If you can't afford to take care of your dog, DON'T GET ONE!

I'll admit it -- I'm having a VERY **emotional** reaction to this post.  So don't read it if you don't want to.  I'm not trying to drive anyone away.  But maybe ... just maybe it will change someone's heart and soften their words.
 
I've edited this for a long time, but honestly I think I'm gonna post this.  I've seen a lot of emotionalism here in the past few days and a lot of people getting mad.  And I honestly think I need to voice this.
 
Frankly it's time ****not**** to get 'mad'.  It's time to be understanding and then **choose** what you want to do about it.
 
I hate to blurt it out, but life is NOT "black and white".  It's not right and wrong, it's not pet or no pet, it's not "if you can afford $2.30 a week". 
 
The world is in colors, shades and sometimes some idiot has turned out the light at the end of the tunnel and it's so darned dark you can't tell what color ANYTHING is.
 
Pet Insurance - it's FINE if you insure the dog as a small puppy when it is healthy and nothing is wrong.  THEN you get that cheap monthly rate (as long as you keep it in force and never ever let it lapse and satisfy all their requirements). 
 
But if I tried to get Billy the Adventurin e.c.spanYELL "insurance" today ... let's see, they don't cover "pre-existing conditions" (yep, that's why you gotta insure them as puppies) -- so it wouldn't cover IMHA, it wouldn't cover ear problems, it wouldn't cover tick disease, it sure wouldn't cover thyroid or skin problems at all, it wouldn't cover urinary tract infections, nor would it cover any of the related auto-immune diseases nor would it cover anything he got as a result of the drugs he's had to take to fix any of the above.
 
Sure, insurance can be great -- if you get it at the right time and you don't have to make the choice that month between the dog's insurance and milk for your baby.
 
Yeah, frankly I can talk -- because I'd honestly be willing to bet if we all ante'd up and figured out who spent more on vet bills in the past year I betcha I'd double the highest of you.  So obviously I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is.  I'm not driving a new car, and the electricity in my house isn't enough to plug in the microwave and my 40 year old stove that has two burners out at the same time.
 
Get me?
 
At the same time, I'm gonna chew a few behinds here -- next time you get tempted to blast someone because they didn't spend their money right ... try kindness instead.  Try educating them.  Try letting them know there is maybe another way ...
 
Yep, it may be like spitting into the wind ... it *might* be a waste.  But you know what ... it ***might*** just help.  And your face won't get messy either.  Because if you respond in compassion it only makes you look good.  It doesn't make you look or feel bad or like a jerk. 
 
and btw ... right here, right now, give the lady with the heartworm positive dog my email and I'll tell her how to get the dog treated cheaply if it's a choice between the dog dying of heartworm and her not being able to keep the family in their house.  It can be done.
 
Frankly, when I read a post like this it makes ME burst into tears.  Why?
 
I'm almost 53 and sometimes I feel like I've lived 3 separate lifetimes. 
 
Single with no family support for many years, one little dog I loved more than life itself and I sacrificed so often to keep both of us with a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.
 
Married for 10 years in an unbelieveably bad situation -- ultimately with THREE dogs (he wanted them and wouldn't work to get $$ take care of them) -- and yet others have had it worse.  I *did* get out with my skin intact and he lived to torment another woman.  (Now he's her problem.)
 
Now married to an awesome man but we're working together to sacrifice to keep it all together and make sure the dogs we've taken on have what they need. 
 
But I've learned SO much thru the years -- and frankly, 30 years ago it could so easily have been me who had a dog that was sick with no money for vet care.  Had the toss of life's dice been different and I had Billy back then ... he'd never have made it.  But I learned along the way.  A very hard hard way.
 
Because not so many years ago I was living with an abusive husband who thought the answer to any problem we had was for ME to go get **another** job (and I was already working two).  I was living with this creep who never worked, despite the fact that I'd put him thru college -- and I had to crawl to the church's welfare cupboard for dented cans of Campbell's Chicken with Rice soup to have something to fill our bellies.  I took ripped bags of Pedigree or anything else I found.  I went without lunch so I could clip coupons so I could buy toothpaste for $.19 and get a little better dogfood for the dogs.
 
But would I have told everyone that?  No.  I might have complained I didn't have enough money but no way would I have let my life bleed in front of the rest of the world for their condemnation.
 
But before I could get myself out of this hellish situation (and yeah, you better know I was TRYING -- but when you live with a crazy and you're not sure whose head he'd shoot off first -- yours or his, you get a wee bit careful about *what* you do and *when* so you can get ALL of you and the dogs out in one piece) --
 
but as I said, before I could get myself out of this hellish situation, I lost my little Prissy.  She was 21.  She'd had two strokes.  I couldn't afford the gas to get her to a vet to put her down. (and no they wouldn't 'work with me' -- I asked) 
 
She died in my arms.  After a very long day.  No, she wasn't in pain.  But she just plain didn't want to leave ME with him. 
 
Eventually we (Foxy, Mike and I)  climbed out of it.  I should say *I* climbed out of it with the dogs.  I've got no kids, and no family that would help.  (I asked to come home that Christmas I left and my MOTHER said "Oh, I don't think that's wise ... you aren't at your best right now!" ---- mother love at its best, eh?)
 
Some of you have said to me many times "why are you so patient, Callie?"  "Why are you so willing to send people things and call people on the phone?"  "You always know so much ..." "You spend so much time and are so patient with people ..."
 
I'm no smarter or better than you or the guy next to you. 
 
BUT
 
Life has kicked my butt up one side and down the other ... I've been POOR folks.  I've walked because I had no gas.  Yeah, I've had internet because the ex was a hacker and insisted on it, but I didn't have the money to get my sick dog put to sleep. 
 
Someone looking in from the outside ... heck, someone probably DID look in from outside and judge me. 
 
BUT
 
I learned compassion.  I learned that maybe ... sometimes ... shoot MOST of the time ... people are either trying harder than you think they are, or maybe they're just plain dumb and uneducated. 
 
Maybe the have the priorities they think they're suppposed to have.  Maybe they've never been taught better. 
 
Maybe they're just young and haven't got it all figured out yet how to prioritize better.  What will wait and what won't.
 
Maybe they're just mullets -- fish too stupid to have much of a brain. 
 
But you know what?  If you just get mad at people like that -- what does it get YOU?
 
It gets you mad and upset.  Raises *your* blood pressure ... but it actually also clouds YOUR judgment.  It makes you too mad to see beyond the obvious sometimes ... doesn't it?
 
Did it help anyone?  No.  Did it help that person?  no.  Maybe ... just maybe all they need is some direction.  Maybe ... just maybe all they need is someone to kindly explain something a little bit different. 
 
When you're tempted to get madder than he-double-hockey-sticks ... stop.  Email or PM someone that shows as 'active' on the screen and ask them what color shirt you have on today.
 
They won't know will they?
 
How well do you know them?  Maybe ... they just haven't told anyone how difficult life really is right now because they can't stand to verbalize it all yet again.  Maybe their S.O. or spouse has a honey on the side and they're sitting their trying to figure out how to cope or leave.
 
How would you know?  You wouldn't -- this is a text medium.  We can't SEE each other.  Maybe ... maybe they use $20 bills to light their cigarettes.  Maybe they don't even have yogurt in the fridge for lunch.
 
None of us know what the other person is really like sitting in front of that computer.  And we truly can't "judge" them unless we understand the whole frame of reference that makes up HOW they make decisions. 
 
Yes, the goal IS to take good care of your pet (and your kids and your spouse and yourself).  But I know when Prissy and I were both young ... man I made STUPID mistakes with her.  I was too harsh -- but I'd grown up in a home where if someone thot you were rude you got the back of someone's hand across your face. 
 
But I learned because the Alpha of all Alphas gave me this wonderful, loving little dog who made me the center of her world.  And I also wound up with a hard enough life that taught me not to take anything for granted. 
 
But man -- if you'd looked at ME 30 years ago I shudder to think how much I would have gotten trashed by someone looking at MY life and my dogs.
 
Often people don't admit a background of abuse -- no one's gonna admit that today -- but it still exists.  It can be a 'red badge of courage' and some folks use it as an exuse to skive off in life ... "I was abused".  But mostly you never know. 
 
People don't even want to make their kids obey in public for fear that someone will think them 'too harsh'.  But what goes on at home behind closed doors?  No one knows.
 
This is too long already -- but folks, please.  Don't judge.  Because you don't know. Give people the benefit of the doubt and maybe just once, try the soft approach and see if it works.
 
And honestly -- most of you have an unbelievable amount of expendible income.  But I can guarantee every single person reading this is probably thinking "I don't have a lot of money."
 
But we all spend money differently.  And Dum Dog is right -- your whole world can com crashing down on you tomorrow.  Lose your job?  Maybe thru no fault of your own but some idiot drives a flaming car thru the doors of where you work and blows it up.  Or you get to work and the doors are locked. 
 
Next time you are tempted to barrel into someone who is crying hard up ... just for one moment check yourself and suspect that maybe ... just maybe ... life really IS that sucky.  Maybe they've made bad decisions because they've never been taught a better way. 
 
If they're really that stupid then no amount of help is gonna really help them, and that's not a cause for anger -- it's a cause for either pity or ignoring them.
 
And if you have grounds to really be that superior, then share that knowledge.

Thank you Callie for a well thought out and written post.  Such truth is written in it.  I have been poor and I have been just okay.  Never been rich.  I have spent thousands of dollars on my dogs but I have only owned one at a time since I can't afford more than one.  Financially or emotionally.  Living with a commission only saleman for a husband means our income is feast and famine.  I save the feast for the emergencies.  I remember spending the 6000.00 to save Jax three years ago and anytime I complained about the old couch I hate in the living room my husband would point to Jax and say there is your new couch honey.  How true that was.  The couch can wait.  I had three more years with Jax.  That was priceless.  I think most people are well meaning when they take on pets and just don't have the knowledge of how much the costs add up over the first year alone.  I know its been a struggle for me.  Hopefully breeders and adoption agencies do point out to folks before the purchase or adoption -that the costs are huge at times.  It might help.  But all I could think of reading all these posts was this....when  your life is so down and your wallet is empty having the love of a dog or cat can fill a void like no other.  I know its not right to not be able to afford the care they need, but for some people that dog is all they have to get out of bed for. 

Callie, that was a beautiful post and I completely agree with you.  When someone says "Help" and you yell at them, the animal suffers because you have lost
(1)  the chance to make constructive suggestions and
(2)  the chance to persuade the person to plan more carefully.
 
There are cheap, but slow, ways to kill heartworms.  Vaporizers will help an animal with respiratory illnesses.  There are inexpensive ways to boost the immune system.
 
People that don't ask for help don't care.  Why not encourage the ones who care enough to ask for help and are willing to learn?

ORIGINAL: snownose

This got me thinking, everytime I had a situation with a dog I paid out of my pocket, be it with credit card or saved up pet funds. If pet insurance is that cheap then perhaps I need to get my pets insured.

Any suggestions on what companies offer the best coverage with decent insurance premiums?

i have looked into pet insurance a couple of times. $2.30 per day would be the bare minimum coverage from what i remember. that still equates to roughly $36-40 per month. that is a per pet price. i cant afford an extra $120 per month for insurance that likely only covers major medical expenses (surgery and the like). to get insurance that will cover routine vet visits it is much more per month.

all the research i did, it was recommended setting up a pet savings account or having a pet specific credit card instead. then you could use the money for any vet expenses and not just major ones.

Aw, geeze.  Pass the tissues please.
 
Beautiful post Callie.

Great post, Callie ... as usual.  I agree, we're  treading on very thin ice when we're being smug and judgemental.  Imagine for a minute that you have a child and you lost (or just plain can't afford) health insurance.  How would you feel if someone said to you "Well, if you can't afford to take care of a kid, you shouldn't have had one."   Hmmm. We all just have to do the best we can with whatever resources we have on hand at the time.  That differs for all of us.
 
Joyce

Wow, Callie.  Thank you for sharing that. *hugs*

I'm on the fence about pet insurance.  I've been looking into it on and off for several years now.  At present, an annual exam costs me $34.  Vaccinations are $19 each (rabies is once ever third year and distemper combo yearl), however if you're getting vacc's the exam fee is only $18, not $34.  So basically it's not even costing me $50 per year per cat for routine medical care...not worth insuring since my cats are all three years and under.  Even a full dental only costs $72 at my vet. When the kitties get older and when these companies mature, I'll revisit the idea.

ORIGINAL: cyclefiend2000

ORIGINAL: snownose

This got me thinking, everytime I had a situation with a dog I paid out of my pocket, be it with credit card or saved up pet funds. If pet insurance is that cheap then perhaps I need to get my pets insured.

Any suggestions on what companies offer the best coverage with decent insurance premiums?

i have looked into pet insurance a couple of times. $2.30 per day would be the bare minimum coverage from what i remember. that still equates to roughly $36-40 per month. that is a per pet price. i cant afford an extra $120 per month for insurance that likely only covers major medical expenses (surgery and the like). to get insurance that will cover routine vet visits it is much more per month.

all the research i did, it was recommended setting up a pet savings account or having a pet specific credit card instead. then you could use the money for any vet expenses and not just major ones.

$2.30 a week is more like it or about 33 cents a day!  [size="3"]Lets be realistic, if someone has trouble affording even $36-40 a month, the likelyhood that they will be able to save a few thousand dollars during the life of the pet is pretty near zero.
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$2.30 a week!

Even at this rate it's still more than twice what I pay for routine medical exams and vaccinations out of pocket.  I'll wait and see what happens as pet insurance becomes more popular.  Until then, I'll stick with my vet, who is one of few that doesn't feel the need to spank me with insanely high costs.  I know vets deserve a profit just like everyone else, but I don't get why some feel justified in charging 3-5 times what others charge.  If some vets charge significantly less, then the pricier ones don't really have grounds to argue that they *need* to charge that much (and I'm comparing vets in my area, I know costs are going to vary state by state).

ORIGINAL: Liesje

Wow, Callie.  Thank you for sharing that. *hugs*

I'm on the fence about pet insurance.  I've been looking into it on and off for several years now.  At present, an annual exam costs me $34.  Vaccinations are $19 each (rabies is once ever third year and distemper combo yearl), however if you're getting vacc's the exam fee is only $18, not $34.  So basically it's not even costing me $50 per year per cat for routine medical care...not worth insuring since my cats are all three years and under.  Even a full dental only costs $72 at my vet. When the kitties get older and when these companies mature, I'll revisit the idea.

I don't look at pet insurance to cover routine care and didn't get that type of policy. To me, routine care pales in comparison to what your Vet bill could be if your dog sustained a serious illness or injury. A broken leg could cost over $1,000 by the time you are done. A friend told me this week that the bill to clean his dog's teeth was going to be over $400, and that is a minor problem. Something serious like Cancer, which 50%  of dogs today wind up with, could cost many thousands of dollars. With all the new drugs out and the new procedures available , racking up an expensive vet bill is pretty easy to do.

A friend told me this week that the bill to clean his dog's teeth was going to be over $400, and that is a minor problem.

Like I said in my other posts, my dentals cost $72, including bloodwork, anaesthesia, cleaning, and extractions.  I'll worry about insurance and cancer when my animals are older.  None of them are even 4 yet, and my dog has been bred and raised by a vet so I trust that if they say she is healthy, she is healthy.

I personally would never judge someones love and commitment to their pets based on their pet insurance premium, just like I don't judge a person's commitment as a parent based on the health insurance premium.  I've gone for periods of my life without health insurance and no one scorned my parents because of it.

Thank you for that post, Callie.  I believe the same sentiment could be applied to the other heated threads of late, as well
I always try to remember that every single person comes to this forum because they care about their pets.  If they didn't care, they wouldn't be here.
We just finished doing a job for a young couple with two preschoolers who just bought their first home. He is a disabled stay at home Dad, and she works for probably not a lot more than minimum wage.  They were only able to buy a home by going through a special program.
They have two dogs they rescued from the shelter, and whom they love very much.  Both dogs are very overweight, and the subject of food came up.  The dogs are fed Alpo in a can supplemented by table scraps. 
There was a part of me that wanted to jump right in and discuss good nutrition. I stepped back, took a breath, and thought better of it.
Is it a perfect situation? no. If the dogs develop expensive medical conditions can the family afford to pay for that? surely not.
But....there are two less dogs in the shelter.  There are two dogs that are loved. There is a family that is happy to have those dogs.  If the dogs' lives are shortened due to less quality nutrition, at least they will have lived being loved, which is far more than the fate many dogs will suffer.
To me, that is the bottom line.  I do believe that the collective "we" are doing the best we can at any given time using what we have to work with.

In regards to the topic, while I'm sure that there's people who fall on hard times and they're trying to make ends meet there's no denying that there are people who get in way over their heads by getting critters they shouldn't have gotten in the first place. And they make a point to tell you that they can't afford them while they're either talking on a $100 a month cell phone or on $50 a month cable internet. I meet people like that all the time at the pharmacy. They're bitchin that Public Aid won't pay for $3 OTC Benadryl but they got the newest cell phone in their hand, wearing the latest fashions, have gold wrapped around their neck and they put their freshly manicured nails into their Coach bag to dig out $3 and they hand it to you while they make it loudly clear that they cannot afford it and then they leave the store to get into their Escalade. [&:]

In regards to pet insurance, I'm sure it has it's moments but if it's anything like human insurance, I wouldn't be too surprised if you have to jump through hoops to get something major covered and I wouldn't be too surprised that they'll find some excuse to deny payment. Because of that, I decided not to get it and I have 2 emergency credit cards on the side for things like that.
 
By the way, great post Callie! []

$2.30 a week is more like it or about 33 cents a day! Lets be realistic, if someone has trouble affording even $36-40 a month, the likelyhood that they will be able to save a few thousand dollars during the life of the pet is pretty near zero.

none of the pet insurance i found was that cheap. they averaged around $30-40 per month per pet. i cant afford that when i might not use it at all for years. i can afford to put some money in a savings account, and spend it as i need to.

if pet insurance works for you that is great. i was relating information i found during research i did. just last week we got a flyer about pet insurance through the aspca in the mail. i think the cheapest plan was $25 or so per month. it didnt cover all that much.

pet insurance doesnt seem like a viable option for my family right now. it doesnt make a person a bad pet owner if they cant afford or dont want to afford pet insurance.

ORIGINAL: meilani

In regards to the topic, while I'm sure that there's people who fall on hard times and they're trying to make ends meet there's no denying that there are people who get in way over their heads by getting critters they shouldn't have gotten in the first place. And they make a point to tell you that they can't afford them while they're either talking on a $100 a month cell phone or on $50 a month cable internet. I meet people like that all the time at the pharmacy. They're bitchin that Public Aid won't pay for $3 OTC Benadryl but they got the newest cell phone in their hand, wearing the latest fashions, have gold wrapped around their neck and they put their freshly manicured nails into their Coach bag to dig out $3 and they hand it to you while they make it loudly clear that they cannot afford it and then they leave the store to get into their Escalade. [&:]

In regards to pet insurance, I'm sure it has it's moments but if it's anything like human insurance, I wouldn't be too surprised if you have to jump through hoops to get something major covered and I wouldn't be too surprised that they'll find some excuse to deny payment. Because of that, I decided not to get it and I have 2 emergency credit cards on the side for things like that.

Every once in awhile someone comes to the shelter to adopt a dog, and one of the questions on the adoption form asks  how much they would pay for vet care if the dog got sick. The choices are, $50, $250, $500, $750,  $1,000, to  "whatever it takes".  We have more than a few people that check the $50 box, and then climb into an expensive looking car and leave......(without the dog)