Dog Community

my Java is gone

Posted : 7/20/2007 9:45:19 AM

My dearest sweet feline boy, Java, suddenly passed away on Wednesday July 18 at 7:45 am. He was only 6 years old. I woke up to him screaming in pain, paralyzed in the rear - both legs and no bladder control and panting heavily. When I placed him in the carrier to take him to the e-vet, he passed away. The vet says it was almost definitely an aortic thrombosis, a blood clot that traveled to the aorta right by the spine. He says it happens in cats that have mild heart problems such as a murmur, but it has never turned up in a health exam.

Java was an ebony Oriental Shorthair, very vocal, extremely loving, interactive and intelligent. When he would shake his head his ears would make a flapping sound like a dog. When he would jump down from a high place, he would make a squeak sound when he hit the floor. He was very jealous of my other cat and my dog when I would give them attention. I haven't been giving him as much attention as I probably should have since I got my dog, Zoe. Zoe needed a lot of attention to get her housebroken and keep her from chewing on everything in the house. It took attention away from Java. I feel really bad about it. I miss him horribly

It almost makes me not want to ever get another pet, I get so emotional when they die and I have a hard time dealing with it. I have a hard time reading this section on the dog forum, I break down in tears every time.

I miss him so much [

]

IrishSetterGrl

Posted : 7/20/2007 12:28:40 PM

jenn,

I am so sorry about your sweet cat Java, and the grief you are feeling now. You have no reason to feel bad/beat yourself up. When our babies pass on, we often say "what should I have done differently?", but what we should focus on are the happy memories worth keeping in our hearts forever, and I bet you have a lot of those with Java...you're in my thoughts, as is Java....Rest In Peace Java...your mommy loves you very much.

cakana

Posted : 7/20/2007 12:32:50 PM

Jennifer - I'm so sorry about Java and I know how this pain makes you feel that you never want to experience it again. It really will ease in time and please don't have regrets about focusing on Zoe more recently. You couldn't have known and it wouldn't have changed anything. I'm sure Java knew how much you loved him. I'm really sorry you're going thru this but please know that you did give Java 6 wonderful years. Hugs to you. Run free Java [sm=angel.gif]

ron2

Posted : 7/20/2007 7:09:49 PM

Rest, Java. And enjoy the fresh fish that fisherman near the bridge leaves out.

Jenns, I know it hurts bad. It hurt bad when I had Misty pts at 17. But here I am with Shadow and Jade, knowing full well, their time will come, too, eventually. But their existence in our lives makes us so much richer.

From DW and I, a big hug.
From Shadow, a couple of slobbers right on the lips (he's got impeccable timing).
From Jade, a head-butt and a purr that she does with a subtle vocalization in it.

spiritdogs

Posted : 7/20/2007 7:42:35 PM

I will echo ron - Jenns, I know it hurts bad. It hurt bad when I had my heart dog, Dancer pts at 17 1/2. But here I am with Sioux, Maska, and Sequoyah, knowing full well, their time will come, too, eventually. But their existence in our lives makes us so much richer. Rest well, Java - you got the best gift a kitty could get. You were loved.

jenns

Posted : 7/20/2007 8:23:19 PM

Thank you guys so much, you have really helped me during this very difficult time. It's so hard not to think about him every time I walk into my bedroom when I am so used to seeing him perched on top of the dresser, right on the cable box where it was nice and warm and high up. But my life would have been less without him. I have to just remember that and think about the happy memories we had.

Now I really need to get some sleep instead up being up for hours, crying every night. Thank you so much, again.

calliecritturs

Posted : 7/20/2007 10:50:23 PM

jenns -- I think that expectation of seeing them here or there where they used to like to lie -- it's one of the most difficult things. And it takes a long time to re-train ourselves.

One thing that helps me is every time I experience that "oh, he's not there" thing -- I try to turn to a memory that is a good one. Instead of feeling bad because he isn't there, I use it simply as a reminder to MAKE myself bring up memory after memory -- almost like "Ok you aren't *there* now but you are surely in MY HEART now and forever!!"

ChancesMama

Posted : 7/21/2007 5:46:11 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. [

] We lost our 11 1/2 year old rottweiler on the 8th of this month so I know how you feel. Do you have any pictures of your baby? I've never seen his breed of cat and would like to what he looked like.

JoAnnDe

Posted : 7/21/2007 8:28:46 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. It always hurts so so much - and when its sudden and we haven't had time to prepare ourselves mentally it really takes a toll. Please don't beat yourself up with "what if's" .... I know thats ALOT easier said then done; try to redirect your thoughts to the good times. Java was with you for a reason - sometimes the reasons are unclear, but know in your heart that you gave him a wonderful home and lots of love, so many cats never really get to experience that - he was blessed to have you.
And please don't let his passing keep you from loving another - there are many furbabies out there that need love. i know its very cliche, but the saying "its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is oh so true - the very very very many happy times offset the pain in time.

dyan

Posted : 7/22/2007 8:03:03 AM

It almost makes me not want to ever get another pet, I get so emotional when they die and I have a hard time dealing with it. I have a hard time reading this section on the dog forum, I break down in tears every time.

I understand this feeling...I have felt that way a few times. Its normal. But remember the happy life that you shared with Java.. He was sooo loved and he loved you so,,, and that is what you have to dwell on now. He is happy now.. he doesn't know the pain you feel with him gone..so you don't have to worry about him...just yourself. I hope you can be at peace knowing he had such a good life and did not suffer with a lingering illness. Hopefully everyday your hurt will lessen a little. Be strong!

jenns

Posted : 7/22/2007 8:04:39 AM

thanks for your kind words Calliecritter, ChancesMama and JoAnnDe. I think I'm now at a point where I can think about and share stories of him instead of dwelling on his death alone.

ChancesMama, here is a picture of my boy - I chose this picture because it is typical of his personality, always wanting attention! Basically, oriental shorthair cats are siamese cats without the "points", meaning the coloring that you normally think of with siamese. He is a very sleek, lanky body type with big ears and a wedge shaped head. Also, note that his little "fangs" stick out over his lower jaw, just one adorable little feature he had. [

]

Luvntzus

Posted : 7/22/2007 10:00:50 AM

He sounds like a really special kitty and I'm sorry you lost him so soon. I had something similar happen with my Persian cat in 2003. He was more like a dog, ALWAYS wanting to be on my lap following me around constantly. Right before his 2nd birthday a myriad of health problems cropped up and he had to be put to sleep. It's devastating to have them taken away so young. [

] Over time the pain eases. I'm sure Java is waiting for you at the rainbow bridge and I'm sorry again that you lost him.

tacran

Posted : 7/22/2007 6:57:17 PM

What a beautiful cat! I've never seen one like that before. Java was a stunning boy, and I'm sure he's left a very huge hole in your heart and in your home. I'm not sure what's worse -- losing them suddenly when you have no time to prepare or say goodbye the way you'd like to, or having lots of time to prepare and say goodbye, but watching them fail and no longer be the same furbaby they once were. We lost our dog after a several weeks of health issues, and either way, the heartbreak is unbearable.

I'm so sorry you're facing the empty spots where Java once was. When I'm overcome with sadness when I see those spaces (even 18+ months since our dog's passing), I think to myself, "he's still here, I just can't see him the same way I used to." I like to think his spirit is with me always. I hope you find the days a little easier one at a time. Take care.

jenns

Posted : 7/23/2007 2:29:10 PM

Thank you dyan, luvntzus and and tacran, your words help a lot. I am finding it easier to cope with the loss with each day. He was a very special boy and I will think about his spirit always being here in the house.

Tashmoo5454

Posted : 7/23/2007 3:59:33 PM

What a very beautiful boy Java was. I am so sorry. That is the hardest thing, knowing you love your animals so much, and also knowing that you will have to lose them some day too. Just love them as much as you possibly can while they are here to warm our hearts.

my Java is gone

Rainbow Bridge

my Java is gone