I'm always feeling sick.

I am not one to talk as I smoke 6-7 cigs a day. HA! Why do I even smoke??!?!
I will say THIS:
Do it cold turkey or with the nicotine patch. Don't let your doc convince you to try some anti-depressant to quit. Mine gave me zyban. Craaaazy me (who is actually an ANXIOUS person) tried it and it threw me into panic attacks. WORST FEELING EVER.

I need to quit too. I also go outside to smoke, but I need to quit.
What I think will help me is I'm a fitness nut. I work out just about everyday. That will release tension and stress AND make you feel better about yourself. TRUST ME.
I haven't fully quit due to fear of those GOD AWFUL panic attacks coming back *shivers*

You may be subconsciously justifying your not quitting with various excuses which are doing nothing but sabotaging you ability to do so. 
 
 Stop doing that.  Who cares if you go out at night and have a drink and a smoke, dont have the smoke.  Who cares if your DH wont quit with you, you do it anyway.  You dont "need" the break, you want a smoke when you take a break, dont smoke during a break.
 
Not to make light of how difficult it will be for you... but just to motivate you to not get sucked into the.. "well, ..." and end up with a reason why its harder for you than say someone else.  You know its going to be hard.  You have to totally commit to quitting, and quit.
 
It takes two weeks for ANY drug or substance to leave the bodys completely (not all take that long but ALL do leave after that time)... so after two weeks, its all mental.  Maybe sooner Im not sure how long before niccotine is completely flushed.  The point after a certain time, its all you and your desire to stop.
 
I have never smoked so I dont know what your going through... but lots of people have quit which means so can you.  Good luck!
 
Also, Ive heard that patches just make it harder...

My sister gave me a good idea when I said I use it  for breaks etc. She said good, get yourself a coloring book and the crayola 64 crayons and when you would normally smoke, color, if you like to knit do that. My DH quit and I didn't but I don't smoke in the house or the car I haven't smoked in a building in 10 yrs.
My doctor told me if I could only smoke 5 cigarettes a day I wouldn't need to quit, but I can't even do that. You will do irreversible damage to your body believe me, I have.

Just one little word of advice here ... if you do quit and you find you've gained some weight DO NOT NOT NOT go the diet pill route.  My neice was taking them for about a month (she wasn't a smoker) and wound up having a heart attack last month at 39.  It was a mild heart attack and they had to put in a couple of stents, but the Dr. said she could never take diet pills again. She chose this particular pill (Xenadrine) because it was *ephedra free* and she just assumed in was safe.

Joyce

My mother has been smoking for about 45 years, she's 61 tomorrow but seriously looks like she's about 75.  What's really sad is that she has asthma, emphysema, COPD, and allergies and yet she continues to smoke.  She took care of my grandmother the last seven years of her life, watched my grandmother die from the SAME things she has and she still won't quit.  All three of my older brothers smoke; I'm the only one in the family who never has. Love yourself MORE than the habit and you'll find the strength to quit. As far as the pain and the lump goes, it's a shame you can't get in sooner to see the doc.  Maybe you could call to see if they can put you on a cancellation list?  Getting that out of the way might make you feel a little better. Good luck with everything.  I hope you're feeling better soon.

My father in law passed away this year from pancreatic cancer.  He smoked for over 30 years and quit 2 years ago.  Just enough time for his body to try to fight off all the damage the 30 years of smoking did and overfight and cause cancer.  He lived 2 months from the date we found out he had cancer and it was the worst thing I have ever had to witness in my life.  DH worries now about the fact that he has done drugs and smoked, all of which have stopped for a few years now, long before his dad died.  I remind him that he quit 30 years earlier then his dad.  He is young, just like you are, and his body has time to heal from it.  His dad didn't.  He died at 59 which is SO YOUNG.   
 
I smoked for a little over a year when I was in college.  I also quit cold turkey.  I used to smoke pot for much longer.  I quit while DH smoked it in front of me every nights.  It is all about willpower and really wanting to do it.  I felt so much guilt anytime I did any of those things b/c I knew I was just killing myself faster and managed to beat the addiction. 
 
Sorry to be so morbid, but if that isn't a wake up call, just wait until you have to watch someone suffer the consequences of their actions.  It isn't a pretty picture and you have time to make that not happen.  You have beautiful children that you would never want to have to watch you or take care of you while you were suffering from something caused by you smoking.       

Has anyone tried the patch?

First I want to say "you can do this", so get that set firmly in your mind and then decide how you want to tackle it.  I used the patch and yes, there might be a little heart racing I guess, but it's nothing horrible.  Remember this, lots of people will make excuses for why they can't/won't quit.  This is just one of them.  The patch comes in 3 strengths.  If you've smoked much at all (20+ a day) then start with the highest strength.  Wear it for a few weeks and do not try to move on to the lower level until you're absolutely ready.  Take it off at night though or you'll never get any sleep.  Be prepared for some crazy dreams too.  When you're ready, and that might be several weeks, move on to the lower dosage.  Eventually you'll be at the lowest strength and you'll wear that one for several weeks and one day you just realize you don't need it anymore.  Stopping with a partner who smokes would be really tough, so if you can do it together, your chance at success is much better.  You both owe it to yourselves and your kids.  Once you quit, your whole life changes for the better.  It's about lifestyle and when you feel healthier, you live healthier.  I went to visit a friend after having quit a few years and couldn't have smoked if I wanted to.  I took one or two puffs and it hurt my chest like crazy.  Good luck to you...it's one of the hardest things to do, but one of the best things you can do for your health.

Keep trying!  You've made up your mind, now keep trying.  I quit 5 years ago, cold turkey, I smoked for 12 years, 1 ppd.  It took me several attempts, first time, I went back to smoking after 2 months, second time it was 4 months.  Everytime I quit I found myself smoking less when I did go back.  My final attempt, after about 2 years, I was smoking 4 cigarettes a day, mostly after meals, that's when I decided "this is it."  It was one of the most difficult things I did, at first.  As humans are creatures of habit, everytime something happened that sparked that memory of smoking, I'd crave one, but I didn't give in.  I'm happy to say I'm smoke free for 5 years now.
 
I did gain weight, 30 pounds, but that's because I was getting close to diabetes, I believe b/c of the cigarettes.  They are NASTY, the chemicals in them truly mess up your body.  I went on a detox diet - predominantly vegetarian w/some fish, when we moved & adopted Peanut, I started walking (to sweat), and I lost weight.  I still have a few pounds to go, but my energy is back & I'm not hacking all day & night long!  Plus my comlexion & hair has improved tremendously!
 
You CAN do this, Angel, don't stop trying.  Think of it this way, your weight will fluctuate, you can lose it, but your lungs are irreparable ?sp?, you only have that one pair!  Will you be able to walk Sara if you have to tote an oxygen tank?  If you feel you can't do it cold turkey, there's help out there.  My friends went for laser treatment.  One 1/2 hour session & they're smoke free.  I've been to an acupuncturist for a bad shoulder, he told me he treats people for smoking cessation, too.  I tried the patch at first, but couldn't handle it & the gum tasted disgusting.  Just keep trying!

You know I try not to be confrontational.  If I don't like something someone posted I just go somewhere else.  But this is just too much.
 
You say "I'm always feeling sick." and then tell us you smoke a pack a day and you're too 'weak' to quit.  Then what do you want me to do about it?  YOU need to get YOUR act together.   I can say "Yes, you can!" and stroke your ego, but I just don't want to.  You say  that you feel like crap, you're family has died from this... and you don't have the motivation to fix it?  What the **** can I say that is more powerful than putting your family to rest?
 
I'm with Jean, stop whining and do it... and here's an idea, check out ANTI-SMOKING sites.
 

Angel, you're totally sending your self/body mixed messages.  "I need to quit, but I can't".  Huh, what?  Commit and execute, either way.  Don't pull your nose half way out into traffic and then pause to consider whether you'll make that turn or not.  You're setting failure points to measure yourself by (gonna gain weight, dh won't do it so I'll automatically fail, etc), and then condemning yourself for just the possibilities.  What does gaining a few pounds mean to you that it takes greater importances and supercedes your overall health?  I mean, really think about that.  That's what you're saying, at least in part, that the pounds you MIGHT gain are more important to your well-being, than quitting smoking.  See how twisted that sounds when you look at it that way?  Find YOUR truth - whether it's that you want to quit, or you truly enjoy smoking and accept the consequences.
Commit before you act, then ACT!  Your life only gets shorter each day, especially when you smoke.

I did very well last night. I did not go out and smoke once the kids were in bed. I put in a movie and I had a straw in my mouth the whole time. I also bought some nicorette. So I am making the steps, just baby steps.

You know I try not to be confrontational.  If I don't like something someone posted I just go somewhere else.  But this is just too much.

You say "I'm always feeling sick." and then tell us you smoke a pack a day and you're too 'weak' to quit.  Then what do you want me to do about it?  YOU need to get YOUR act together.   I can say "Yes, you can!" and stroke your ego, but I just don't want to.  You say  that you feel like crap, you're family has died from this... and you don't have the motivation to fix it?  What the **** can I say that is more powerful than putting your family to rest?

I'm with Jean, stop whining and do it... and here's an idea, check out ANTI-SMOKING sites.

 
 
Some people need support. This is something that is very very hard for me. I never thought it would be a problem for me to quit. If I was on a smokers site looking for some support it would not be a problem. So I came here, where I feel comfortable, hoping to hear from people who have been through the same thing.  I don't need you to hold my hand or rub my back, but I do need some help with this. I have small children and should never have even started to smoke. I never smoked until after my third was done nursing. I don't know why I even started.
 
As far as whining..... Like I said I was looking to hear from people that have been through or going through the same thing. Is that so wrong?

It is such a bad and nasty habit. But count me in as one of those who is hooked.  I've smoked for well over 30 years.  And every time I get really good and cut back, up crops another "good excuse" to not worry about it.  A critically ill Mother is a good one, a young nephew who has a life threatening condition, the danged moves that seem to happen more frequently than clean underwear......
 
DH now MUST quit.  They found a blockage yesterday, a small one, and ONLY one, thankfully, in one of the arteries at the top of his heart.  And thankfully, they found it through a stress test and not a heart attack.  But, if he needs to quit, so do I, since he follows my lead so completely in just about everything.  So for HIS sake, more than mine, I MUST quit.  And after 30 some years......yikes, it's not gonna be easy!  So, feel free to PM me and maybe we can support one another in our quest to quit.

Thanks so much Glenda, and the same goes here. Feel free to contact me for the same support. Sending prayers also for your DH.

Angel and Glenda, I'm in.
I have been smoking for 30 years also, close to a pack a day and I have tried almost everything except cold turkey. Last month my doc put me on puffers because I was having trouble breathing due to the humidity. I use tar free filters for my smokes and it helps but it is just a bandage solution. My biggest problem is that when I try not thinking about having a smoke, I want one more.
And Glenda, I'm with you on the stress issue. As soon as I get into quitting, something has to happen and the first thing I reach for is a butt. Bianca(my daughter) also smokes but we do not smoke in the house. I am more worried about hurting the doggies little lungs then my own. Make sense of that one.