Bonita of Bwana
Posted : 8/14/2008 8:14:35 AM
jennyx0023
I'm going to tell my mom to take her to the vet again. She was just in last week and he said she's not looking well and should be put down. (Yes, I HATE this vet with a passion, but my mom won't switch at this point because he's been treating her for years and knows all her problems). She was making chicken and rice to stimulate her appetite. I'll try to talk to her, sometimes my mom is overly dramatic with things like this so its really hard to know if the dog is really doing bad or if she's exaggerating a bit. She was alright on Sunday but didn't seem to well on Monday.
Jenny,
I am going to say this once and it will make you angry. I am the 51 year old mom of 5 daughters and 10 grand kid from 3 years to 24. After reading your posts YOU sound young and like the overly dramatic one. Your mom is with this old dog every day. To the point she will not leave her to go out for a meal if she can avoid it. She is having to cook special foods to get her to eat at all. The vet who has seen and clearly knows this dog well for many years has recommended putting her down. But YOU hate the vet? Ridiculous! I feel for your mom. She is caught in the middle . A much loved daughter who is away from home demanding ( she make ) the dog well, get repeated opinions ( who is paying for the vet care and testing ? ) and a beloved dog who simply is wearing out. The rest of the family can most likely see it more clearly than you. You went for a brief visit and she ate a treat. Whoohooo..... She did that because she loves you, your visit made her fell happy and she wanted to please. Not because she was jumping about begging for treats.
You need to seriously check yourself. Instead of posting to a list of cyber friends about how hard this is one YOU... Honey we all know it is hard, we all know it hurts like He** and most of us have been there more than once. Many of us have been the one to take a dog in and ease the pain of old joints and failing body with the ultimate caring effort. Holding that beloved dog and giving her permission to cross , to no longer hurt every time she moves. To once again feel young enough t o run the skies and chase star bunnies.
Instead YOU need to be seeing how often you can be with the old girl before she crosses. How YOU can make your mom's life easier, allowing her to go out and get a break while YOU sit with this dear dog. And if you think another vet will give a better answer YOU need to come up with the money and take her then supply the money for the suggested care. A round of good diagnostic tests can run in the thousands !! And after care on an arthritic dog can run several hundred dollars a month. God Forbid she not have cancer or tumors or diabetes ..... Can your parents even afford all of this?? can YOU??? It is a simple fact of dog ownership, we can not always fix what hurts! Either the cure is not available or it is so expensive we simply can not realistically afford it. In today's economy Vet care is a pricey item. When an ADULT can not realistically pay for everything THEY must make hard adult choices. Do you make a beloved dog hurt and decline or do you step up and do the right thing ? It is very possible from your own postings that your mom may already know there is something more wrong with the girl but not have been 100% clear about it with you. She has told you she is changing, that she is worried, that she has taken her several times to her vet that knows her well and he does not like what he sees, that she is having to cook to get her to eat at all..... Lif eis full of hard, hard lessons and the lost of your "First Ever" dog is one of them. Feel blessed that she has been with you all of this time. That she was never hit by a car or gone hungry. When you relocated from your home to where ever it is you live now did you offer to take the dog with you? If not WHY? And who has paid for the support and care of this dog all of these years? Did you offer , did you bring bags of food , did you bring her heartworm preventative, her vet and routine exam or shot money, did you ever even pay for her licand tags??? This is Important when You lable your mom as "overly dramatic" .
Sometimes the most expensive payment we have to make is an emotional one.... Knowing we owe an emotional debt , something even a child can pay. And then stepping up and doing so.
I am sorry you are hurting over the fear of the future. And I am even more sorry your dog and your mom are having to try to make YOU feel better instead of everyone putting the old dog first. This is not a gentle response that I would give to an 8 year old, but it is the response I give to a young adult and from your picture that would be YOU. Re evaluate your position. My Grand kids were more understanding of the loss of a dog that had been there for every breath they had ever taken, every birthday and every Christmas.... they talked it out with me and understood it wasn't about not wanting Mimi to die , NONE of us wanted that! It was about Mimi being worn out and hurting, about her needing our blessing and permission to cross as she was a very good girl and we LOVED her. The 6 year old wanted to be there for the Shot that would cross her... he held his ground until the doctor brought in the needle and syringe... then he leaned into her , said "I will ALWAYS love you go across the bridge Mimi " then took his little 34 pound self out side to the hall to await news she was gone. I ADMIRE that kid like you will never know !!!
My sympathies to all of you for the pain that is part of life. saying Good bye...
Bonita of Bwana