Dang -- it's only 11:09. whooo hooo!!! Yes, I'm just really home and JUST setting down. The words today are "very guarded optimism" -- VERY guarded.
Today was a major 'hump day'. Today was likely the MOST dangerous day for his treatment. Because his "20" slipped to 18 by last night, they gave him another half unit of blood last night to bring the hematacrit up to 30. Getting it to STAY is the big deal.
Now, what's changed? They doubled the pred and added the cyclosporin (*both* steroids -- and big doses) so by night it was 'in his system' pretty well. It was 30 this morning which is where they thought it should be. My student (and you'd better know I have already sung this kid's praises to the powers that be -- he's got heart and he's gonna make a GOOD vet in the coming years!) told me this morning this was a big risky day. He also told me he'd written orders for the ICU techs to monitor him all the time. And I know Eric spent a lot of his own time with Billy today.
Then he did something SO special -- I was asking about Billy's mental state and Eric said it seemed good. I told him I was concerned because Billy *does* have abandonment 'issues' and now that he was beginning to 'feel' better that COULD translate to Billy "why doesn't Mom come GET me - I'm *better*!!" I said "If he were home I'd be reading e-mails to him and posts to him -- anything that had good words and HIS NAME in it"
Eric says "if you have something you want ME to read to him, fax it up! I WILL!"
I tell you -- these folks treat the whole dog -- they aren't just an "interesting case" -- and you betcha I did just that. I cut and pasted together 4 emails that had been sent to Billy (yeah, my dogs DO get email and they LOVE to hear their names). I also did a message of my own where I mentioned all the familiar dog names I could list (between this and my other board we've got some darned special folks and darned special dogs you know!!!). You get a lot of "familiar name" mileage out of stuff like "Oliver's Mom, Tonka's Mom, Emma and Teenies Mom ..." so that was quite the paragraph of well wishes he got.
Then about 4:30 the charge vet called me -- she told me right off "Eric and I read Billy's emails to him -- you guys are such good supportive owners". And I'm thinkin, I bet this lady never dreamed when she went to vet school, one of her "therapies" would be reading e-mails to a patient!!
The serious update tho is that as of 4:30 she said "Billy seems to be doing ... good. I've monitored him all day and he continues to look .... good. I see no evidence of back-stepping nor anything negative. Of course he feels better because the blood has made him stronger, but I didn't see any evidence of decline BUT WE won't know til 8:00 tonight when we pull his blood levels. The hope is that it will stay at 30 and not drop much at all. We NEED that to stay there."
I asked sheepishly if there was any way I could know what that blood value was at 8:00 and she said there really wasn't -- but that she WOULD be there, and she promised me if it fell more than a couple of points she WOULD call me.
**I have heard NOTHING**. So this is pretty much a case of no news is really darned good news. It's my sincere hope that it didn't fall at all.
What now? She says IF IF IF his blood holds thru Friday morning without a drop of over 1 point a day, they probably will consider letting him come home Friday.
Big emphasis -- he is NOT out of the woods yet. It's gonna be touch and go like this way past even him coming home. Just about anything can send this plummeting so it's a big fat IF.
I'm still taking it day by day -- I absolutely have to. I can't build myself up falsely. If it bobbles a bit too much he'll be there at least over the weekend. How much steroid can the body take? Dunno. And then even IF this all goes well and he comes home, the road is unbelievably long and dangerous. Because every single time anything changes the body has decisions to make.
But he made it thru today and today WAS fraught with peril. So it's very good that he made it thru such a dangerous day.
Today was probably the most difficult for ME. Yesterday I knew we were still diagnosing and beginning to treat. Today was prayer and calm. I got pretty wound about 7:45 and I had a talk with MY Alpha and reminded myself this is still a matter for constant prayer and good thots, not just "make it ok at 8:00". Because it's that minute by minute stability that is critical.
On the fun side, Eric told me this morning that Dr. Xie's folks were there early (doing acupuncture and brining the new stronger herbs to 'tonify the blood'). I figured knowing it was a Dr. Xie formula that it would be loose ground herbs which can be tricky to take. They CAN be mega bitter and, of course, you don't want to depress the appetite.
Except when you have RICOTTA CHEESE to the rescue. Eric was still giggling that he mixed the herbs in the cheese and "I don't think Billy even let it hit his tongue before it was down the hatch!!! That works SO well!!"
He's also really super interested in how the Eastern medicine is augmenting and working with the regular "Western" veterinary medicine. Like how the acupuncture and herbs are working to keep the blood smooth and unclotted and moving properly while the western med works to tamp down the immune system and make it behave.
Giggle note - my husband (the Scottish accountant, remember? *grin*) said to me tonight, "I guess I need to compose a message to send up to Billy to be read to him tomorrow, hmmm?"
*wink* SOME miracles are more of a surprise than others!! LOL
I do wish I could be more active -- but time is so precious right now, and my connection is being a p.i.t.a. -- David's installed a home network and for some reason it's like sludge. Maybe IT needs a tonic, ya think??
Oh and p.s. -- My little sarcasm of last night about being such a pushy broad -- I just want to make sure you folks realize, that part of my 'credibility' comes with experience. And that's the big thing that a lot of you are missing. Simply because not only am I ... let's see, what's a good word ... "seasoned" (*grin* WELL seasoned), I also have this long history of having done sick dog rescue for a long time, so altho some vets may perceive me as a 'pushy' owner, it's also known that I've dealt with more than my share of health challenges in dogs and that experience brings some credibility.
But I have SOOO been where you guys are. And every time I have to encounter a new vet I begin again. That's one of the reasons I was shaking in my shoes when I brought that yogurt in for Billy. Just because *I* know it'll benefit him, doesn't mean that a bunch of techs and resident vets are going to take kindly to me telling them HOW to give my dog meds. I'm the first to admit here that I'm fortunate this lead vet perceives me as a "switched on owner" rather than a p.i.t.a who is intrusive.
In honesty, learning how to 'say' things so an insecure vet doesn't take offense "Boy you are certainly right that ____________, but just as a thot ... would a culture and sensitivity test be helpful cos I'm definitely willing to pay for it if that information might prove beneficial ... I know in the past ... blah blah ... but you ARE the vet".
A mentor of mine told me once "If you sandwich one part of criticism or something negative in between two parts of PRAISE and positive it can make the negative far easier to swallow".
Sometimes I almost feel manipulative, but then I realize my dog is worth it.
So we're guardedly optimistic tonight. Every minute he continues and stays stable is a victory. But he's got a pretty good shot since he's past a critical day, receiving superb vet care, but even more than that he's got the support and prayers and good thots from a bunch of really super people. Thanks