More on homeschooling. Yes, you have to be very dedicated to your child (children's) education. The ones who "crash and burn" don't represent a failure of the approach, any more than flunkouts mean traditional schooling is vitally flawed. In most cases these are people who aren't flexible enough or alert enough to address problems - but traditional schooling has a lousy track record when it comes to addressing abnormalities, too.
Traditional schooling destroyed my brother, who is a Mensa-level genius and works as a stockboy at the age of 44. When he started school he told everything he wanted to build rockets for NASA. Since he was already building complicated constructs from lego it was highly possibly he would have been some kind of engineer. He will never get his life back and I don't want that for my kids, so we've made huge sacrifices so they can be homeschooled.
Meet my family: PJ is seven and a half and has sensory integration issues. Going out of his comfort zone is very distracting. He is very socially-oriented, but highly reserved (due to the sensory integration stuff), verbally focused, and his learning styles are analytical and abstract. He works best when he's sitting on a comfortable bed or the couch, surrounded by pictures of his family, his stuffed animal, and his beta fish, Mr. Fishy. He learns things by reciting them - fixing the words in his mind and making verbal connections or mnemonics.
He's also extremely sensitive - the perfect bait for a bully. Being at home has allowed me to walk him gradually into the world, so that now he can calmly tell me about the boys who pick on him at church or in camp (or even at the park), and he knows how to deal with it. I was able to correct certain tendencies in his personality as they emerged, rather than having to address them when they were big enough problems to attract the attention of a homeroom teacher or playground monitor.
PJ did not learn to read until just a few months ago. I had him in a phonics program but as he hit roadblocks, would switch up approaches until we hit one that helped him progress. Teachers in a traditional environment (unless we got lucky) would have been freaking out and putting all kinds of pressure on him - and I can guarantee you he would have shut down forever. Our pediatrician said don't sweat it, just keep giving him the opportunity to learn, and he would come around eventually. Then he switched on like a light bulb a few weeks ago and now he's reading ABOVE his grade level!
In other subjects we can combine pursuing what he likes and "pushing the envelope" on his sensory issues - using the things he enjoys as doorways into expanding his comfort zone. His progress in this respect has been tremendous. I just about cried last year when he did all the equipment in his class at The Little Gym, participated in games which involved getting touched by other children, and even did things like allow himself to be turned upside-down. We wouldn't have time for gymnastics if he were in school, because of our distance from everything.
Joey is five and a half. I have no doubt he'd be classified as ADHD in a traditional setting. He's brilliant, kinetic, notices everything, says little but moves much, and is impulsive to the point of being out of control. He loves dirt, and playing outside, and climbing things, and animals (the dirtier and nastier the better), and he adores his big brother.
He's also got a stubborn streak the size of the Mississippi when he thinks he HAS to do something. Nothing makes him run to the contrary faster than thinking he's about to be put in a box. He hates having his choices taken away. He's GOT to have options. His learning style is random and concrete. He works best when he is at a table, with few distractions, but with the option to get up and recite something or read aloud, while walking around. If he can handle something or draw a picture of it, he's got it forever.
Joey already knows all fifty states, their location, their capitals and a distinguishing characteristic. His brother does too but that's not as impressive in second grade as in kindergarten. [
]He reads at a second grade level, also. By the way, he only started school three months ago. But he was born into learning as a way of life - it's not really "school" to him, just what we do here.
Instead of spending an hour on the school bus, then getting marched around like a wee soldier, forced to go here and sit there, be quiet for hours on end, don't touch this, don't wiggle, don't talk - he gets up and spends some time running around doing chores, then we do a few hours of school punctuated with more running around time, and then he's at home already so no bus ride home. Again, I can ease him into doing what is difficult for him, by structuring it around what he loves most - or offering things like computer time in exchange for doing some really difficult thing (like sitting through an entire spelling test).
Oh, and he's also dysphastic - this is a more serious version of dysplasia which involves spatial and verbal confusion - or "different" perception, as I am told (though I spend my time confused - I have this too - and have yet to find the supposed advantage, lol). He didn't talk until he was nearly three. He still says sentences backwards and of course his writing is attrocious. We've hit a wall on spelling, but remember he's reading and doing work two years above his age level. We've got plenty of time to catch him up there. Again, in a traditional setting he'd be getting hammered on and pressured and he'd probably be in a special ed program. The thing is, he's smart enough to overcome his own handicaps but HE has to figure out how to do it. One whiff of "have to" and you've lost him.
We've also been able to improve his self control to the point where no one can believe he is ADHD or whatever you'd call it. We've done this by taking small steps and giving him lots of time to get his "ya-yas" out.
He wants to be a doctor - he's almost certain already. He pursues self-directed studies in the sciences and he LOOOOOVES math.
Both of them "play school" when they are not actually doing work. They love to read non-school stuff, love to talk about school, are wildly creative, and don't mind when I tell them they can only play on the computer for 30 min each, per day. I take each opportunity to talk to them about not only facts, but health, social behavior, and ethics (recent discussions, why you wouldn't want to do things to mess up your body, like smoking, an important subject here in North Carolina, and another, why we don't kill good bugs). People tell me they are very nice kids - enough people have told me this, that I have begun to believe it! [
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I've been happy with the homeschooling project so far. It will only get better - the first couple years are the most difficult, especially with special needs children. Next year PJ will start a self-directed computer-based curriculum (he can't wait - his computer time is so limited now he thinks it will be a big treat!).
Homeschooling won't work for everyone but it's almost always possible to make it work. People need to know that this option exists and that the natural state of children is
not sitting for eight hours in a hive-like setting.
And no, I don't have any responsibility to "make" my local schools work, sorry. First they make school compulsory, taking responsibility from the parents, and then they say the problem is not enough involvement from the parents? Meanwhile, all of them are busily indoctrinating the community's children in philosophies totally contrary to my own (our local school explained wicca and encouraged the children to dress up as earth gods and goddesses or witches and warlocks during Halloween), while totally and miserably failing to convey the basics of either acceptable social behavior or the three Rs. I'm glad we don't even pay property taxes directly anymore. No thanks.