Well, that was creepy...

Yikes, that is really creepy... I think you definitely did the right thing by talking to the manager. If I were you, I would probably also go in and talk to the police - let them know that you're feeling really uncomfortable, and ask them if they have any advice. Maybe they'll run some extra patrols down your street or something. 

YIKES!  I would seriously be pissed if someone gave out my information!! 

Please please please be careful!  If he starts phoning you more, tell him straight out (don't worry about being nice) that you DON"T want him phoning you, that you aren't interested.  Sometimes when some people get thigns in their head, if you are niceish to them when letting them down, they may not think you mean it.  Be straight forward, don't worry about hurting feelings, tell him straight out NO!

If he phones again, tell him if he calls again you will phone police.  Do not make this an idle threat!  If he does phone again, you phone police and tell them everything.

Some people may think it would be irrational to phone police, but please do.

I have been stalked for the past 4 years now, going on 5 this august.  It started out a little similar to your situation, and only got worse and worse, to the point that now the guy is in the mental hospital in Toronto, and i have to go to review board meetings every 6 - 9 months to see if he will be released.  He has since threatened to, amongst other disturbing things, to kill me with a hammer.  It only gets worse.

If you think at all, in your gut that something isn't right about him, don't ignore it.  Luckily, the justice system is starting to really do something about stalking (they call it criminal harrassment here).  So please please please, if you have even the slightest thought something isn't right, phone, at least you will have a police report and he will have a warning.

If anything does get worse, or you need anyone to talk to, I'm here.  I also have a realllly handy book on safety tips to keep yourself safe and if you think things might escalate, what you can do.  I have already mailed a copy of the book to someone else on this forum and I don't mind send out another.

I'd be bothered by this too, especially him having a picture of you. How strange is that? He's obviously bold enough to go to some effort to track you down. Hopefully it's just an infatuation on his part and nothing more serious, but I'd definitely be paying close attention to things from now on.

I second all of l.michelle's advice--especially about the paper trail at the police.  The more history they have on the situation the more willing they are to do something if things get really serious.

Also--there was a situation with a kid in high school where he wanted me to go out with him but I wasn't interested, we were friends for awhile but then he started to get creepy and suggested that he might commit suicide if I didn't go out with him because his life would be over.  I wasn't playing around, and I called the police then, too, and they did a well person check.  They went to his house and asked if he was there (and alive) and talked to him.  That let him know that I was very serious and not going to take any crap, and he backed off and our friendship died as well.  I don't regret it to this day.  So, I suggest the police route.  Call them if you're worried, that's what they're there for.  Who cares if you bug them too much.

Creepy indeed!  He probably took the pic himself without you being aware of it ... how else would he have gotten it?  It sounds to me like he has the potential for being a real stalker.  I'd avoid him like the plague, and let your  family and people close to you know about him so if he starts hanging around your house or following you they're more likely to notice it.

Joyce

Yikes, that's really scary. I second all the others' suggestions about contacting the police. And keep an extra eye out around your neighborhood for him/his car, especially when you're walking Bear. You might want to consider carrying pepper spray; you can never be too careful!

 Maybe this guy just won the lottery and has nobody to share it with, then while at a friend's house who happens to have been at a place where you go and got a picture with you in the background, thinks maybe since you've always been polite and not annoying, you would be the best person to share his winnings with.  So he snags the photo, and tries to think where he's seen you before, but can only remember the track, so he heads over there and does some digging.  He figures if he can track you down in one day, whats the big deal.  And he manages to do it. 

Ya, not likely...wouldn't it be nice though?  I agree with everyone else.  If anything continues that you are uncomfy with, call the cops and at least ask for ideas on what you should do, and at what point they can take action.  My friend had a stalker for a couple years and for the first bit she just had friends tell him off for her.  By the time she got scared enough to tell the cops, it was really creepy.  They told her that she should have been reporting it all along so there would have already been a record and they could have put an immediate restraining order on him.  As it was he had to do 2 more things before they could take any action...

Funny you say that Candace, because when I was talking to the track manager, I said "I don't care if the Pope comes in here with a picture of me asking for my name - don't give it out!"

I don't want to assume because he's an older guy that he wouldn't try anything.  I am not a paranoid person, but this was pretty bizarre.  Did he think after 10 years of me turning him down that suddenly one night out of the clear blue when he contacted me outside of the public setting of the track, I'd say, "yeah, I think that's a great idea - let's go out."? 

Thanks everyone for the suggestions - police contact is a good idea.  I just didn't know if I had enough to give them and don't want to seem like a crazy woman. 

This poor (using term loosely) guy has been pursuing you for 10 YEARS!  This is sad and scary all at the same time.  Take it seriously and cautiously to be sure.  I completely agree that when you speak to him next, you firmly (yet diplomatically) make sure he understands that you have no interest and that he needs to stop his pursuit.

Please let your neighbors, family and friends know about this guy and making a police report would be a good idea as well considering the history.  They will give you lots of "well, we can't really do anything for you blah blah", but it will be on record that you reached out to the police.  Talk to someone in charge, in fact...go in since you are so close, get a business card.  Let them see your face, etc.

Best of luck with this.

I can honestly say the police will not mind you phoning them, they would rather you phone them and report it than not and have something happen.  I have a DVERS alarm, where if I press this button anywhere on my property and up my street a bit all the police working will drop what they are doing and come straight to my house as a 1st priority call, and I was told by them that they would rather have 10 false alarms than one real situation where I didn't press it.

Also, you might call your local victim witness assistance program people, they would be able to help you with some ideas of how to stay safe, somethings you might not think of doing

Pepper spray is a great idea, as well as getting a taser, i know those are legal in the usa.  Please be safe!!

I will say to you the VERY same thing I would say to my daughters, granddaughters or Friends..... Get a Paper Trail going,   If need be call the reverse directory and get his address.  Once you have it write him a letter and have it delivered certified ( keep a copy of the letter and the mailing information)  In it tell him his recent inquiries are out of line and you find them offensive. That being polite over the years was never intended to be encouragement of any kind. You are NOT interested in a relationship with him of any kind. That you will report any further contact from him as unwelcomed and harrassment . Should he not understand this , be very clear that you will get an order of protection. And that you are not wishy washy about this, he overstepped himself and needs to be informed that it is totally unappreciated or acceptable.

You may pause and tell yourself he is an older guy not a "real" threat to you that maybe you over reacted.... NO.   Being 60 is not an indicator of being old. I am 51 and my husband is 67 works , is very active and a load of fun.  Not that my Hubs needs it but with Little Blue pills guys in the 90s are still "active"  !! 

This person intruded on your private life. He was not encouraged to contact you and the fact that he has a photo , that you did not give him is creepy and worrisome. At some point this man took this photo without your knowing or approving. That kind of action is not acceptable.  He then took that photo and asked about you to people who could be strangers themselves, No woman needs that kind of attention drawn to herself. It puts you in to an increasingly vunerable state.  If this was happening to a 13 year old and the person trying to hook up was in his 20s would you feel that was okay??  Obviously not,   just because you are an adult and he is older than you the threat does not vanish and the offense is not minimized.

Is it possible , like others suggested , your being polite or friendly in a professional manner was mistaken by a lonely person as interest in himself.  But the fact that you have turned him down for over 11 years means this person does NOT care that you are not interested, but believes you can be made to change your mind .  Take this seriously. When your Creep meter goes off it is does for a reason,  do not ignore that Uh oh feeling , it is what keeps most of us out of trouble !!

Bonita of Bwana

I think everybody's advise is very good, I only want to second Rupert's mom advise: get the pepper spray!!

And Bear: be aware, take a good care of your mom!

Tina, it looks like you've got great advice already, so I'll just say "be safe."