Is there anything I can do??

Have you talked to Child Protection Services yet? I think you really should. If nothing else, they should be able to tell you what to do to help. 

I guess that will be what I have to do.  Someone has to protect my niece and I guess that someone will be me. 

I dont really have any advice, and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.  I just wanted to say you are doing the right thing by trying to protect your niece.   I hope everything works out for the best, for you and your family.

I would notify authorities as soon as possible.Your sister needs help and the child need protection.   Good Luck.

When you call, you can asked to be evaluated as a temporary foster home which would keep her out of the "system" per se.

Chris needs to see an attorney and speak privately in a confidential setting to see what he needs to do in order to have Angela removed from Jennifer's care and placed in his..

Although if he hasn't taken this step yet then I wonder if he is able to do it. If Chris is aware that of all of these incidents and hasn't taken action then perhaps he wouldn't be the best person to be Angela's guardian.

Do you know someone who is an attorney specializing in family issues? Talking to child protective services is a good idea and may be the only way.....but once that door opens Angela's options will narrow considerably. If you want to be named guardian or have another family member who could do it you may want to see if you can get some legal advice and lay some groundwork. It will ease things for Angela. She's lucky to have you watching out for her.

I'm sending you good thoughts. Good luck

polarexpress

but once that door opens Angela's options will narrow considerably

That's why I am so hesitant to call.  I don't want Angela to end up in foster care.  My sister says that she loves Angela but I think she is just saying that to make herself look good.  I have been telling Chris that he needs to talk to an attorney but it's like he's not listening.  I told him that he needs to go and get the ball rolling on this divorce and get the paper work for custody of Angela.  He will have sole custody because well, lets face it, Jennifer doesn't want Angela.  She just doesn't want Chris to have her either.  But with Jennifer's past drug and jail history, she knows that she is not going to get full custody.  I just wish that there was someway to notify the cops and have them watch her when she is out and about.  There's just not enough cops to do that and a private investigator is expensive.  But I know one thing, if a PI followed her around for one day, he'd have enough on her that Chris would definitely be able to deny Jennifer visitation with Angela. 

I just learned something that I didn't know.  I cannot call DSS on Jennifer.  It would be useless considering Jennifer and Chris haven't filed the paperwork for their divorce or custody.  I guess I am back to square one. 

Bullymom

I don't want Angela to end up in foster care

Good point. But, I'm sure, you don't want her to end up in the hospital or the morgue. Take Angela to the hospital and get the bruising documented. Get copies of Sis' prior arrest record. Gather what evidence you can of her drug use. With this, your brother-in-law might stand a chance of getting at least shared custody.

My brother, when he lived in New Hampshire, divorced his wife. There is a recorded incident of her shaking their child, my neice. She once attacked my brother, who is a brown belt in Karate. He could have knocked her out but didn't. So she got arrested. She is a clinically diagnosed manic depressive but wouldn't keep up with her meds. On top of that, she was going out with friends for drinking and other party materials. And she claimed on WIC while she was still married to him. But the judge refused to severe her custody and so they share joint custody. That is, short of a mother being convicted of murder, it is very difficult to gain full custody without evidence and a sharp lawyer. But it can be done. He could really put pressure on her by insisting they both submit to UA's or blood tests for any illicit substances, at a moments notice.

My friends who adopted a girl to be their daughter (our goddaughter) ran through some of the same thing with the girl's biological mother. She couldn't give up the party life and loser after loser. But she had enough sense to see that her life was not fit for a child and surrendered her custody rights.

It's not easy but it can be done.

ron2

She couldn't give up the party life and loser after loser. But she had enough sense to see that her life was not fit for a child and surrendered her custody rights.

I wish my sister would do that.  She does not care for Angela the way a mother should.  She lets two little girls (ages 5 and 7) "babysit" Angela.  WTF??  Those little girls cannot even babysit a dead dog, let alone Angela.  I have heard Jennifer tell Angela to "Just get the f*** away from her"  What kind of mother says that to her child?  I have told Chris about this and I also told him about some pot and a bong that I saw IN Jennifer's house but he doesn't seem too worried.  He is going to wait until something bad happens to Angela, then it's too late.  I don't want it to come to that.  I love Angela like she is my own and I am going to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.  I have talked to my husband and we are willing to take Angela in if it comes down to it.

I don't know any history here and I just read about it for the first time here, but I just want to caution you. Be careful what you do. These things aren't easily undone. In my opinion, you should do nothing. Chris should be the one to take action. He's the child's father, right? If YOU (an outsider) call or report or whatever, he could lose Angela, too.

I wonder why he's not stepping up to the plate?

And also, Angela's going to be grown some day. If she knows you were the instigator to have her taken away from her mom... it could get very ugly. Chris needs to do whatever needs to be done, in my opinion.

Just my uneducated opinion. Good luck!  

You can do 2 things, stand back and let things unfold, or step in and stop the madness. Neither choice will be easy and both come with a possible lifetime of pain.

I will point out that good intentions, as wonderful as they sound, do no good. Your brother in law needs to lay the law down and stop letting her into your sisters care full stop. By giving in he is doing several things, endangering your niece and letting your sister see that there are no consequences for her actions. He is also not facing the truth nor being a responsible parent. No one said it would be easy, but it must be done in the interest of the child. If he does nothing he also risks losing custody.

I would work on your BIL, and get any other family members willing to help involved. Do not gang up on him, but make your point. The only other thing you can do is call CPS and report them BOTH. And yes you risk losing family over the ordeal, the biggest thing you have decide is if it is worth it. I personally would rather have my gloriously alive niece, sister and BIL hate me for the rest of my life, it would hurt me, break my heart, but I could live with that pain if it means they are all safe.

Good Luck.

FourIsCompany

And also, Angela's going to be grown some day.

MAYBE. If she's riding around in a car with a coked up mom, unbuckled and standing in the front seat, I'm not so sure we can say that she'll make it to adulthood. Also, being in that kind of environment is TOXIC. The cycle almost always repeats and her future would probably be extremely bleak.

I understand the point that efforts to help could backfire. But on the other hand, how can you just do NOTHING to try and help? It's definitely a very sticky situation. From a lot of the foster homes that I've seen/heard of, unfortunately I don't think going into foster care would be any better.

It's a real shame that Angela's father won't do anything. He is JUST as guilty as her mother because he's knowingly allowing her to be put in harms way over and over again. :(

The father is just as bad as the mother in this situation.  Having drugs around your child and putting her in harms way is awful, but sending her to a person who is doing that is just as bad!  You need to get the child out of this situation.  If you sit around, its going to continue.  Foster care is not the best choice, but its better than being dead and learning that this behavior is OK.  That is what is happening right now...shes learning that is behavior is acceptable.  They are sentencing her to the same future as they have!  I would speak with an attorney and try to get Angela.  Her father is not capable of caring for her either if he sends her to a place where he knows she has access to drugs and is in physical danger every time.  Its not called being nice and giving her visitation, its called being stupid and putting your child in harms way.

Sorry if that was tough.  I just cannot stand to see this happen because I know people who have done the same thing.  In my opinion, its best to be blunt and say what needs to be said.