Dog Community

What would you do? A neighborhood etiquette question.

Posted : 5/30/2006 8:43:13 PM

We just moved into a house with a pool. Apparently the people that lived here before had kids - we don't - and this was the summer gathering place.

So now we have kids knocking on the door asking to use the pool. The thing is, we don't have a problem with the direct next-door neighbors and their kids using it - we've gotten pretty friendly with them, but we don't want every kid on the block down here all the time. And there will be strict rules for anyone using it.

We're remodeling the house and landscaping the front and back yards and we feel like the pool is a luxury for us to relax in, not the neighborhood babysitter. Are we being too stingy?

So far I've just told these kids (2 last weekend, 1 just now) to come back with their moms and they haven't yet but I don't really know exactly what to say to them without sounding like a grouch.

What would you do/say?

marty_ga

Posted : 5/30/2006 9:03:49 PM

Be a grouch...if a child gets hurt, you are responsible.

twelvepaws

Posted : 5/30/2006 9:24:51 PM

Agreed. Your response was perfect. You are not the babysitter. They can bring their parent, only when you don't mind them there, and the parent can watch them. I think it's pretty tacky for the parents to allow their kids to even ask you.

Sera_J

Posted : 5/30/2006 9:37:31 PM

(off topic, Nancy what a fierce picture! [

] Cute, I love it!)

Hopefully the parents don't know that the kids are doing that.

I agree, you're an adult, you're expected to be a bit of a grouch, anyway! [

] It's your house, your pool and what you do now is going to set the tone for the rest of the time you're in that neighborhood.. so, if you have them over now, they will always be there. If you assert that things are different now that you're a different owner it will nip it in the bud. Once you get to know the families, you can INVITE them over later. But, I'd say to keep them out until you get to know them, such as the case of the immediate next door neighbors.

Goodluck! [

]

Kate

Posted : 5/30/2006 9:39:42 PM

I agree 100%. A pool is a huge liability. I think even with the parent's consent, if a child drowns in your pool you are liable.

Plus, your pool, your perogative. Even if the old owners welcomed all these kids, you're not them and therefore they should not be so presumptuous regarding the usage of the pool. It's not a community pool...it's your backyard! If they want to swim, they should consider getting their own pool.

cindy w.

Posted : 5/30/2006 9:53:04 PM

How tacky................
I cant imagine them even asking.
Too much risk for you, I certainly would say no....

sooner

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:00:48 PM

Thanks for the reassurance - I just didn't want to be considered the grouchy lady on the street. [&:] But we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

Our basic rules are that both of us have to be here so one can be outside and one can be in with the dogs. They're good dogs but haven't ever had the chance to be exposed to excited screaming kids and one or more of the kids parents MUST be here. That in itself may be a deterrent - they're probably hoping they can dump the kids off or whatever.

loveukaykay

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:01:09 PM

I wouldn't even consider it, like you said... that's YOUR luxury now... and you would most likely end up annoyed with yourself for letting it happen. And once you do, they will always be there and then you've really got a problem. As was said, I hope the parents dont know about that and I like your response to come back with the parents because either 1) the parent will be horrified and not allow them to go back again or 2) the will not feel like it... but most likely they don't know about this and would be upset to find it out. And, if a child and their parent do show up at your door, you can always lie and say your too busy or you have company or are just about to leave or whatever.

When we bought our house the kid who lives next door was over here with the kid who lived here. We always see him outside riding his bike, but hes never asked us to use it thank goodness, I wouldnt let him anyway.

cakana

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:03:35 PM

Similar situation, but the guy who lived here before us had 2 young children that the kids next door were very close to. It was obvious they were disappointed when we moved in and had no children. We put in a pool right after moving in and had to have a strict policy of no kids unless parents were around. My feeling is that once I allow them to use the pool, I accept total responsibility for making sure they're safe and there are no problems. Since I can't devote hours to sitting and watching the neighbor's children playing in my pool, I just say "I'm sorry, but I'm real busy right now".

boneyjean

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:14:34 PM

I couldn't agree more...a pool is a huge liability. I wouldn't let them swim without their parents there, if at all. This is your home and as you said, the pool is your luxury. You have worked hard to have these things and you should not let the fact that someone else used to let all the neighborhood kids swim there make you feel like you have to or that you are a grouch for not letting them. You have a different lifestyle then the last people that lived there. The kids will adjust and learn to respect it hopefully. In the future you may find that you enjoy having some more of them over, but I would think when they have been invited and not when they are just showing up when it is convenient for them!

jeano

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:31:24 PM

Even with the parents there, I think it's a HUGE imposition. And if they ignore their kid and he drowns, they are still going to sue YOU.

No. No no no no no.

Lots of places have very serious laws about kid-proof fences being required around pools, because children will sneak into peoples' pools as well.

They should be directed to the local public pool.

He is The Boss

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:35:46 PM

Your pool, your yard, your insurance, your upkeep on the pool.. YOUR RULES!!

If you start out letting it happen, then it will just continue and instead of being the grouch on the street, you will be the free babysitter. If you invite them, it's a different story and yes, their parents should be there. Maybe after you get settled (and provided you even want to), you can have a pool party and invite a few of them over with parents and lay out the ground rules to them then in front of their parents. Maybe the parents don't even know the kids are doing it.

garrettandpaul

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:41:24 PM

I would say absolutely do not allow them to start or it will never stop. Also like others have said it's a big liability issue if someone were to even get hurt god forbid drown..Better to be the grouch than be unhappy liing there with 20 kids screaming an yelling in your yard that aren't yours.

dackelfan

Posted : 5/30/2006 10:47:10 PM

I personally would tell the kids "no". You are not the neighborhood babysitter. This pool ought to be for your enjoyment only. ( you won't be able to relax and enjoy it while watching a bunch of children in your pool).
Do you have a fence around your pool by any chance? I wonder, because kids can be sneaky and might try to get in the pool when you are not there.
( someone we know recently lost their child to drowning in a pool. We have had quite some grief over the past couple of years because of deaths, but this was one of the most horrible events..knowing that this happened to this parcticular child).
I can imagine kids asking to go in the pool because they are just being kids. I hope none of their parents are asking or expecting you to have your pool readily available to their children.

sooner

Posted : 5/30/2006 11:04:15 PM

Oh how horrible!

There's a six foot wooden privacy fence around the yard, the pool isn't fenced seperately though. There are two gates, one is padlocked.