Hello everyone--
I have survived yet another day at work and another evening getting everyone all settled in. (Sort of--Murphy is zipping around, whining at the cats and looking for any extra food they may have dropped and the daycare said that El might have a UTI so I have that to deal with tomorrow, somehow.)
Sally, first off--no, I wasn't crying. I know! I wasn't even feeling that emotional. I was worried, yes, and trying to take it all in, but here I am with Mr AntiSocial sitting in the corner, shaking (hard), and staring at the ground. Isn't that funny that I wasn't crying (for once since I have cried over Murphy quite a bit)? Instead I was being honest with him--here's a dog who has been left to live in a barn for two years of his life, who lacks basic social skills, who hasn't had any help until last summer for his hips (after I got involved), who hasn't been adopted because of his hips, who once couldn't even wag his tail because of his hips, and here we are, discussing all of it. His quality of life or lack of it, his social skills of lack of it, his pain and his "awareness" of his disability (as much as dog can be) and how all of it has shaped him. And then the guy is teary-eyed and I'm thinking, What happened? I'm sure I could have been more emotional if I'd had given myself a few minutes but I was very focused at this consultation (hey, it was $100 for the consultation alone so I had to be) and wanted to get to the heart of matter.
Anyway, it's kind of funny. I'm about 5 ft 4, weigh about 115, and have blond hair and blue eyes and sometimes I get categorized as, well, a bimbo, but I wasn't about to be categorized yesterday. So, now I can laugh a little, but yesterday? I was nothing but perspiration and determination. (Which cracks me up about myself.)
I really like what everyone had to say. I really did. You all have been great. The place we went to is considered top notch, premier, the best of the best. There is no other facility like this one in Idaho. Both surgeons are board-certified and the head surgeon started this specialty clinic. It's top notch and expensive, too. Really. So, here they also have a premier PT--Murphy's PT. It's the one place you can find a real-deal vet who is also a certified PT (for humans). She's "one of three" in the nation, to quote their brochure and she can grab quite a crowd when she gives lectures. So, they work in tandem.
One thing I was not pleased with was the lack of prep on the surgeon's part. I know they're busy, but goodness, I worked with the Tech on Murphy's history and she said he'd review it and then come in but we had to keep going over it again and again. It kind of set things off weird for me. He couldn't figure out how long it had been since Murph's FHO and it was one little glitch after another for a bit. And then things settled down. I wish he had read more of her report, or, well, that he read it at all. I had to remind him that Murphy had been through 5 weeks of therapy because he kept forgetting. Not that the PT was a cure or anything, but that he did have it and there should be a record of where we started (and his condition) and where we ended.
So, there was that. That and Murphy. OMG Murphy! He wouldn't stand for the surgeon, he just slid to the ground, and if he stood, he was hunched over and all of this led the surgeon, initially, to see Murphy's condition as far worse than it really is. It was so emabarrassing and Murphy can be super stubborn when he's upset. So, that was hard. We walked up and down the hall for the surgeon and initially he thought Murphy seemed strong and fairly normal (enough for an HD dog). Later he told me that Murphy was running on fear and that made him seem stronger. Probably. I told him that Murphy does everything, because he does. He jumps on the bed, on the couch, rips and tears with his sister, walks 2-3 miles a day. All of it.
Sometimes I think Murphy's will to survive and to believe in better things is as large as Alaska. Now that he has a home, he into everything. He even unrolled a roll of toilet paper from the spool the other day. He's really into life and he loves his LIFE. His quality is good, I think, but I worry about turning a blind eye to the reality of his situation. His denegerative disease and his pain.
I won't lie--finding out that he could be grinding is upsetting to me. He said that if Murphy moves it front to back and doesn't swing it out (and I mean SWING it out), then he might not be feeling much at all. It did seem that Murphy's femur has done some regrowth, so perhaps the first surgeon wasn't that bad after all. He (yesterday's surgeon) hoped for a straighter cut, just as you said, Karen. As for what to do, I don't know. I dread his having to be cut open again for that. I really do. The first one was so incredibly painful for him to go through.
One thing I know, thanks to Sally, is that this isn't an emergency, and I'm telling you, it was my mantra yesterday. Over and over I told myself that and because if it, I wasn't about to be pushed anywhere fast. And, truthfully, he didn't push.
My biggest concern centers on two things (as I told my best friend at work today over lunch--she has no dogs, but she has kids and she knows that my hairy kids are like, well, my kids, so she's a great friend):
1--Because of his FHO'd right hip, his right leg is not exactly equal in length to his left one. That causes some swaying when he walks, and it also causes him to, perhaps, not use it as much--it's shorter and it would mean more compromise on Murphy's body. I worry about a THR when I have this issue already. Would they lower his left hip or will this be an issue? I hate for his right leg to become useless to him. Right now, he is using it more and more, I can tell, but if it's going to always be shorter, he won't every shoot for total use. I figured that FHOing the left hip may shorten it, too (should shorten, the surgeon says), thereby making him more equal that way. I didn't discuss this with the surgeon. He did tell me about the plastic "ball" wearing out and wearing through and this and that, so I know that. I just worry about one leg being shorter and perhaps missing the boat on making the other leg match.
2--Murphy's personality is not an easy one to deal with. I worry about having any type of surgery that might lay him up for long. He is very clingy with me and very connected to me and very worried, panicky, nearly all the time, about his life. It's like he still worries about staying with me, like he'll be shipped off. He's not a purebred from a family who socialized him well. He's been neglected and abandoned and most likely has been abused. For a long time, he growled at me when I'd give him a kiss on his forehead. He still won't take things directly from my hands--he has to do that from an angle. And when I tell Ellie that "I'm going to get you" (meaning she has to find the first toy she can and then play keep away with me), he tells me off. He doesn't like me stomping my feet in play, or getting close to his face, raising my voice (and I'm kind of a loud person anyway, so I'm amazed he can stand me like he does), or touching him from behind.
Here's an example: I have beds all over my house. No, really. And fluffy wonderful ones, too. I have one under the table becuase that is where Murphy was happiest when I first brought him home. Well, so I'm walking toward the table this morning, carrying the newspaper, just normally carrying it, not balled up, not rolled up, just carrying it, scanning the front page as I walk, and he freaked out. Bad. He scrambled up and around the table, ran into the living room, and then came right back in at me (not charging, just walking quickly) and began barking at me. LOUDLY. And with some force to his voice. And so I put the paper on the table and said, "Hey, Buddy. What?" And with that bit, he started to calm down. But he wouldn't come all the way in to see me, either. That took some extra time.
But, that said, maybe in a year he'll be better. Maybe not. I told my coworker today and that the surgeon was great at telling me the happy purebred with HD story, but not the very unsocialized (and he is) shelter dog with emotional issues and with HD story. You know what I mean? I can't imagine Murphy being crated and being made to rest for 8 weeks. He's skittish and standoffish and maybe in a year he'll change. Maybe not. So, there is that weighing on me, too. On the other hand, I can't imagine Murphy not having his strongest leg to help him after FHO, either.
It was funny that when I was leaving he was saying that if he had to face this situation, he'd go THR and I agreed that it has always seemed like a fine choice (which I believe, too), and then I said, "But you probably wouldn't get a dog with HD. You'd probably have him tested and certified before getting him and getting attached to him." Of course I was laughing and he was too, but he nodded. I'm sure he knows how difficult this can be, but more so when you're attached.
Anyway, now I'm rambling and I should be finishing up a work project and going to bed so that I can get El in for her UTI test.
It never stops . . .