Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Well, no, but we can pass the hypothetical bong your way....

After sifting through 10+ pages, I only have one thing to say to you people......

 THIS is totally going to be my new siggy:

espencer

"welcome to the forum, you are stupid, do what i say"

 Having spent a good deal of time in the Haight Ashbury - if you've got the brownies, why do you need the bong?

And by the way, my sheep very much resent the implications of about 395 pages back.

The salon is open, ladies!

[Patrick just figured out what the problem was with my computer and this forum, so I'm indulging in some catching up I couldn't do when I had to wait 30 seconds for each page to load]

brookcove

 Having spent a good deal of time in the Haight Ashbury - if you've got the brownies, why do you need the bong?

The bong is a backup.  You know, just in case the brownie maker isn't very good.....

WOW!!! Seems like we're getting both support and enabling...After the week I've had I'm ready to go to Phila to get some *special* ingredients and indulge...it's been over 19 years since those days and boy what I wouldn't give today!!!

I guess I'll long for the thoughts of special brownies and passing a bong...it does make me feel a litter better just imagining...

carry on

 Sally...no you may not use that siggy!! Behave missy!!

Ummm guys??  Jaime's gonna think she's a thread killer if we don't keep chatting......

So....dude.  Got anymore brownies?

You guys should see the great lizzard/crock tale that Jackie sent me!

Glenda, was that the funniest thing you ever saw, dude?  My sister sent me that, we were partners in crime at one time. LOL

OMG!  YES!  It was funny as heck.  I forwarded to my oldest son and he rolled on the floor laughing as well! 

I don't want to cause arguements again but here are my thoughts.   

My thing is that online I feel like I really cannot give any type of "real" advice because I really don't know the person, the situation or both sides of the story, the history, etc.  I'm not going to take on the responsibility of helping someone change when I'm not sure what's really happening.  My real life friends know I'm extremely honest with them. 

Sure, I've formed some opinions based on things I've read from people but that's all they are.  I'm not positive I'm right.  So, why would I post based on only assumptions?  And, frankly, I'm here for education on dogs and some relaxation during the day.  I'm not here to give advice that I have no business giving to someone. 

Guess what?  Regardless of what ANY of us thinks, there are forum rules that we need to respect if we wish to post here.  This is a PRIVATE forum and the powers that be get to make these calls and WE get to respect them or move on.

I tend to be blunt.  I've been "corrected" by other forum members.  Oh well.  I'm an adult and if I post my brutally honest opinion, I deserve what I get.  This forum is about supporting and helping one another and we all need to do so in a manner that isn't devastating to anyone else.  I CAN post my brutally honest opinion in a manner that isn't unkind, and if I don't take the time to do that...well, that's MY bad.

If I think a poster is a flipping idiot or acting like one, I have the option of keeping my mouth shut and not posting at all.  We all do.

IMO, this thread was started because the OP was corrected and felt that they should not have been. It was never about supporting or enabling. They didn't feel the correction was fair. I wonder if they thought what they said was fair to that person? My guess is they didn't really care about the other persons feelings, but theirs sure mattered when they were hurt.

This forum has rules, and we have to abide by them, both good and bad, is it always fair? no, but you take a chance when you touch the keyboard and sprout out how you really feel. Just because you can say it, does not mean you have the right to.

I always feel that people who get so offended when corrected on using bad language, or baiting or taking their own feelings to a forum are projecting it from their own real life situations or just like drama. I have to wonder how many would actually say what they say here to someone face to face. If you won't do it to your neighbor, why oh why would you do it here? Oh yeah, no consequences and no responsibility.

There is nothing in the rules that say all manners need to be left at the door. People who post bitter, biting posts here IMO are bitter angry people in real life. I can say that because I am not saying it to someone directly, and I avoid those people, because there is nothing I can do personally to change that attitude.

The fact is that here or any other forum, unless you know that person in real life, you don't know a dang thing about them but what they have told you. People lie. People exaggerate. People troll. Most people are honest, but not all.

And for the record, I have been nasty a few times when I let my temper get the better of me, but I finally learned to just walk away and come back when I am calmer.

lynnsmith

Yes, I understand.  However, not all forums are about general topics and some do involve topics that have to do with actions that could lead to injury or harm or even death to others.  I guess nothing ever happens in this forum that could be injurious to anyone or anything and everyone agrees.  That is good. 

Sure things happen that lead to injury or harm to others through enabling, denial, personnal motivation and agendas on dog boards.

I watched in horror on another board when the advice of the wrong method for the wrong dog and the support of an owner's denial by a bunch of "crusaders" directly lead to a child being bitten in the face. Red flags everywhere before it happened. I got attacked for speaking up because it wasn't what the owner and her enablers wanted to hear.

I don't post a whole lot, but I've done a lot of comparative reading on the dog boards these past five years as to what often leads to successes, failures, and tragedies. I could write a book...

Yep, kids get bitten and dogs get put down all of the time through bad forum advice and the support of owner denial. And, most of the time I see it coming after only reading a few of the owner's posts, and the responses.