Question from another thread..

When DW is working late, Shadow will look where she usually sits. I will tell him, in english, "She's at work right now. She'll be home in a while."
 
Then he looks at me and then picks a spot for a nap.
 
 

Billy, do your incredible powers of communication across species also enable you to communicate better with women?  If so, I know someone that would sign you up for a book deal!

This has to be the funniest thread I've read in a while!  humor is GOOD FOR YOUR SOUL! 

ORIGINAL: Xerxes

Billy, do your incredible powers of communication across species also enable you to communicate better with women?  If so, I know someone that would sign you up for a book deal!

 
Unfortunately, no.  I don't have a clue when it comes to women and I have a long, long, track record to prove it.

I don't have a clue when it comes to women and I have a long, long, track record to prove it

 
I see we're members of the same club.
 

ORIGINAL: probe1957

Unfortunately, no.  I don't have a clue when it comes to women and I have a long, long, track record to prove it.

Hey Billy, dont be a:

ORIGINAL: ron2
I see we're members of the same club.

 
Just like any club that would have us Ron, this one isn't very exclusive.  []
 
Why couldn't I have been born rich instead of so damned good looking?

Unfortunately, no. I don't have a clue when it comes to women and I have a long, long, track record to prove it.

 
That's easy.  Take what you think you heard and reverse it 180 degrees.  That is what she actually meant.
 
That works in all cases except intimate relations, clothes, hair and weight.  In these cases there is no right answer.
 
Example:
 
Your wife goes and spends the bazillion dollars they spend at the hair salon. 
When she gets home she asks if you like her new hair style.  "Watch it this is a trap!!!"
If you answer Yes then she comes back with how could you let her go around for so long in the old style since it must have looked like crap.
If you answer No then she comes back with how she spent a bazillion dollars and all the pain and suffering she went through to look pretty for you and why didn't you stop her from going to the salon since you liked the hair the way it was.
Your only solution to a problem such as this is to answer "What ever you like" and to quickly change the subject.  Talk about how much weight she has lost!!! 
 
 
 
 

ORIGINAL: timsdat

That's easy.  Take what you think you heard and reverse it 180 degrees.  That is what she actually meant.

That sounds to me like the old "no means yes", then you touch her bobbie and you get a slap in the face [], so confusing [8D]

ORIGINAL: timsdat

Unfortunately, no. I don't have a clue when it comes to women and I have a long, long, track record to prove it.

That's easy.  Take what you think you heard and reverse it 180 degrees.  That is what she actually meant.

That works in all cases except intimate relations, clothes, hair and weight.  In these cases there is no right answer.

Example:

Your wife goes and spends the bazillion dollars they spend at the hair salon. 
When she gets home she asks if you like her new hair style.  "Watch it this is a trap!!!"
If you answer Yes then she comes back with how could you let her go around for so long in the old style since it must have looked like crap.
If you answer No then she comes back with how she spent a bazillion dollars and all the pain and suffering she went through to look pretty for you and why didn't you stop her from going to the salon since you liked the hair the way it was.
Your only solution to a problem such as this is to answer "What ever you like" and to quickly change the subject.  Talk about how much weight she has lost!!! 

[sm=funnypost.gif]

JJ.

I actually have had the conversation with my GF after she came from getting her hair done.  Worst is when I don't even notice a difference and there usually isn't a big enough difference to notice.
 
Ok here is another one.  GF buys new style of jeans and asks me if her butt looks smaller in them.  Again no good answer I'm trapped.  If I answer no then I get the "so my butt looks big".  If answer Yes then it's "why didn't you tell me I had a big butt,  Everyone must be making fun of me behind my back".  Now, we are talking about a woman who is about 5'1" and 115 lbs and wears a size 8.
 

have you ever tried"Damn girl,you ought to know by now that you make everything look good"Or some such variation...[]

have you ever tried"Damn girl,you ought to know by now that you make everything look good"Or some such variation...

 
Then you get the "Sniff Sniff,  Sometimes I try so hard to look good for you and I don't look any better  Sniff Sniff". 
 
See this really is inter-species communication.
 

Ok here is another one. GF buys new style of jeans and asks me if her butt looks smaller in them. Again no good answer I'm trapped. If I answer no then I get the "so my butt looks big". If answer Yes then it's "why didn't you tell me I had a big butt, Everyone must be making fun of me behind my back". Now, we are talking about a woman who is about 5'1" and 115 lbs and wears a size 8.

LMAO!

Can you try to avoid the specific question just by saying “honey your butt ALWAYS looks good!”[8D]     that way you avoid the “smaller versus larger” question altogether?  If she starts to resort back to the original question,  ask her about the jeans, where she got them, tell her you like the style and then tell her she looks good in them.  If you throw enough complements out there, she might forget the original question! []

  Women are quite unfair to men, I must say. We give them “loaded questions#%92 all the time.  I try to help DH out a bit.

  For example, when I go to get my hair done I am sure to remind him right before I leave that I am going there.  Then, when I get home, he has become accustomed to saying, “come here into the good light so I can see it”. Then, he compliments me and if he looks confused as to what I have actually DONE to my hair, I am sure to point things out like “I had her put more highlights in the front.. what do you think?” OR, I had her go a little shorter with my layers.. do you like it?”.  Then he has specific things he can comment on.

  It seems really silly, but it is a game we play.  I HELP him to notice stuff that he would get into trouble for NOT noticing.  It is “cheating” I know, but I am kind that way.[]

Can you try to avoid the specific question just by saying “honey your butt ALWAYS looks good!”

 
Actually I just invoke my 5th amentment rights.  "I refuse to anwer on the grounds that no matter how I answer I will get in trouble."
 
Really,  We have been together for 20 years now and know each other like the back on my hand.  It's a little game we play as I have pointed this little traps out and she trys to trap me again.