Goodbye Mr. Bear... 11-16-06 - 3-2-09

I'm so very sorry.  But, I do think you made the right decision at the right time.  And yeah, I do think he was telling you it was time.

Run free big guy.  Say hello to a few of my guys.

Tina - I'm very sorry and I know how difficult this must've been. You gave Bear the best life possible and although it was too short, I hope your good memories bring you some peace.

Run free Bear

 Run free Bear!  No more seizures just lots of toys and squirrels and other great dogs to be with.

Tina I am so sorry for your loss but you did sooooooooooo much for your big sweet guy and he knew that and also knew that you would let him be free at the right time.  I admire all that you did for him and hope to have the fortitude and strength you showed if it should be called for.

Thank you for taking such good care of him.

When I made the appointment yesterday, I wasn't 100% sure euthanizing him was right.  The doctor consulted with me for about 45 minutes, though at first I almost felt like he was pressing me to keep trying.  When I said this was taking a huge emotional toll on me, I think he *got* what I was saying.  The more he spoke of the side effects of added meds and the minimal shot we had at keeping Bear stabilized, that helped me decide.  This was the doc at my regular office who had been working with us and the TCM vet.  Anyway, he said he hadn't treated any seizure dogs where combination of Eastern & Western medicines was being used, that from a Western med. perspective, he's only ever added more meds until either the seizures stop or the dog dies from the toxicity of the meds.  He wasn't a jerk about it, just completely frank because he didn't know.  And he reminded me that we could do all these things and never stop the seizures.

I had the vet sedate Bear before the final shot, so I had about 10 minutes of him resting peacefully on a blanket on the floor with his head in my lap as I sat with him.  It was probably the first time he truly relaxed in 2 days.  He looked so sweet, laying there as he would in front of the recliner at night, just kinda flopped on his side, feet & legs stretched out.  I hope he heard me whispering in his ear before he passed.

Tina, I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to watch an animal suffer, and have to make that heart wrenching decision. Don't you ever doubt yourself for a second - you gave him the best life you could, and most importantly, you gave him your love. (((hugs))

Run free Bear

sharismom

I hope he heard me whispering in his ear before he passed.

sharismom

I hope he heard me whispering in his ear before he passed.

Run free, Mr. Bear.

Tina, we are so sad to read about Bear.  Take care of yourself. 

Lori

 I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry...run free, Bear!

Mr. Bear knew peace and loving words and arms as he passed over to the bridge.  He is there now, running and tossing his toys in the air and you gave him that peace, good for you.

((( Hugs ))) to you Tina, you are very brave to make this kind of sacrifice for him.

 I was very sad to see this, but I know you did the best you could for him - no one could have loved him more than you did...

I am so sorry - I just saw this.  {{{{HUGS}}}}

I'm so sorry.  I haven't been on much lately and I just saw this.  How sad.  I'm sure Bear knew you did everything you could. 

Run Free Bear.  Enjoy the Bridge with Shari.

Thanks Lisa & Candace.  It was very hard, but today I feel a little more at peace.  For the past 6 months, I've worried ever single day that when I was at work he would have an episode and I'd come home to find him severely injured from falling over or stopped breathing.  I live very close to my job, but even being able to go home at lunch was not enough, in my mind.  I limited my trips out other than work unless I could get the pet sitter or arrange it so I'd always be able to get home and check on him, give him his meds.  The last thing I wanted was for him to go through the seizures alone.  Even though I couldn't stop them, he knew I was there during and after.  And I hardly wanted the pet sitter to have to deal with something like a seizure episode.

Last night was the first I'd slept in several days.  Mostly because I live alone, I sleep with one eye open, but I was also constantly listening for Bear because I was worried about him going into seizures (typically, they'd start at night). 

Maybe I didn't do or try everything, but I did balance everything I was doing (even if I didn't post about it) with what progress we did or did not accomplish and look at his overall quality of life before I decided anything.  I have a hard time forgiving myself, but in this case, I think, in his best interests, I did the right thing.