In Honor of Bubblegum (and Dancer)

When we lost our Charlie 5 years ago,it was very unexpected. Within 6 days, he went from a healthy dog to gone.We were devastated and in shock.Our daughter sent us flowers in his memory and I thought that was very thoughtful. As everyone can see, one our dogs is black and white,my beloved Maizy. There is something special about a black and white dog--I always loved the way Bubblegum looked in that picture. I remember Drizzle looked so special too.I don't want to think about Maizy's passing,as I don't know if I will be able to handle it.I feel Diane's pain and pray for her. We do heal in time, but sometimes it takes longer than others , because some dogs just touch our hearts more.

First I want to say to Dyan that I am so very sorry for your loss.  You did the very best for your girl.

When I lost Shari, the best b & w dog in my universe, my good friend Robin was with me through the whole thing.  She drove us to the vet, was with us in the room, and helped me bury Shari at her family's farm.  I can never thank her enough.

Run free, Miss Bubblegum...

Nice tribute Anne!

I've been very saddened by the passing of Bubblegum too and felt like I've known her and Dyan personally for such a long time. I'm always very sad when one of us suffers a loss like this, but it's even more difficult with some.

When we lost our last dog, Jake, to cancer, I hadn't found this forum yet. The only person who really seemed to understand how deep the pain can be was my husband. He'd had Jake since he was a puppy and losing him broke his heart. We leaned heavily on each other thru that time and I was grateful to have someone to share my grief with.

I know that one day I will face that kind of heartbreak again and it's comforting to know that I will be able to share my grief with some wonderful people on this forum.

Run free Bubblegum and Dancer

Dyan so very sorry to hear about Bubblegum.  How wonderful though that you have friends that feel your pain.  We lost our Shadow to cancer in January.  We were very lucky to have a vet and his staff that loved our boy as much as we did.   When the time came to set him free we were tapped out due to the bills we had already accumulated.   They paid for a private cremation and returned him to us in the most beautiful box so he could be with us.  We were so overwhelmed and grateful that we have such a caring group of supporters.  I turned back to this forum after not being in touch for a year when Shadow was diagnosed, I received a great deal of support.  After we lost him everyone here was so kind.   The loss was so hard on both hubby and me.  It was hard to console each other we would just tear up or cry a the very mention of his name or just the quiet of the house.  A very special person, Callie, helped me though some very bad  days.   She explained Rainbow Bridge to me, and kept in touch with me while I grieved.  Thanks to Callie and all the others and our vet and his staff we are celebrating Shadow's life, not mourning his death.  I will pray that you will come to that day of celebration soon.

Dancer, Shadow and all the fur babies at Rainbow Bridge will take good care of Bubblegum.

I've been sad all day since I got the news of Bubblegum this morning.  Reading Dyan's recent posts brings me right back to the heartbreak I went through in the final weeks of my precious Tonka's life just over two years ago.

What I remember most was how overwhelmed I was by the number of cards, emails, flowers and phone-calls we received from people -- friends & neighbors were more supportive than some of our family members.  We didn't even receive that kind of response when my FIL died a couple years before. One card in particular was really special -- neighbors who we knew only casually (from meeting on dog walks a few months before Tonka died) have twin daughters who were about 10 at the time.  They hand-made us a sympathy card that included drawings of Tonka as an angel, playing fetch with God on a bed of clouds.  God had a smiling face, throwing a stick, and Tonka had wings and a halo.  Even describing it now makes me cry.  We keep it with our other mementos of Tonka.

But by far, the most important support I received was from the people on this forum, who tolerated my rambling postings in the weeks prior to his death and for weeks after.  I printed all the posts, private messages and emails I received from members and have re-read them several times.  An extra special gift was a beautiful photo collage Lori (willowchow) made for me with photos I'd sent her.  To have people who understood what I was feeling and not make me feel weird for needing to express my grief was (and still is) deeply appreciated.  I came here for support long after people in my "real" life had moved on.  The only way I can show my gratitude is by trying to offer condolences to people like Dyan, Anne, and others here who have lost their dearly loved pups since Tonka.  I like to think that Tonka has met some really special new friends at the Bridge since he's been there -- dogs like Dancer and Bubblegum, Foxy, FeFe, Nikki, Shari, Mick, and so many others who've I've asked him to look for.  I tell him those are his "forum friends," and that they can keep each other company until we're together again.

Sometimes the grief process lasts a long time -- after I lost my Prissy (she lived to be almost 21, and I was in a terribly unhappy time in my life when I lost her anyway) I grieved for years.  I had other dogs but I just could NOT put it all to rest in my heart. 

The day she died I was with her.  My ex called and told me she'd had another stroke and I came home.  We were SO broke at the time that I literally didn't have the gas to go to a vet and beg them to euthanize her (we had NO money -- and I literally didn't have the gas to get there). 

I knew she wasn't in pain -- she was beyond just 'elderly' -- and had actually had several strokes in a row.  She was just incapacitated and I was unbelievably grief-stricken.  I just held her all day and sobbed.

Today I realize it was the worst thing I could have done to her.  She already was convinced she couldn't 'leave me' because she knew how much I depended on her.  So she just "Lingered".  For hours.  *sigh*

It was, without doubt, the worst day of my life seeing her clinging to life and me not able to do a thing about it. Wishing that God would just take her ... and yet her she lie, in my arms, for hours. 

Finally at    5:15 my boss called me to tell me he took the phone off forward (thankfully it hadn't rung all afternoon).  I had left her on the sofa literally long enough to answer the phone ... less than 15 seconds. But when I got back she was gone.

I was beyond consolement.  HOW could I have failed her in those last seconds ... HOW could she have gone in just those few seconds when I *had* to answer the phone.  HOW HOW HOW?

That nightmare day was likely the biggest reason I couldn't get closure.  Several years later a friend and I were talking online.  It was when I was going thru my divorce (and having a tough time dealing with that despite the fact that my ex was highly abusive) but I was convinced I had somehow "failed" altho I knew I had not.

Somehow we got on the subject of grief generally & I mentioned how I still grieved for Pris.  After I told him the story, Lou said to me "but wait -- don't you see?  You didn't fail her ... SHE waited until that one moment when you let go of HER so that she could leave ... she waited for you to do what you did so she *could* leave you.  You had to release her before SHE could go.  (Just like I had to 'let go' of my guilt about my ex, in fact ... )

Even years after she was gone, here she was still 'teaching' me things. But what Lou did for ME that day changed my life.  I was able to then process that sometimes "letting go" is a GOOD thing and a healthy thing. 

I'll forever be in Lou's debt .. and it's one of the reasons I try to help others.  To "keep it going" as it were ...

Oh my gosh! I am just getting up courage to read this section......and Anne...how very dear and sweet it is of you to start this thread. What an honor to Bubblegum. Thank you so very very much.

How sad,,,our black and whites are gone Anne.  I cry everyday....many times. I wonder if I will ever stop. Everything reminds me of my Bubblegum. I know that is the way with Dancer and all the rest of the "lost" dogs. Anne you were there right at the beginning of Bubblegum and me....you helped me save her...I almost gave her up when I wasn't sure I could manage her. Thank God for you and a few others who gave me every tip that they knew. She turned out to be my heart....maybe all that extra attention and care of trying to learn all about her did that for me.

I will always be indebted to you all. All the wonderful PMs and posts from so many of you here on this forum. I can't believe it. You have all been so supportive and it really does help get thru this terrible time. So many of you have taken extra time out to PM me with words that mean so much. words of pure understanding... I appreciate it so much, you'll never know.

Anne,,thank you again for this wonderful honor and tribute to Bubby and Dancer!

I am astonished. I didn't know about Bubblegum passing and I am sorry to hear that and sorry for finding out so late.

I, too, have had a pet pass on. And family and friends, too. It can hurt badly, either way, in different ways. My old cat, Misty, had drastic kidney failure at the age of 17 and I sent her on to the Bridge, 2-17-05. She was with me through a lot of stuff.

May you find peace in her beautiful afterlife and in the joy she brought you and us through your recollections of her. I always thought of you guys as a match. You are an elegant lady and so was she.

Run free, Bubblegum.

 I'm so sorry to hear about Bubblegum and Dancer.  My condolences to you both. 

My vet helped when Rush passed, he'd been treating him since the vet had just started his practice and he cried with us, that meant something to me.  Also, I was set to attend a scholarship reception the weekend after Rush passed.  When I called the scholarship director and told her I just couldn't attend she was extremely understanding and told me of her own pet who had recently passed and that she understood completely.  A few days later I even got a really nice card and note from her.  I'd never even met this woman and yet, she was one of few who marked Rush's passing with a card acknowledging my pain.

My thoughts are with you both during the difficult time that comes after a loved pet passes.   

Thank you to so much!

What a nice thing for you to say Ron.....I am PROUD to be cosidered a match to Bubby,,,she was some girl.

dyan