DumDog
Posted : 4/12/2007 11:30:56 PM
ORIGINAL: Liesje
Having taken criminal investigations, I got into the habit of checking the MI PSOR whenever I move. It doesn't really affect my decision, but I like to know where to be careful. You have to know how to read the PSOR and what those crimes really mean. If there's a 20 year old listed for having consensual sex with his 17 year old girlfriend, I don't really care to know that and don't feel threatened. Our PSOR is pretty strict, meaning they put a LOT of people on there and most of the "offenders" are third degree (situations like I just mentioned). I'd hate to see irate mothers picketing in front of people's houses over something like that.
However, when I lived in my first college house I walked to school/work everyday, often late at night b/c I prefered night classes, and always had to pass the home of a convicted rapist. I didn't really avoid him or treat him bad, in fact I never once really saw him, but I'm glad I had the right to check on something like that. The recidivism rate for these types of crimes speaks for itself.
i agree with that. my mom is the type of person that says "wrong is wrong!" meaning even if it was consentual, she would still report someone who had sex with a 15 yr old, even if the other party was 16.. the reason there are laws protecting 14 yr olds (most of them will argue that they arent kids anymore and that they are grown, able to make their own decisions etc etc bla bla bla) but for every know it all teen, there is an equally naive innocent who will trust someone just because they are older. the ones that are naive and innocent are the ones that get lured in and hurt.
i also know that not everyone who is tried and convicted is guilty. i know this for an honest to God fact. It DOES matter who has the best lawyer, most money, and all that jazz. It almost happened to someone i love very much and is very close to me. his exwife wanted to move to another state, he didnt want to, she said she would go one way or another, with or without him, and no matter the cost. So.... she accused him molesting their own child. His kid was old enough to say he didnt, but the "experts" said what does she know? she's just a child. she loves her dad.... a little TOO much,isnt that odd? look how protective she is over him! OBVIOUSLY she is afraid of him or... something else is happening.... Fortunately his exwife lost the case. everyone and their brother came to his aid, they got new counselors for the kid, they poked and prodded her so many times, found nothing. the judge threw the case out. But not before his wife escaped to Vermont with their kid.. legally of course. So she got her way. She darn near ruined a man and his life for ever...So because that hit so close to home with me.. when i hear someone accuse or suspect... i'm automatically on the defense and want to know the whole story and all the circumstances.
Now, if i cant get that information, then i have a plan. I teach my kids not to trust anyone they feel uncomfortable with. strangers or family (cause you just never know, right?) I also plan to teach them "Stranger Danger", dont get in anyones car, dont "help someone find the lost puppy or kitty", no candy from strangers, do not enter anyone's house unless they are on the safe list.
Its like i said in another thread.. there's a reason for Fairy Tales. people in the old days had to come up with creative ways to protect their kids. An Ogre that eats children lives in the woods. There is a witch in the house at the end of the lane... the big bad wolf, goblins, trolls, etc. etc. Not because kids were dumb and wouldnt understand what a child molestor was... but people back then didnt give kids credit for being smart enough. maybe some werent.. But the same principles apply..... a monster is a monster and you have to relay that to your child somehow.
If i ever found that we lived near a convicted sex offender i feel like i would have to educate my kids on what that means. I plan to educate them anyway on that stuff, but it has to be done a certain way. when i was a little kid, around three, i was a free spirit. ran around in just my underpants and nothing else.. indoors or out. My mom didnt care, i was a free spirit. My grandmother couldnt stand it. One day when my mom wasnt looking she pulled me aside and told me i needed to start wearing my clothes because if i didnt boys would mess with me and try to touch me. Well, she scared me good and proper and i never wore anything more revealing than a long sleeved sweater and jeans for YEARS! i wasnt comfortable in anything except that.. i hated wearing dresses or anything girly or pretty. my mom and i always fought over that.. my grandmother meant well, but she didnt explain herself better. she didnt tell me that if someone DID touch me that i had a right to say stop it. she also didnt say that wearing clothes is not exactly protection from someone molesting you... i found that out all by myself!!
So yes, Dont live in fear or run away. they are human, mistakes are made, people lie, and you have the ability to train your kids of the dangers. the world is not any more or less dangerous than it was a hundred years ago.. or two hundred years ago. theres just as many perverts as ever. we just hear about them more and have the ability to look them up on the net. Use that to your advantage, but never cower from them! I dont think you should go after them with pitch forks either. Just let them know you're not afraid. look them in the eye when you must, and go about your business.