holidays depressing?

I am sorry you feel that way.
I usually get depressed after Christmas, all the hype,and then a complete let down because it is over.
 
Why do you think you can't enjoy it ?

The Christmas holidays are my absolute favorite so I don't really feel depressed in general.  Although, I am feeling a little depressed and maybe a little more anxious about how much money I have overspent.  I am feeling broke and a little overextended and frantic.  I am really good at managing our money and it is no problem, but I still can't help but feel this way...especially this year since we bought a house and our mortgage is WAY more than I originally thought we would pay...although we are having no trouble paying it.  I think a lot of people feel this way and have buyers remorse as well.
This year has been harder though b/c DH lost his dad this year at a pretty young age.  Then his cousin commit suicide and his aunt passed away as well.....she was more expected.  The Holidays are really hard this year b/c it isn't like we can go and be with his family and get away from our own sorrow b/c everyone else in his family is dealing with 3 losses as well.  We ended up spending Thanksgiving with my family this year which was nice and cheery and will spend Christmas with them too.  His daughter will be here too which will help for sure.

OK, so now that I have written a novel (must be the tequila talking []), to address your comment, I think I alot of people have a hard time around the holidays for a whole array or reasons.  I am sure you are not the only one!  I start feeling like the Christmas tree is cluttering up my house after awhile too.....even as much as I love it!

It is a known thing that happens to many, many people....here is an article...
 
So sorry you're feeling down, Bradley....if we can help then let us know, okay?
 
[linkhttp://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2006/12/15/news/top/66857bffccf8e1f4862572450016a43d.txt]http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2006/12/15/news/top/66857bffccf8e1f4862572450016a43d.txt[/link]

It's not just you. I do hope you get to feeling better. I get a very lonely type of depression around holidays. I'm an only child, my mom is an only child and my dad has one brother who lives out-of-state that we rarely see. Three of my grandparents are deceased. Our holidays were always pretty quiet, but since my parents divorced my mom and I go out to eat Christmas Eve and open presents then, and I go to my dad's and eat Christmas Day and that's about it for holiday celebrations. Sometimes I wish I had a huge family like some people, but then I hear about their holiday drama and I'm glad for my peace and quiet.

Being depressed during the holidays is pretty common... I've been there before though I am feeling good this year. December 22 is the longest night of the year - that's why so many cultures have a festival of light around that time... that alone can get you down even without all the family strife and money woes that the holidays can bring. I have some loved ones feeling a little blue these days and since I'm more in the spirit, I'm trying to spend time with everyone and hang out and have a little fun when I have the time.

It's not just you. I do hope you get to feeling better. I get a very lonely type of depression around holidays. I'm an only child, my mom is an only child and my dad has one brother who lives out-of-state that we rarely see. Three of my grandparents are deceased. Our holidays were always pretty quiet, but since my parents divorced my mom and I go out to eat Christmas Eve and open presents then, and I go to my dad's and eat Christmas Day and that's about it for holiday celebrations.

Bradley...what Kelly posted above is how I also felt for many years. To top it off, my divorced family was always competing to see me during the same 4 hour period and I always had to dissapoint someone. [&o]

I have great memories of the holidays as a kid, but my late teens and early 20#%92s were pretty crummy.  It wasn#%92t until I was about 25 that I started to feel a little different.  By this age I had been with DH and his kids for about my 3rd Christmas and we started to develop our own “family traditions”.  This really changed things for me.

  The holidays are still stressful and parts are a bit depressing BUT I always look forward to Christmas Eve because this is the time for JUST DH, the kids and I. We have our own holiday traditions including great food, walking to see holiday lights, opening stockings and the “annual x-mas PJ#%92s” and then the 4 of us cuddle up on the couch together in our new jammies and watching a year without a Santa Claus and Santa Claus is coming to town (childish I know…but very fun).  The kids are now 20 and 22…but even they look forward to this time and also dread the next day with their mom#%92s family…and for DH and I the next day is chaotic and sometimes a bit depressing dealing with so much of our families.

  Who knows WHY you feel this particular day around the holidays but what I am wondering is if you couldn#%92t start some neat holiday traditions with even just you and your wife and have something to look forward to??? The traditions we added really made all the difference for me and perhaps it would for you as well.

  Just a thought…      

A lot of people get depressed during the holidays.  I've always thought one reason is that we're all trying to have a "Norman Rockwell" Christmas and it just doesn't exist except in a couple of paintings. Another thing is that little nagging voice in our heads telling us we're overspending. I solved that one years ago by stashing a little money every month in a separate account in a different bank and just shopping with the debit card.  When the money runs out, the shopping stops, so I have to shop carefully if I want it to last - some years are better than others. That way, I don't charge anything and I know I'm not going to be getting any bills other than the usual ones in January.
 
Joyce

If you are looking for the 'holistic' thoughts, my holistic vet always says there are more animal deaths during the winter -- days are shorter, and everyone suffers from sunshine deprivation, but naturally (in 'nature') it is a time of death and passing away so that spring can come along and make all things new.
 
Realistically there's such focus on money and "stuff to do" and if you can't get your heart into what the season truly is about then it IS depressing.  Or if you have more month than money, or if you feel like you honestly can't 'please' anyone with what you can buy -- then t's a total downer.
 
For me, personally, the 'cure' is simply to shift the focus off my own crummy thots, and literally become someone elses 'answer'.  We volunteer (you can do anything from volunteer at your local shelter, to serving meals for the poor, or taking some of your own holiday cash to spend on toys for underpriviledged kids) more this time of year and it shifts OUR focus where it belongs.
 
Even if you aren't the "religious type" giving yourself the opportunity to think on what the season is and maybe *should* be can help you mentally switch gears.  I'd honestly heartily recommend seeing "The Nativity Story" -- it's not pushy at all -- just tells the 'story' as it was.
 
But honestly, just stepping outside your 'norm' to help others -- it's the fastest way I know of to make you realize just how easy you have it compared to others, and easing their load is gonna make you feel better.
 
But you're certainly not abnormal.  Not at all.

Bradley, you are so not alone in being depressed this time of year.  To me Christmas had always been a time of spending more than I really should for a day that was always torturous for me.  I grew up in an alcoholic household.  That was bad enough.  It was easier when I moved out & wasn't surrounded by it all the time.  Then the holidays show up & it's thrown back in my face.  It was always a time of playing like everything was okay when it wasn't.  It was always a living h*ll for me.  Now, this year is the first year without either of my parents.  Get this, we're STILL playing at making things normal.  I'm frankly tired of playing.  I definitely agree witth Callie.  One Christmas season I helped out with a local clothes bank.  They had a one night deal where alot of their clients came in & could take ANY of the donated items (clothes, toys, food, household items...) for free.  What an uplifting experience it was.  Here were people that had pretty much gotten the short straw most of their lives & their attitudes were amaziing.  I left feeling very humble yet uplifted by these people.

The holidays are still stressful and parts are a bit depressing BUT I always look forward to Christmas Eve because this is the time for JUST DH, the kids and I. We have our own holiday traditions including great food, walking to see holiday lights, opening stockings and the “annual x-mas PJ#%92s” and then the 4 of us cuddle up on the couch together in our new jammies and watching a year without a Santa Claus and Santa Claus is coming to town (childish I know…but very fun). The kids are now 20 and 22…but even they look forward to this time and also dread the next day with their mom#%92s family…and for DH and I the next day is chaotic and sometimes a bit depressing dealing with so much of our families.

i have been trying for several years to convince my parents, my wife, and my brother that we should all rent a house at the beach for a few days, and have christmas there. that way no one would be disappointed because things werent like they used to be or anything like that. it would be starting a new tradition.

getting the time off for everyone isnt really an issue either. my brother is a teacher so he is off. his wife doesnt work now. my dad always ends up with extra time he has to take at the end of the year so he has been off most of this month anyways. my mom is semi-self employeed so she sets her own schedule. i get the last week of the year off with my job, and until this year my wife had been getting the last week off too. at the very least i wish my wife and i could/would do a vacation around christmas. just me and my wife feels a little lonely though, even with the dogs.

ORIGINAL: sooner

It's not just you. I do hope you get to feeling better. I get a very lonely type of depression around holidays. I'm an only child, my mom is an only child and my dad has one brother who lives out-of-state that we rarely see. Three of my grandparents are deceased. Our holidays were always pretty quiet, but since my parents divorced my mom and I go out to eat Christmas Eve and open presents then, and I go to my dad's and eat Christmas Day and that's about it for holiday celebrations. Sometimes I wish I had a huge family like some people, but then I hear about their holiday drama and I'm glad for my peace and quiet.

my family is very large, but i do know what you mean about being torn. i do usually enjoy getting to see some family members that i really only get to see once or twice a year. we just got back from my mom's side of the family's christmas party. and i did have a good time. but there are just so many different factions to the family, it is hard to make an appearance at all the holiday festivities.

i think the biggest issue i have any more is feeling torn between what my family expects from us, what my wife wants to do, and what i want to do. plus the fact that my brother and his wife had a baby this year, so everything (schedule wise) is being dictated by them. right now we are having 2 more family things before christmas. we are supposed to have christmas at my parent's on the 23rd. go to my grandmother's on the 24th. and my brother is wanting people to come over to their house on the 25th (but i dont think we are doing that). not to mention, now my wife is wanting her son, girlfriend, and their son to come over on christmas (which i dont mind). all that stuff combined is getting a little overwhelming. i wish we could just have one or two days of it.

this year has seemed extra rushed. i am not sure why, it just has. plus this year there has been a lot of crappy stuff happening lately.

within the last month, both dogs have been sick. they are better now, but i was really worried about sydney for a while. not to say i wasnt worried about amelia, but she never really seemed as sick as sydney. and i knew in a day or so she would snap back to her old self. on top of all that, we had to have one of our cats pts just before thanksgiving. i havent posted anything about that before because it has been really hard for me to deal with. she was my first real pet outside of having pets as a kid at my parent's house. and, without going into a lot of details, i feel somewhat responsible for her getting to the point she was in.

neither of our cats have ever been lap cats. they would come to you for attention when they wanted it but otherwise just did their own thing. since we got the dogs, they spend a lot of their time in the rooms we have gated off, and it wasnt unusual to not really see them for a day or two sometimes. gidget had a history of illnesses in the past, and we didnt realize she was sick again until it was too late.

soo... all that + the fact that i usually get kinda depressed this time of year + extra stress at work last week and expecting the same this coming week = me feeling more depressed than normal. i think the reason (or part of the reason) i feel depressed around christmas/new years is because things seem to be ending in a way, and the new year doesnt seem like it is going to be all that different or better than the last. luckily, i have never felt suicidal or anything like that, just crappy.

my family is very large, but i do know what you mean about being torn. i do usually enjoy getting to see some family members that i really only get to see once or twice a year. we just got back from my mom's side of the family's christmas party. and i did have a good time. but there are just so many different factions to the family, it is hard to make an appearance at all the holiday festivities.

i think the biggest issue i have any more is feeling torn between what my family expects from us, what my wife wants to do, and what i want to do. plus the fact that my brother and his wife had a baby this year, so everything (schedule wise) is being dictated by them. right now we are having 2 more family things before christmas. we are supposed to have christmas at my parent's on the 23rd. go to my grandmother's on the 24th. and my brother is wanting people to come over to their house on the 25th (but i dont think we are doing that). not to mention, now my wife is wanting her son, girlfriend, and their son to come over on christmas (which i dont mind). all that stuff combined is getting a little overwhelming. i wish we could just have one or two days of it.

Bradley, so based on what you have written above...you and your wife NEED to go away just the two of you like you mentioned in responce to my post.  OR I think the beach house thing is a fantastic idea.  Again, for me it is just about starting a new tradition an making things more simple.

I am totally overwhelmed by Christmas day between my divorced family and DH's divorced family too. This year we are starting another NEW tradition and that is going in the RV to the mountains on Christmas day and just spending a week relaxing with just Dh and I and the dogs. You might be surprised that instead of "boring" like you are expecting with just you and your wife, it might be just relaxing for the two of you.

We are still doing the great christmas eve stuff with he kids and brunch at moms the next morning but by noon we are off and driving to the mountains to relax. Christmas night will be the two of us wrapped up in our warmest clothes and steamed crab legs for two while watching a foreign film. To me that sounds like HEAVEN and I think it will end up being an annual tradition.   Perhaps after the holidays you and DW can plan something "away" from everything for next year?
 

on top of all that, we had to have one of our cats pts just before thanksgiving.

Oh Bradley...I am so sorry  [&o]  With all that has been going on it is no wonder that you are feeling the way that you are.

Think positive thoughts for 2007! []