What Would You Do?

 Giving up Cheyanne would mean putting her to sleep. She doesnt considering anywhere home unless Im there. I know from experience when I moved out of my parents and I had a friend keep Cheyanne for me while I was living somewhere else. She stayed in the dog house and only came out to eat,drink,and use the bathroom. In the house she just curls up in a ball and doesnt move.

So if my kid was allergic to dogs I would do everything possible to keep everyone healthy and happy. And if keeping my dogs especially Cheyanne meant building them a nice ac/heated setup outside and scrubbing down everytime I came in contact with my child after being with the dogs I would.

Like I said children are gonna come in contact with strangers in stores that have dogs. What are you supposed to do with a highly allergic kid? Never let them out of the house?

Chuffy

I see some people posting saying "oh I couldn't give up my dog - I would rather manage the situation."  If keeping the dog meant he had to be segregated from the family for the most part how much do you (general) think he would like that?  Are you keeping HIS best interests in mind - or your own?  I don't deny that people give up pets left right and centre for very selfish reasons - what I am suggesting is that people on the other end of the spectrum KEEP their pets for very selfish reasons.  Cuts both ways.

I'm also skeptical of anyone who says they would "never" give up a dog for the sake of a child if they have never had a child of their own.  Some here do have kids AND dogs and have still said they would not give up the dog unless it was VERY serious and management didn't work.  But NO ONE knows FOR SURE how they will react to or cope with being a parent until they arrive there themselves.

Very true. I have two children. We actually did it backwards, had the kids, waited for them to be old enough to handle a dog, than got two.

I think it's somewhat easier to say "I'd never give up my dog...ever" when one has never had children.  It's like before we got dogs, I had no idea how deep and amazing the bond would be, I was never a dog person, it's even more so with children and the bond and connection.   I know my dogs are very very social and love being around their pack all day, if they had to be kept outdoors or seperated completely from us all day, it would be much harder for them than finding a new family they could be with.  I'd rather rehome them and do what would make them happy, than try to make something work that would make them miserable, but me happy.  I'd find a family similar to ours, with a stay at home mom who can be with them all day.

There are a lot of people who aren't dog people and rehome the second they have a baby using the "allergies" excuse.  Although there are some out there who will admit they just can't find the balance between taking care of the baby and caring for the dog. It's hard adjusting to the demands of a newborn, I wish more people were more patient with the adjustment period.  Eventually you get into a rhythm, although the first few weeks with a new baby are a shock to the system.

giving meds to a small child or infant, is not something that's just "so easy" nor is it without reprecussions all on it's own. You MUST consider the childs present and future abilities to process daily and sometimes TWICE daily meds, and the psychological effects frequent breathing treatments, trips to the doc, and medicating can have on the PARENT CHILD relationship.

I would not want to have my child running from me or crying and sobbing because they must take a shot or medication or breathing treatment, that save for my own wishes...they do not require...it would be heartbreaking. My CHILD will remember this as an adult...I still recall bad experiences I had as a TODDLER. My dog will not remember my home 2 months later let alone 2 YEARS later.

I am with Chuffy. I would consider it after getting an informed and conclusive diagnoses from a specialist. If need be I would do a thoroughly screened rehome or honor the contract with the source if I had one.

 I found this article on pet allergies---interesting...

kle1986

 Giving up Cheyanne would mean putting her to sleep. She doesnt considering anywhere home unless Im there. I know from experience when I moved out of my parents and I had a friend keep Cheyanne for me while I was living somewhere else. She stayed in the dog house and only came out to eat,drink,and use the bathroom. In the house she just curls up in a ball and doesnt move.

Rascal was like that when his original owner died. He wouldn't eat (I'm talking walking away from roast chicken and pot roast here), wouldn't play with anything or anyone, and was just generally depressed. After 1 month, he was pretty attached to me and was pepping up a little bit. (Sniffing things while out on walks, eating a bit, etc.) After 3 months, he was intensely, totally velcro-y bonded to me. And playing and eating like a puppy.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm all about keeping animals "for life," but in practicality (IMO at least) the best thing for the animal is to look at the situation with the animal's best interest in mind and set aside our own feelings. It's sooooo easy for us to be selfish and think the animal could never be happy without us, but I think 99.9% of the time that just isn't true.

If it came down to it and I had a kid with very, very serious allergies, and I could find a truly exceptional home for my dog, I would probably rehome. As others pointed out - the kid would remember the stress of the animal(s), but the animals would not suffer nearly as much by moving to a new, wonderful home, so, to maximize the happiness of all involved... I wouldn't like it, but I'd do what I could to ensure the best welfare of everyone.

kle1986

 Giving up Cheyanne would mean putting her to sleep. She doesnt considering anywhere home unless Im there. I know from experience when I moved out of my parents and I had a friend keep Cheyanne for me while I was living somewhere else. She stayed in the dog house and only came out to eat,drink,and use the bathroom. In the house she just curls up in a ball and doesnt move.

First of all, cases like Cheyanne are unusual.  YES, you do hear stories about very failthul dogs who wait forever for their masters return, never giving up and never forgetting.  But these are not the norm... dogs live NOW and as long as a move were sensibly and sensitively dealt with, I'm guessing even Cheyanne would forget you and go on her merry way.  If she did not, I would question the level of care she was receiving and/or the level of care taken in matching her to her new owner.

kle1986

So if my kid was allergic to dogs I would do everything possible to keep everyone healthy and happy. And if keeping my dogs especially Cheyanne meant building them a nice ac/heated setup outside and scrubbing down everytime I came in contact with my child after being with the dogs I would.

What if "keeping the dogs happy" meant rehoming them though? 

kle1986

Like I said children are gonna come in contact with strangers in stores that have dogs. What are you supposed to do with a highly allergic kid? Never let them out of the house?

This is ridiculous and you know it.  Encountering an allergy trigger when you are out and about is a WHOLE different kettle of kippers to LIVING with the situation on a daily basis.

I'm 100% with Gina.  I hated taking Will for his injections.  After the first one he screamed and turned into me and clung to me, no doubt expecting I would wrap myself round him and not let it happen again.  By golly, baring that little leg for round 2 was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

What if the child is old enough to express a dislike for the dogs presence and/or constant meds?  What if they get the feeling that you love the dog so much you are happy to let them live like that, maybe even PREFER the dog to them?  That would be a very tough thing to deal with.

sillysally

 I found this article on pet allergies---interesting...

http://infant-toddler-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/children_and_pet_allergies

 

I still have to agree that if a child's health is involved, I would rehome my dogs.  I wouldn't be happy about it but I certainly couldn't put a dog over a child.  I firmly believe that dogs will transition to a new home if the proper effort is made to find the right home.  Twister is very, very attached to me and we spend most every day together, 24/7.  He acts somewhat depressed when I am out of town and he is home with DH and the other dogs. He has stayed with two different friends on different occasions.  One friend is a dog trainer and she treated him just like one of her dogs.  He was fine.  The other friend coddled him and spent too much time worrying about how much he missed me and he was nervous and clingy. I could not convince her that she just needed to quit worrying.  I don't leave dogs with her anymore, even though she is a dear friend. I have seen so many dogs whose  owners' were convinced they would pine away and die if they were left for training, only to see that the dogs adjusted well.  I have no doubt that Twister would adjust to a new home if that had to happen.  The new owner would have to invest the time and effort in making the dog feel a part of the family rather than feeling sorry for the dog and thereby feeding the depression and insecurity.

I still believe that many people rehome a dog when a baby comes along because the dog is now too much time and trouble and they use the allergy excuse to avoid the deserved scorn they fear.

Chuffy

kle1986

 Giving up Cheyanne would mean putting her to sleep. She doesnt considering anywhere home unless Im there. I know from experience when I moved out of my parents and I had a friend keep Cheyanne for me while I was living somewhere else. She stayed in the dog house and only came out to eat,drink,and use the bathroom. In the house she just curls up in a ball and doesnt move.

 

First of all, cases like Cheyanne are unusual.  YES, you do hear stories about very failthul dogs who wait forever for their masters return, never giving up and never forgetting.  But these are not the norm... dogs live NOW and as long as a move were sensibly and sensitively dealt with, I'm guessing even Cheyanne would forget you and go on her merry way.  If she did not, I would question the level of care she was receiving and/or the level of care taken in matching her to her new owner.

 

kle1986

So if my kid was allergic to dogs I would do everything possible to keep everyone healthy and happy. And if keeping my dogs especially Cheyanne meant building them a nice ac/heated setup outside and scrubbing down everytime I came in contact with my child after being with the dogs I would.

What if "keeping the dogs happy" meant rehoming them though? 

kle1986

Like I said children are gonna come in contact with strangers in stores that have dogs. What are you supposed to do with a highly allergic kid? Never let them out of the house?

 

This is ridiculous and you know it.  Encountering an allergy trigger when you are out and about is a WHOLE different kettle of kippers to LIVING with the situation on a daily basis.

I'm 100% with Gina.  I hated taking Will for his injections.  After the first one he screamed and turned into me and clung to me, no doubt expecting I would wrap myself round him and not let it happen again.  By golly, baring that little leg for round 2 was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

What if the child is old enough to express a dislike for the dogs presence and/or constant meds?  What if they get the feeling that you love the dog so much you are happy to let them live like that, maybe even PREFER the dog to them?  That would be a very tough thing to deal with.

 Honestly, I;m not sure why kle1986 is getting the reaction that she is getting....

All I hear in parenting and baby threads is how you have to do what you are comfortable with as a parent.  Breast feeding has been shown to prevent multiple problems and have incredible benefits for the child, yet I have yet to hear anyone questioning mothers who know the pluses but refuse to breast feed even if they are physically capable.  It is considered the mother's choice and left at that.  There are many who believe that staying home with children is the best thing as far as raising them yet I don't often hear working mothers being challenged for their decisions.  There are people on here who spank but who with argue people who are against spanking that it is the parents decision (punishments can definitely cause bad childhood memories and can most certainly cause a child to fear a parent faster than administration of medication if I remember my own childhood correctly).

All the poster is doing is expressing her choice as a parent.  Why are other choices that effect the health and mental development of the child off limits and up to the individual parent, but this one is not?
 

sillysally

 Honestly, I;m not sure why kle1986 is getting the reaction that she is getting....

Because she has put forward an opposite view to my own and I am interested in a debate?  Whoops, sorry I thought that's what forums were for....  As far as I am aware I haven't been rude in any way.  And yes, while IN THEORY everyone says you should do what you feel comfortable with as a parent/owner, the reality is that if no one challenged any ones views discussion and debate would not exist.

I agree with Chuffy, this is a debate, and an interesting one to boot!  Since I never had a child I can't be sure what my choice would be in such a situation. Some people on this forum have children and most say that rehoming the dog would be the best option, and I believe that they are in a far better position to know then I am.

I will say that I do believe that some doctors will make a snap decision and say the dog needs to go, then they look at other sources for an allergy. There are quite a few doctors that think pets are "unsafe" for children, any pets!

I don't think anyone is upset, just passionate about their opinions. 

The title is "What Would You Do"

The dog was there first, so rehome the kid?    LOL  Seriously, I don't have kids and I don't want them, so this would never happen in my life.

Ultimately, I think it's up to the parents to first determine if the allergy problem is really related to the dog.  Maybe it's dust or other major allergens (mold spores, hay fever, etc.).  Then once it's narrowed down to the dog, they should explore every allergy medication option.  I couldn't get rid of my dog.  I just couldn't.  If it meant vacuuming a lot and finding ways to keep the dander down or whatever I'd do it.  But, obviously, this will not be a concern for me since children are NOT a part of my future.

Well, there are allergies, and then there are ALLERGIES. Of all the people I've ever known with "pet allergies," only one has actually had any serious reaction to my animals beyond maaaybe sniffling and sneezing a little bit. (That one person got skin rashes.) In my experience, a large number of the people who are "allergic to pets" are using it as an excuse because they don't *like* pets and want to stay away from them. So, again in my experience, the vast majority of "animal allergies" are very manageable. Medications, extra cleaning precautions, air filters, etc. In the case of a very very serious allergy that couldn't be easily managed... that's where I'd have to start thinking about whether rehoming might be in the best interest of the animal(s). (Not necessarily that it would be - but I would still have to consider it seriously.)

My husband has asthma which is made slightly worse by having dogs in our home.It's his choice to suck it up and take his inhalers which are becoming increasingly more expensive.These inhalers do take their toll on his overall health as well.I'm not sure if I were the one suffering I would be willing to deal with it.My health is very important to me.I do have one child who is now 11.If he were to develop asthma or allergies it would be his choice as to how he wanted to deal with it.I've done alot of hoop-jumping to accomadate the pets in my life.....job changes,house changes etc. but my kid's health and happiness will always come first.

Tena