Dog Community

Feeling sad about people who just "need someone"

Posted : 10/15/2012 12:24:26 AM

Been MIA for a few days - entered Gracie in a show and was busy w/students at the show all weekend.

I read today about the Amanda Todd circumstances. I read a comment about offering someone a kind word of support or complimenting them might mean more than we'd expect. At the show today was an older man who is known among the show folks. He sat alone at lunch and I wished three times that I had interrupted my conversation w/a friend to invite him to sit with us, but I didn't. When we got ready to leave, I was pulling out and saw him carrying his equipment to his car. This man is likely in his 80s. His license plate indicates the number of bombing runs he did as an aviator in the US military - 286. (I know this only because I asked about the USAA sticker on his car a couple of years ago and he told me about his military service then.) That man flew 286 bombing missions during what I assume was WWII, only because I can't remember what he told me. Yet today, like at previous dog show, he was a man in the sidelines. Not many competitors take photos at the Obed shows. He lugs his equipment and spends his entire weekend asking if folks want their pictures taken. He's a nice man.

I stopped my car, pulled into a parking spot, got out to help him finish loading his vehicle and we went back in to grab the rest of his gear. He thanked me and I commented on the giant leather satchel bag he carries to the shows. He explained he used that during his time as an aviator. I recalled how he had told me a bit about that at a show a couple years ago (when I had also been the only person who offered to help lug his stuff to the car.) I commented "you've got the number of bombing runs you did on your car, right?" He smiled. He has every right to be proud of how he served our country, and should not be ignored. After I loaded the satchel in the back I asked if he needed any other help, but none was needed. He thanked me again and then walked forward with his arms out and hugged me. The kind of hug that wasn't a courtesy thing. It was the kind of hug that said "thank you for recognizing me and talking to me." The kind of hug that I'm crying about right now because I think he felt the need to connect with someone.. that he's sad from something. That makes me want to send him a card to check in on him to let him know that even though he's a stranger to me, I care about him being around.

He said he hoped he'd see me again, maybe at next year's show. I smiled as bright as I could and said "Yes! I hope so, too!!"

I can't share this on Facebook because people there will know who it is. I don't know a lot about him, and honestly, if I want to know more about him, I will ask him myself. I just wanted to share my sadness here, because a community of support and kind words is valuable. You guys are a great group of caring people and don't need that kind of reminder to care about a stranger. In fact, I think I came here BECAUSE I know you guys will care about that stranger who hugged me today.

((HUGS)) back to all of you and thanks for reading.

yanke

Posted : 10/15/2012 12:58:31 AM

I hope you're feeling really good about yourself - because that was nice of you.

griffinej5

Posted : 10/15/2012 6:57:36 AM

I do hope you see him again next year, or at another show, and you get a chance to talk with him some more. I bet he has some really interesting stories to share. I wonder how he got into photographing dog shows.

One of the things I love about taking Luke to do therapy at the nursing home is that I have met some really cool people. I was going to take him to the schools, but the way the organizations work, I couldn't go to any really close to me. So, I went with the nursing home right across the street. We watched part of the Queen's Jubilee with a woman from England who was there temporarily and getting ready to go back. She told me about the last one. We met a man who is 100 years old, and a woman who started her town's SPCA (or the equivalent, not quite sure of this one).

kpwlee

Posted : 10/15/2012 7:30:59 AM

very thoughtful and kind Paige, thank you for taking a moment to acknowledge and to some extent validate this man.

so much of the time people gets so enclosed in their own bubble that they don't take time to notice those around them, although the people like this elderly man then miss out, the person that is so wrapped up in themselves also misses out. Look how deeply this experience has impacted you, it will change forever how you treat others. (that is not to say you haven't always shown kindness, I just mean you have now experienced how incredibly powerful a moment like this is and have the knowledge of how it fills you too)

Freedom

Posted : 10/15/2012 8:02:13 AM

When I got to the part where he hugs you, I got teary eyed as well.

Good job! Well Done!! You helped make someone's day, gave them a smile in the heart. And isn't that what's important!

cakana

Posted : 10/15/2012 8:29:16 AM

Yep, I got teary-eyed as well. What a wonderful message you gave me to start the day and thank you for making someone's day a lot brighter.

shadowsgin

Posted : 10/15/2012 8:47:34 AM

{{Paige}} What a wonderful story to share with us. I can promise you the feeling that you had, was two-fold for the man with the camera. I hope you get a chance to keep in touch. I think sending a note or a card is a wonderful idea. By sharing your story it will make us all reflect on how we often rush thru our days and miss the opportunity to share a kind word or gesture to someone that needs it.

mrstjohnson

Posted : 10/15/2012 9:10:36 AM

What a wonderful story and I also cried. You are a wonderful person Paige!!!!

rwbeagles

Posted : 10/15/2012 9:45:30 AM

Yer good folks, Paige. I am getting a lot like this of late. Having a special needs kiddo will do that to you...honestly. I think about Elias as an adult man and then an old man and I wonder to myself, "will people be kind to him when I am gone? Will people want to be his friend even if he is a hard person to like?" Stuff like that can really change your perspective and how you interact with people. I wish more folks out there understood this, Paige and I thank you. I also want to tell you guys here when you see someone acting weird or being somehow ostracized because they're a tiny bit peculiar or gruff or etc. That could be Elias someday...its someone's Elias, now. Smile, and be kind ;)

JackieG

Posted : 10/15/2012 9:56:12 AM

What a great experience, Paige. For him and for you. It doesn't take much time or effort to reach out to someone who seems alone or in need of a kind word. Good on you, girl. :)

nymaureen

Posted : 10/15/2012 11:51:48 AM

What a wonderful story Paige. Thanks for sharing. A little bit of help and a few words can go a long way.

mrstjohnson

Posted : 10/15/2012 12:10:10 PM

I remember sitting at an Arby's in high school and seeing an elderly man sitting all alone eating an early dinner (is was about 4:00). It made me so sad to think he is all by himself. I have a very soft spot for the elderly and elderly men in particular. For many of them that were married, their wives took care of everything for them and once they are gone, they are all alone. And being men, people think they should be stronger, etc. It makes me so sad.

tacran

Posted : 10/15/2012 1:07:12 PM

Paige, what a profound and moving experience. Thank you for sharing it. It made me teary, too. In fact, your description of the whole story makes me want to keep in touch with that gentleman! I hope you're able to see him again, and I agree that a card or note is a wonderful idea.

As someone who is a bit old-fashioned when it comes to the "newfangled" way of socializing with people (I don't use Facebook, no texting, no tweeting, etc.), I am very aware of the decrease in communication and interaction I have with people in more "intimate" and soul satisfying ways like one-on-one conversation and the hand-written word. I think a note or card would mean a great deal to someone older like this man.

Gina, your post about your worry for Elias as an adult also touched me. We have a family member who has slight mental and physcial disabilities that make it hard for her to make friends, hold a job, and maintain independence as a young adult. Her parents worry, too, about how things will be when they're not around anymore. The kindness of friends and neighbors (and strangers) play a big role.

Although it's not the same thing as being a parent of a special needs child, it reminds me of the worry that crosses my mind a lot as I get older. We do not have children, and our extended family is small. I worry what might happen when we get very old, when one of us is gone and the other remains alone . . . I hope we will always have younger friends and neighbors who will connect with us, and that they're not too busy with their own families to make room for us in their lives once in a while.

You showed great kindness, Paige, and your post reminds us all to make time for similar actions whenever we can. It's all part of the Golden Rule. Smile

CoBuHe

Posted : 10/15/2012 1:54:51 PM

Paige, I have no doubt that you made this gent's day...month...maybe year.

I do hope that you get to see him again at a future show; and that you get a chance to spend more time with him.

Bless your sweet heart. You made me teary-eyed.

FrisbyPI

Posted : 10/15/2012 2:42:38 PM

Paige, your act of kindness was an amazing gift. I can imagine him when he got home. "That women knew what the number meant!" I do hope you get to see him again--I bet he has a ton of stories to share. (And, I hope he writes them down so they aren't lost.) A card or note would be just perfect, too. Thank you for sharing with us, too!