cool, SAY something.
"Oops – hang on a second here. We need to drop back and re-group. First – this is SO **not** Kayla. Was a dog euthanized in this room or has a dog been brought in super in trauma in the last little while? She is never *ever* this upset at a vet. .... No, please don’t placate me ... we need to figure out what’s going on here. And ... while I’m at it ... please don’t say ‘ok’ -- it’s her release word and she’s struggling because you’re telling her with your mouth her command to be let go but you are restraining her and ... flatly she’s scared."
You are likely 100% correct that your bf was upset that you’d ‘speak that way to a vet’. People generally don't (and probably should be a bit more constructively forthcoming before disaster looms). When we wait too long to say something (and we're embarassed and upset too), blowing your cool isn’t ultimately going to help at all. So ... say something *before* ... while you can still move forward, pick her up and say "Hang on".
We don't like to waste time, but sometimes simply picking up the dog to say 'You know what -- this isn't going well, I think we'll do this later when she's not so upset and I'm not so prone to saying something impolite.'
Then ... simply vamoose.