I put the smackdown on espencer

 Great job, Gina!! :o)  Well done!

I'm sorry he was baiting you, in particular in that thread... what a real jerkwad he is.  We all know that you did the best thing possible for Buckwheat and all support you 100%.

okay so I was speaking with Jaime and she said, if he was being rude...he should be edited, but I shouldn't do so obviously because it was directed at me.

I'd like input on the whole thing from everyone if possible? If his new hobby is trolling Rainbow Bridge for posts he can analyze and ask rude questions then we'd have a problem. He's done it twice...but we agreed the first one was rude, but not editable...but Jaime said rude is always, editable...and looking at the rules..rudeness is mentioned. So now, I am confused and would like a conflab re: rudeness in general and these posts in particular. Just when everyone has the time.

Thanks!

 OK -- well if that's what Jaime said, I'll be happy to edit it. I'll do it right now.

I was always under the rule of thumb someone had to be essentially calling someone ELSE a name to require editing (more or less) like "you are an idiot..." or whatever.

But, I certainly don't like his new hobby.  It's beyond rude... I'll go do it now.

I guess that's kinda what we need to discuss...what IS rude? LOL. Blatant is always easy...but the rules say "Whether it is blatant or covert, we will not tolerate rudeness, insults or personal attacks"

emphasis mine...what is covert? I guess that would be more what this is. We know espencer and his history and his tendencies. So in essence we know he was looking to start something, maybe even get people upset on purpose...

Jaime's point was that when we DON'T edit things like in that thread it sets a precedent where the poster is now, going to push farther next time...

I am not sure if that is true but I think in some cases it is...well now I think on it I suppose that very thing has happened before when we've not edited "covert" rudeness or personal attacks...obliquely put, implied sorta...

*sigh* I dunno...

 Taken care of and this was the PM I sent:

 Espencer:

Your posts in Rainbow Bridge (re: Maggie & Buckwheat) have been removed.  How incredibly rude and of poor taste to have posted something like that in such a sacred area where people are greiving.  The time to question someone has come and gone, and this type of behavior will *not* be tolerated.

This is 2 edits, I'll check, if you have a 3rd on record you will be placed on suspension by Admin.  Otherwise, on your 3rd suspension you will have a suspension.  Upon your 3rd suspension you will be banned.

Please have more tact in the future than what you've shown here these past few days.

Regards,

Lani - Moderator

Does anyone know where he sits on edits?  I'm in a bad mood and PMS'ing.... he got the brunt of it.  But, I can't say it was misplaced!

I have no idea... the problem with the rules is as others have stated, they are subjective.  There is no LINE, because each of us is different and each of us read things and interpret things differently.  So, I guess we just do the best we can?

I'm sorry again about Espencer, Gina. He was out of line.

Ok ladies for all involved the easiest is to be simple. Edit the post...add the remark "Edited to remove rude remarrks/comments"

 You shouldn't have to send notice to anyone unless they are getting a sit down/suspension. If you are editing and commenting everyone knows why and how and that you are doing the work you should be doing of keeping the forum a safe and happy place. You really don't have to explain anything to them in an e-mail or PM.

 Lani, I love you....PMS has really thrown you over the edge! :)

amstaffy

 Lani, I love you....PMS has really thrown you over the edge!

LOL Love you too, Jaime!! -- having a bad day. Sorry if it was too much, but I'm sick of it... and protective of Gina and what she's gone through.

So we no longer have to write them a PM after editing?  SWEET! :o)  Should we post the new change of protocol, or 'neh."??  lol

 Let me ask this...when/where did it come from to write them when you are editing??

 I've never written to anyone unless it was a warning of suspension, I did everything within the posts.

I don't send PM's with edits either. I am not sure...I think we talked about it, there's some mention of PM/email on a "second violation" in the rules. Not quite sure what a second violation is tho...2nd edit in one thread? 2nd edit for them regardless of thread? Anything edited after the "non pointed warning within a thread"??

Violations of the above rules will be dealt with using a "3 Strikes” policy, which consists of the following:

1.)     First violation will result in a non-targeted public warning on the thread in question. In cases of vulgar posts, the offensive material will be removed.

2.)     Second violation will result in a private warning, either via private message or email.

3.)     Third violation will result in a 3 day suspension.

 I was told an edit was accompanied by a PM... so, I've always done it!  Oops!

 But, he was edited twice, this time it was at least applicable.

Lani his post in Maggie's thread is still there. I don't see any previous edit info so thinking you just forgot?

 Hmm. That's very odd. I copied and pasted part of what I wrote there in what I typed on your thread.... so, it just didn't take, maybe I forgot to save it?

 ... thanks for the heads up.

Espencer replied:

I wanted to know if Gina's dog was sick or old? What's rude about that?

I haven't replied. Thoughts on how/if I should?

May I be snarky? LOL

You can respond to him by saying:

"if he wanted to ask those questions of a widow at her husband's funeral...does he think that is appropriate?"

You could also tell him that, if I wanted him or anyone to know a specific reason or talk about the details...I probably would have posted it.

That section is simply NOT for grilling people about their losses because that is rude unless they bring it up. I really don't have any other ideas. I mean if he is seriously that obtuse when it comes to manners...lol...what can one say? Maybe it's a cultural thing.

You might also point out he made or offered no condolences in his post...only questions. That is also...lacking in tact and sympathy.