He's Sabotaging Weight Watchers!

Hehe, you're right!

BlackLabbie

I know the only one who can really sabotage me is me, but it's like sometimes I feel like he's purposely tempting me even though he probably has no idea what he's doing.

He may be subconsciously doing this because of his own lack of self confidence.  The less you weigh the more other men will notice and the more likely he is to lose you.  That fear of losing you may be just all in his head, but it can be very real to him. 

janet_rose

BlackLabbie

I know the only one who can really sabotage me is me, but it's like sometimes I feel like he's purposely tempting me even though he probably has no idea what he's doing.

He may be subconsciously doing this because of his own lack of self confidence.  The less you weigh the more other men will notice and the more likely he is to lose you.  That fear of losing you may be just all in his head, but it can be very real to him. 

This is very true. It is not uncommon for men to subconsciously sabotage weight loss in their partners, or on the flip side, recovery from anorexia. It isn't that they don't want their partners to be healthy and happy - they do. But change is threatening, especially when that change makes a woman more attractive to the outside world.  

BlackLabbie

What did he go out and get at the bakery?? An onion bagel (fresh baked, mind you) with scallion cream cheese! WTF?!

WARNING FRANK TALK COMING UP... 

Not likely to be popular but this could be his passive aggressive way of telling you he is a bit tired of all the point/weight loss stuff, and loves you the way you are?

Men often have difficulty with their partners obsessing...and women DO obsess with things they want...babies, a certain weight, hair...makeup...etc. Women often feel better about things and find it easier to accomplish things if they talk A LOT about it....share progress, etc. Men oftentimes wonder "why is this so important to her if I love her the way she is? Isn't that enough? What's next...she changed so now I will have to change? Will she leave me if she changes?"

Classic example is getting preggers. If it doesn't happen right away the woman often starts planning and charting and making it a "goal" whereas the man likes the journey for obvious reasons. Many times women feel unsupported when the man won't jump into action when her clocks says GO...but he's just really trying to assert that HE is also part of the deal and should have some say so...etc.

Men can be threatened by change...in fact there's a saying among men which (paraphrasing) is "when your woman fixes herself up the next step is her leaving you". TOTALLY, ridiculously, not reality many times. Women have wanted to improve themselves for many years without it having anything to do with men...BUT you know.

It's a two way street...he should support you...but he might also need support...you know?

Just a different perspective (perhaps an off base one) and not meant to in any way lessen your feelings...just offer a different possible reason.

rwbeagles

Men oftentimes wonder "why is this so important to her if I love her the way she is? Isn't that enough?

And, if that was me, my response would be, I need to also love myself and be comfortable in my own skin.  It's really not about the man and what he thinks. 

Didn't say it was...but knowing how someone works is part of living with them long term. The response is for each individual couple to work out. It's always helpful to know what the other side is thinking even if you plan to ignore it *cackle*

I defiantly understand what you're saying...he IS afraid of change big time! When I cut 14 inches off my hair and donated it to locks of love, what did he do? He tried to stop me. But I did it anyway, and I felt GREAT after doing it, and once he realized I already did it and it didn't change me one bit (besides shorter hair) he was proud of me...but he waited until after I did it to say, "Wow, that was really something you did, I'm proud of you!". He is a very good guy, but he is a guy...lol. He doesn't like change, even if it's something small like buying a new bed spread.

They start young too lemme tell ya! My 4y/o son wants cereal EVERY MORNING...lol. Change to say pancakes and risk his wrath..LMBO. Doesn't matter that pancakes are BETTER....it's messin with the routine....lol.

ROFL

BlackLabbie

Oh, Jeremy has NO idea how portions work...

 To a man, a "portion" is whatever can be crammed on a plate without falling off the sides.

Joyce

I went through a diet last year...lost 55 pounds and I have kept it off for almost a year now (will be a year next month).  Yes, the beginning is the hardest, for sure.  While it is true that it is ultimately up to you to control what you eat, temptation, especially in the beginning, is really difficult to resist.  What I did at first was kept all food I could not have out of the house, and told my BF he was NOT allowed to bring it in the house if it wasn't on my diet.  If he wanted something I couldn't have, then he could eat it outside the house (fine, go to McDonalds, but eat it in the car on the way home).  It just seemed to me easier to resist tempations if I was, say, out at a restaurant, because although others around you may be eating things you should not, you can still eat a yummy meal that works on your diet.  But at home, there is too much temptation to wander into the kitchen and snack on whatever is in there.  But if all that's in there for snacking are fruits and raw veggies, then that is what you will eat.  BF was fantastic, and he still got his junk food fix while at work or out of the house.  I just had to explain to him that it would only be temporary.  Once I got into my new food routine, the ability to resist temptations became much easier, and I would even buy him some of his favorite junk food to keep at home, but I would not touch it.  So, it will get easier, but I agree you do need the people in your household to help you out.  I don't think it's too much to ask, because if the situation were reversed, you would support your loved ones, even if meant sacrificing a little bit for yourself.

fuzzy_dogs_mom

BlackLabbie

Oh, Jeremy has NO idea how portions work...

 To a man, a "portion" is whatever can be crammed on a plate without falling off the sides.

Joyce

...and then going back for seconds, maybe even thirds!

aerial1313

I went through a diet last year...lost 55 pounds and I have kept it off for almost a year now (will be a year next month). 

Congrats!!!

BlackLabbie

I know it's me who decides what I eat or don't eat, but it's very hard (especially in the begining) to be around the foods you love but really can't eat, then to have someone eat it right in front of you asking "do you want a bite?"....it's just hard!

Any advice?

Yeah, if you want it that much, have it!  Denying yourself will only make you want it more.  Have a little and eat it very, very slowly.  Chew carefully and thoroughly and put it down on your plate bewteen mouthfuls.  Don't talk, read or watch TV while you eat.  Enjoy it!  Listen carefully to your body and stop when you are no longer hungry.

OR, imagine that the cream cheese is actually pureed maggots and the bagel has lots of insects ground up in it.  Make taht as vivid as you can and if you STILL want to eat it, I take my hat off to you!
 

Chuffy

OR, imagine that the cream cheese is actually pureed maggots and the bagel has lots of insects ground up in it.  Make taht as vivid as you can and if you STILL want to eat it, I take my hat off to you!
 

LOL, seriously anytime I craving that I will always think of pureed maggots