The choice was made today to let Nikki go over the
bridge.
She was in kidney failure, along with other issues that have cropped up
that I
just cannot go into right now. My Mom called me today at work in tears to help
her make
a decision on what to do. I don’t want this thread to be about that
though, but about remembering this little dog who stole all our hearts
from day
1 of bringing her home.
Nikki was 6 months old and had been brought to the
shelter
because her previous owner’s older dog didn’t like the puppy and she was supposedly "impossible to house train". She
was a quiet, unassuming little girl looking far too cute to be behind
that wire
door and concrete floor. As my Mom was signing the adoption paperwork,
several
other people called the shelter asking to adopt her, but she was ours.
Or
rather, as we were soon to find out, she adopted us and we became her
humans. I
remember vividly the shelter explaining she’ll need some time to adjust,
she may be wary or unsure. Riiiight. The first thing she did was hop on
all of
our laps give a million kisses, jump up on the couch, look very pleased
as if
to say “Yes, yes this will do quite nicely” She was always a really
good dog. She was house trained pretty much from day 1, always upbeat,
silly and more than a bit goofy. She learned tricks in a flash as well. She had an attitude a
mile
wide though. Just ask my Mom about Nikki snubbing me if I wouldn’t give
in to her charms!!! Or, she would just talk back. She always had to get
the
last word!! She hated thunderstorms and when I lived at home would
always
seek me out as her “protector”. Like the time the thunder boomed
and she bashed the bathroom door open and jumped up on my lap while I
was on
the toilet!!! She heard all my teenage angst and kept my secrets. She
got
to go to school with me, since I went to an agricultural high school.
Throughout her life, she would always get really excited to see a school
bus,
long after I had graduated and moved out of the house! When I groomed,
she often
came with me to work too. Even last year at the age of 14, if you asked
if she
wanted to go to work or school she would get all excited! She just
expected
(and usually got lol) that everyone absolutely adore her. She did
agility for
fun with me at school, but when she was done she would ALWAYS stop at
the top
of the A frame and demand to be picked up.
She had spunk and energy to spare. She may have
been a Shih
Tzu, but she was no dainty girl. She’d rather traipse through the woods
first and THEN be pampered in comfort later on (best of both worlds
after all).
She had so many endearing quirks, like running and then dive bombing
into the
rug to rub her face after eating (she had to get that running start
first!),
the way she talked back if she didn’t feel like doing something you
asked
her to do, or the weird head-but/back leg dance she would do while
eating her
meals.
Above all else though, she was my Mom’s girl
through
and through. There was no mistaking who her special human was. My Mom
took her
everywhere and forever made Nikki associate the phrase with “Mom’s
home” with going and getting a toy (for months my Mom would always bring home a
new
toy for her after we got her lol, hence the association!). As upset as I
am, I
cannot even imagine how she is feeling. This decision wasn’t easy for
her
at all and she wanted me to make it for her. I did tell her what I would
do,
which was to help Nikki cross peacefully because the treatments she
would need
to undergo had no guarantee and Nikki was in incredibly bad shape
(crying in
pain) and her system seemed to be shutting down. Nikki was a HUGE part of her life. But, I also told her to call
the vet
back and really talk with them. When they first called with the test results,
she was
obviously very upset and didn’t hear most of what the vet was saying. I
told her to think about the options, ask them what they thought her
chances of
recovery were and the quality of life she would have and make an
informed
decision on what was ultimately best for Nikki. My Mom didn’t want to
keep her alive for the sake of doing so, if all enjoyment were gone for
her –
but nor did she not want to try something if it would mean a good chance
of
Nikki bouncing back. Nikki's pain, discomfort and the thought that even after all the treatment, she likely was never going to have the same quality of life made the decision for her. I only wish I could be at my Mom's to give her a hug and be there for her right now.
My significant other once made me a video of Nikki
when she
and my Mom visited with us while we were living in VT. I have no idea
where
that DVD went after we moved to NH, but I’m hoping I can find it or
hoping that he still has the video saved to his computer and can burn a
new
DVD. I want to give that to my Mom. It’s a cheesy video starring Nikki
(plus me in a few scenes and I NEVER even knew he was filming at all
during
their visit) set to Billy Idol’s Dancing with Myself lol. I know my Mom
would love to have that as a memento. I hope it isn't lost or damaged.
Nikki is at the bridge now. I'm hoping she gets to meet my Mom's heart dog Sheba. Sheba can tell Nikki all about my Mom when she was a kid, a teenager and later married with two small children. Nikki can tell Sheba all about my Mom in her later years. Then, I really hope there's a nice grassy area, with a tree providing shade for Nikki. She loved being outside, laying on the grass in the shade with a nice breeze keeping things cool for her. Throw in a few squeaky toys and I know she'll do alright where she is now.