What motivates you?

 I just recently joined a gym because I have to be in my friend's wedding next year. Just because of my build, no matter what I do, I will be bigger than the other girl who is in it. I don't want that that to be also because I'm really heavy also. I want to look decent. I wish I could really do this because I was motivated for myself, but I'm not, and I haven't been able to get to that place ever. My motivation right now is really all for someone else, but that's ok right now with me because it will benefit me.

I was also doing a little bit better when I had a friend to go with me to the gym, but she's gotta sit it out for a few weeks since she broke her arm. I joined planet fitness and took the more expensive membership that lets me go to any location nationwide. I do a little bit of traveling in the northeast where I might use it, if not for actually working out, a lot of locations are 24 hours on weekdays, and I may just stop in one if I'm driving back late and exhausted, because a shower will wake me up, plus they have massage chairs in some places, so I can just hang there and sleep for a bit. But, I also can take a friend to my "home" location any time I want.

The better eating thing, I just try to eat the healthy things that I like. For some places, I know I can't take myself in there, and not order something that's bad for me, so I just don't go in those places. I try to stick with the places where I know I can feel ok about making a substitution, or ordering something different.

 I've always been athletic and that is my build.  I will never be small or petite but I want to stay athletic looking as I age and I have.  I weigh just about the same as I did in high school and have been as much as 5lbs more at a max and when I was marathoning I was about 8lbs less (and eating 4000kcals a day LOL). I stay active and I eat healthy.  I wear a 8/10 pants and 14/16 top (for shoulders and ribs not boobs unfortunately) - ha ha two piece sets are out of the question.  

I suppose that this size differential and looking and being athletic is what motivates me.  I'll never be curvy or small and on my frame 'soft' would be fat.

Health is what keeps me trying to stay in shape. I was in a motocycle accident 5 years ago that left me with some problems that are less when I am in tiptop shape. I have let myself go a little in that department too over the last year. I recently left a job as a firefighter that I had for 11 years. EVery year I had to pass a really tough physical agility test, and it was motivation to keep fit. When I left, I didn't have that motivation, I let my working out wane, and I started to hurt more as my muscles and connective tissues got a little less "in Shape". Recently I started up again, and this time unless I get laid out by an unexpected event, I am not going to let myself get to this point again.

I wouldn't wish an accident on anyone as motivation, though. But in my struggle to get back to where I am, health has really become a subject of interest for me, and I eat good more for health that how my butt looks. Of course, I am the typical woman, so I worry about how my butt looks too! :-) Wouldn't it be a great motivator if when we ate, we saw an immediate change in out butts, like when I has ice crream the other night, my butt should have instantly grew, the same as if it could instantly shrink while we are working out.

I also keep a pic of the torso of a victoria's secret model on my vision board that hangs by the fridge. Julie

Chuffy

  There is WAY more to life than being a certain size or shape.  I eat what I want and I don't pile weight on because I am sensible about it.  I don't starve myself, I don't binge, I don't obsess about calories or nutrients and I don't eat for the sake of comfort, boredom or routine.  I eat purely and simply to nourish my body and I trust my body to tell me what it needs, when it needs it.  As for exercise.... I don't need motivation for that either.  I have a couple of activites that I enjoy (horse riding and swimming) so I do those a few times a week in addition to walking the dogs. I don't need motivating because I LOOK FORWARD to my "work-outs" for their own sake and I am hugely disappointed if I miss one.... and not because it means my bottom might be getting bigger, or "I won't be able to have that cake now".  I highly recommend this lifestyle... I feel much more active and I am very happy with the way my body looks and feels. 

I think it depends on what your goals are.  I definitely felt more like you at first, because I needed to lose weight so just doing fun, recreational activities on a regular basis was enough to get the ball rolling, I didn't have to put a lot of effort into losing weight or getting healthier and at that point I was always in a "normal" weight range anyway.  For some people weight is just not an issue and maintaining a healthy lifestyle comes natural.  But for others it definitely does not.  I really enjoy eating so for me it's a lot more than just nourishing my body.  Also with this dang ulcer thing I have now I get these stabbing pains when I am hungry and the easiest cure is to start eating so I have to be much more careful about what and how much I eat or I will eat for a half hour straight just to ease the pain.  Yesterday it hurt so bad I was feeling dizzy and I went down to this picnic where we were and just grabbed whatever food was there, didn't really have time to make healthy choices b/c I felt like I was going to fall over.  So it is nice to not have to put a lot of effort into eating healthy but for some people that's just not reality.

Now that I'm down to the last 5 lbs or so, it's ten times harder than losing the first 20.  But for me a goal is a goal, I'm not going to "settle" if I don't want to, I'm doing it for me and not what anyone else thinks about me or myself.  I have a certain weight I want to be just like some people wear their hair a certain way or only wear certain styles of clothing.  Honestly I don't see the difference or why it is such a huge deal.  Often it seems like the people that keep bringing it up to me are the ones that have issues with themselves or their lifestyle.  I can get on a scale to check my weight and not have an emotional breakdown; I can get on a scale every day and not feel any reason to "avoid" a scale because I shouldn't care about myself or my health.  I actually like weighing in daily because I've learned what to expect as far as how my weight also fluctuates monthly.

Another reason it has been great is that the chronic pain and arthritis in my right foot is basically gone.  Taking weight off has certainly been more beneficial as a whole and cheaper than the suggested treatments or medications.  I get health tests done yearly and since I have been better at exercising and losing weight I have been in the optimal ranges for every blood test and body assessment test I've taken.  When I want sound advice or opinions on my weight loss I ask the Dr. and the wellness specialist who helped me put the whole plan together and so far they have had nothing but positive feedback.

My main challenge - and this has been this way my entire life, not having anything to do with my exact weigh or workout - is that I love certain foods and drinks so much that I if given the choice between that drink and a very large, healthy meal I will choose the crappy drink.  This is something that needs to be tackled outside of how much I work out.

 I just found my motivation....needing to fit into my bridesmaid dress for my friend's wedding at the beginning of November. We ordered them early, when I was in better shape so I'm sure it won't fit right now, haha!

Liesje

My main challenge - and this has been this way my entire life, not having anything to do with my exact weigh or workout - is that I love certain foods and drinks so much that I if given the choice between that drink and a very large, healthy meal I will choose the crappy drink.  This is something that needs to be tackled outside of how much I work out.

This is my biggest problem too! If you put a well balanced meal in front of me, and also say a java chip frappaccinio from starbucks, and tell me to pick one, no matter how hungry I am, I will pick the drink which is obviously worse! I really enjoy drinks, coffee drinks that have the syrup flavoring and such in them and I know that is one of my biggest problems.

Liesje

Cathy, I am the same way.  I have high standards for myself and I hate when people give me crap about it because it has *nothing* to do with them.  I want to be a certain weight.  I'm not starving myself or doing things that are really unhealthy.  To me it is no different than other women that like to color their hair or get pedicures or whatever.  To each their own.  I don't spend as much time on hair and makeup but I want my body to be a certain shape and I am willing to work my butt off to get there.  Right now I feel pretty gross and fat but it's all my own fault because I've been so busy and stressed I've not been working out and have been eating crap on the road all the time.

When I'm working out I put TV shows on that have skinny, fit people, lol.  Like America's Best Dance Crew or Top Model.  But I like dancing ones the best b/c I secretly wish I was a good dancer so when I'm working out and watching TV I can sort of pretend, haha.

I get crap from people all the time about my weight. They say I'm too thin, but you know what ? Its my body and I am very happy about my weight. I just ignore naysayers. Their overweight and just jealous. I enjoy the looks I get from men and women. I look good and know it.

tiffy

I get crap from people all the time about my weight. They say I'm too thin, but you know what ? Its my body and I am very happy about my weight. I just ignore naysayers. Their overweight and just jealous. I enjoy the looks I get from men and women. I look good and know it.

Yep I hear ya.  It bothers me how when I decided I want to lose weight everyone was on my case about it and then after I did they complimented me and some even started doing the same thing.  What gives?

Also the eating disorder comments get old really fast.  When I was a competitive gymnast that was something that hung over us like a dark cloud and wouldn't leave.  It was something you had to deal with whether you actually had one or not.  I can't even describe how offensive, insensitive, and immature it is when people make comments like that as some kind of joke.  Even when I'm a size 2 my BMI is still in the "normal" range, I'm not anorexic and I'm not "going to disappear".

Anyone who knows me well is surprised by how much I can eat and I wonder if they didn't think I was anorexic. My husband thought I was bulimic when we first met. We had our 2nd date at a sports bar and I ordered fish and chips and ate the whole thing. He couldn't believe I could be the size I am and eat like that. His ex had used laxatives to keep weight off, so I guess he thought I had my own tricks. I am the furthest from bulimic as anyone could be. I'd rather be grossly overweight than throw up. I do like to eat but I don't eat crazy kinds of food except for rare occasions. I also counter what I do eat by my workouts. I'm not a big sweets person but I crave french fries or nachos more than anything. My best friend describes me as "disciplined" and I think that's pretty accurate.

Cathy my best friend is the same way except she's not really even disciplined and eats some stuff so nasty even I won't touch it.  She never works out, she just has an amazing metabolism and great genes!  Both her parents are very slim.  She is tall and thin, always has been.  I was so excited after I literally worked my ass off and got the same size pants as her (albeit they are a tad baggy on her and she needs the tall size).

I have the body from my dad's side of the family, so I know I'm not as lucky, I have to work to be able to eat what I want and look how I want.

Liesje

Also the eating disorder comments get old really fast.  When I was a competitive gymnast that was something that hung over us like a dark cloud and wouldn't leave.  It was something you had to deal with whether you actually had one or not.  I can't even describe how offensive, insensitive, and immature it is when people make comments like that as some kind of joke.

Ugh. That is very frustrating. My friends mom tried to convince me to go to the doctors - because she thought I had an ed. I'm natually slim, and tall. I eat - a LOT. But I'm also very active. My motivation to keep active/slim is to look/feel good. I don't obsess about my weight - but I try to monitor what I eat - and balance the junk with something slightly healthy...

 I have no desire to be a thin as I could possibly be, or as healthy as I could possibly be, so I can't speak to how well my eating habits could get you there.  I suspect it's very possible over time.... certainly if you ALWAYS ate like that, from childhood, and never developed any "food issues".  (When I say "food issues" I mean, not being able to leave food on your plate for example, or struggling to stop eating something even though you are full, just because you love it so much, or crash dieting, or going for periods without food even though you are hungry "because you used up all your points for this morning", or having to stringly resist the urge to eat a "forbidden food item", like chocolate or cake.)

Take my DH for example.  He has ALWAYS eaten precisely what he wanted, any time he felt hungry and eating precisely the amount he needed to.  He never eats a lot.  You would probably not think he had a very healthy lifestyle - he rarely eats breakfast, doesn't like most fruit or vegetables very much and eats something crappy (like chocolate or pastry or salad slathered in unhealthy dressing) at least once a day.  But you won't find a leaner, healthier person anywhere.  He is not scrawny, but there is no spare fat to him at all.

This is my thinking: it's not WHAT you eat that makes you fat, but how much and when.  Most people eat too much.  Your stomach is approximately the size of your fist - did someone mention portion control?!

A lot of people who try to cut back on their portion sizes do so far too dramatically and end up hungry, even though they know they have techinically eaten "enough".  So the body shouts: FAMINE! and stores calories (as fat).  It also starts shouting "hungry!"  even more often and even more loudly, in an attempt to get you to eat more.  In addition, you get your diet head on and start thinking "I mustn't have that syrup-y coffee" or "I must not eat those Oreos", which makes those items even more desirable!  In some people this leads to bingeing, in others it makes the weight very hard to KEEP off long term... some people just struggle to choose a "healthy lifestyle" day by day, because it's just so gosh darned HARD... hence the need for motivation.

I think if you have to, to use your words "work your butt off" to be the shape you want to be, then either that shape is unrealistic (and I am not saying it is) or you're eating quite a lot more than you NEED to.  The latter is probably true.  Sounds like you're aware of that and OK with it and that's cool.  I'm just throwing this out there for any folks who would like to feel a bit more streamlined, but are struggling to get "motivated".  If you eat a little less each time you eat, and quit eating for any reason other than simple hunger, I guarantee you will see pounds fall off without lifting your butt off the sofa, forcing yourself to eat celery sticks or saying goodbye to chocolate.

Tip: DON'T eat TV dinners.  (I sometimes eat while I am reading a book.... very bad habit!) Concentrate on your meal and you will eat less.  Eat SLOWLY and really appreciate each mouthful.  Don't try to eat all of it.  My granddad always used to say; "you should be able to feel like you could sit down and eat that again".  That's kinda a good rule of thumb.  That's not to say stop while you are still hungry; far from it.  There was a chap on TV who did a demonstration about this.  He had a group of people eat a meal, but some of them were blindfolded and some were not.  The blindfolded ones (who couldn't see how MUCH food was left on the plate) consistently ate MUCH less than the ones who could see what they were eating.  Before he let them remove the blindfold, he asked them how they felt, whether they felt full and satisfied.  They answered yes and almost fell over in shock when they took the blindfold off and saw that 3/4 of the meal was still on the plate. 

And parents... DON'T make your kids clear their plate.  Don't try to entice them to eat more than they feel they need to.  Kids are more in tune with their bodies than adults and instinctively stop at the right point.  Often adults have a hard time with it because that instinct was trained out of them when they were young. 

Chuffy

I think if you have to, to use your words "work your butt off" to be the shape you want to be, then either that shape is unrealistic (and I am not saying it is) or you're eating quite a lot more than you NEED to.  The latter is probably true.  Sounds like you're aware of that and OK with it and that's cool.  I'm just throwing this out there for any folks who would like to feel a bit more streamlined, but are struggling to get "motivated".  If you eat a little less each time you eat, and quit eating for any reason other than simple hunger, I guarantee you will see pounds fall off without lifting your butt off the sofa, forcing yourself to eat celery sticks or saying goodbye to chocolate.

When I'm "being good" I eat 1800-2400 cals a day (not because I'm limiting myself but because I calculated it a few times just to see).  When I'm needing to lose weight I eat 1500-1800 cals a day which is an amount that was calculated by someone who did the body fat assessment and approved by the wellness director (I'm not a nutritionists so I have no idea how much or how little I need to eat to lose or maintain weight, I leave that to the people who do it for a living  ).  When my chest pain is flaring up I eat a lot more than I need but it eases the pain momentarily.  With that in mind I think I'm a lot better at eating too much one meal then cutting back the next then I am just doing portion control for each meal.  The latter is too complicated for me.  And I agree that it's more how much than what.  I've never done a fad diet, I don't count carbs or sugars or fats.  Weight is calories plain and simple.  I end up eating healthier food just by virtue of the fact that there are far less calories and I feel more full (and they are sometimes cheaper).

In some ways the shape I want to be is unrealistic but there is far more to it than that.  As I was saying before I have other health issues that are affected one way or the other by weight.  My arthritis basically goes away when I keep myself at 125 or below, and believe me the chronic joint issues are enough of a pain (literally and figuritively) to make it worth it for me to have to care more about weight.  I would rather be smaller and lighter (which has helped my blood pressure, HDL, glucose, etc) and not be in pain with ever step or have to wear my giant walking cast.  Both sides of my family have several genetic health issues/risks and seeing so many people in failing health has made me more concerned about doing the best I can.  I also sleep a lot better and am far less moody if I do a HARD workout every day.  I actually like doing the hard workout, I just don't like the amount of time and space it takes, and having to get all sweaty and need another shower.  It's not the workout itself that requires the motivation, it's having to rearrange other things like less time with the dogs or less chances to make money doing my side projects at night.  

Chuffy

Take my DH for example.  He has ALWAYS eaten precisely what he wanted, any time he felt hungry and eating precisely the amount he needed to.  He never eats a lot.  You would probably not think he had a very healthy lifestyle - he rarely eats breakfast, doesn't like most fruit or vegetables very much and eats something crappy (like chocolate or pastry or salad slathered in unhealthy dressing) at least once a day.  But you won't find a leaner, healthier person anywhere.  He is not scrawny, but there is no spare fat to him at all.

(emphasis added by myself)

I'm sorry, JMHO, but, I do not buy this at all. Your DH may be lean, but really, how "healthy" can someone be who doesn't eat "healthy"? I don't know your DH, but I'm just saying in general.

One can still be thin and have health issues (heart attacks, etc). I have a few friends, women size 0-2 and men who are very slim, who appear to be "healthy". They eat whatever they want (fried, fatty, sugary) and drink whatever they want (booze, beer, fatty, sugary), never work out, and keep up the same slim appearence. But, just because they're slim, I don't think anyone who eats/drinks that way, is truely "healthy". Their lifestyle may catch up with them down the road, it may not.

Just an example is Kate Moss v. Venus Williams. Who's slimmer? Who's healthier?  

Me? Eating healthy isn't really about my weight (loss) anymore. I personally prefer to eat a more RAW veggies and fruits, grilled lean meats (mainly turkey, I started eating fish, too), whole grains, and nuts. I feel better. My skin looks better. I sleep better.