When your pet passes away . . .

I read something once that said we as humans have to brave and strong to share our lives with such fragile beings who's lives we know will not outlast our own. 
 
When I had this conversation with a friend, she forwarded me this poem and I read it whenever I start to think about Gracie's end.
 
 I AM YOUR DOG
>    
>    
>    
>                       I am your dog, and I have a little
>     something I'd like to
>    
>     whisper in your ear.  I know that you humans lead busy
>     lives. Some have to
>    
>     work, some have children to raise.  It always seems like
>     you are running
>    
>     here and there, often much too fast, often never noticing
>     the truly grand
>    
>     things in life. Look down at me now, while you sit there at
>     your computer.
>    
>     See the way my dark brown eyes look at yours?  They are
>     slightly cloudy now.
>    
>     That comes with age. The gray hairs are beginning to ring
>     my soft muzzle.
>    
>    
>    
>                       You smile at me; I see love in your eyes.
>     What do you see
>    
>     in mine?  Do you see a spirit? A soul inside, who loves you
>     as no other
>    
>     could in the world?  A spirit that would forgive all
>     trespasses of prior
>    
>     wrong doing for just a simple moment of your time?  That is
>     all I ask. To
>    
>     slow down, if even for a few minutes to be with me.  So
>     many times you have
>    
>     been saddened by the words you read on that screen, of
>     other of my kind,
>    
>     passing. Sometimes we die young and oh so quickly,
>     sometimes so suddenly it
>    
>     wrenches your heart out of your throat. Sometimes, we age
>     so slowly before
>    
>     your eyes that you may not even seem to know until the very
>     end, when we
>    
>     look at you with grizzled muzzles and cataract clouded eyes.
>     Still the love
>    
>     is always there, even when we must take that long sleep, to
>     run free in a
>    
>     distant land.
>    
>    
>    
>                       I may not be here tomorrow; I may not be
>     here next week.
>    
>     Someday you will shed the water from your eyes, that humans
>     have when deep
>    
>     grief fills their souls, and you will be angry at yourself
>     that you did not
>    
>     have just "One more day" with me. Because I love you so,
>     your sorrow touches
>    
>     my spirit and grieves me.  We have NOW, together. So come,
>     sit down here
>    
>     next to me on the floor, and look deep into my eyes. What
>     do you see? If you
>    
>     look hard and deep enough we will talk, you and I, heart to
>     heart. Come to
>    
>     me not as "alpha" or as "trainer" or even "Mom or Dad,"
>     come to me as a
>    
>     living soul and stroke my fur and let us look deep into one
>     another's eyes,
>    
>     and talk.
>    
>    
>    
>                       I may tell you something about the fun of
>     chasing a tennis
>    
>     ball, or I may tell you something profound about myself, or
>     even life in
>    
>     general. You decided to have me in your life because you
>     wanted a soul to
>    
>     share such things with. Someone very different from you,
>     and here I am. I am
>    
>     a dog, but I am alive. I feel emotion, I feel physical
>     senses, and I can
>    
>     revel in the differences of our spirits and souls. I do not
>     think of you as
>    
>     a "Dog on two feet" -- I know what you are. You are human,
>     in all your
>    
>     quirkiness, and I love you still.
>    
>    
>    
>                       Now, come sit with me, on the floor.
>     Enter my world, and
>    
>     let time slow down if only for 15 minutes.  Look deep into
>     my eyes, and
>    
>     whisper to my ears.  Speak with your heart, with your joy
>     and I will know
>    
>     your true self.  We may not have tomorrow, and life is oh
>     so very short."
>    
>    
>    
>                       --Love, (on behalf of canines everywhere)
>                       Author Unknown
>    
>
 

I don't think you're crazy at all Lori.  I think the same thing about my dogs.  It's not a constant feeling, but there are times when I just look at them and realize that one day I may not be able to hug them or talk to them, and it makes me sad.  Those feelings aren't limited to my dogs though.  I worry about losing my best friend a lot.  We've been close for sooo many years and the thought that someday I may not be able to pick up the phone and call her, is more than I can imagine.  I feel the same way about my husband too and my dad passed away in January, but I used to dread the day when he wouldn't be around.  It's what made me sit with great patience and attention as he shared his favorite childhood stories with me for the 100th time [].  I think knowing that our dogs, friends, family, etc., won't be with us forever, makes us care for and appreciate them all the more. 

Kayla and I had many many conversations staring into each others eyes.  I was truly amazing.

I am pretty sure I will lose it when either of my dogs goes. I did when I had to put my first bearded dragon to sleep, and I cried for days after that. When my rats and my bird died, I wasn't as upset about it, but I guess if some people have a heart dog, he was my heart dragon. I cried for days after it if someone brought it up, or if I had to tell someone, or at the sight of his empty cage. When my dog got hit by a car last Easter, I was totally hysterical. I felt really guilty about it for a long time, and I guess I still do a little bit, but not as much. But, Max and Millie had to have reflective id collars (still would if they were better quality, lights on their collars (again, they still would if the batteries didn't constantly die), multiple id tags, and most importantly, and i'm still working on this one, a really good recall. Also, I saw her get hit, and for a while afterwords, I had nightmares about it. It was horrible. There would be other dogs in the place of her, either Max or Millie, or someone else's dog. I didn't go to my class the day after because I knew there was no way I would be able to sit there for 2 hours without totally losing it.
So, I think I can completely expect that I will be a total mess, and there's not much I can do about it.

Lori,
 You are not alone. After having to help Sonny to the Bridge and then Julie the following day last November it has been more and more on my mind regarding the rest of my dogs as 90% of the Am Staffs are over 6 years old.
 
Even now, I am sitting here crying as I write this. There isn't a day that goes by that DH says to one of the other dogs, "Do you miss Julie? I miss Julie too" I still look for Sonny or expect to hear him barking in the morning when the dogs are out with the kids and I am in the house.
 
Sad to say now, Willie will be 12, he has now lost his hearing totally. He has good days and bad days and on the good days I have lots of hope. On his bad days I pray I will see his shinning eyes in the morning. I don't know how life will be without him. He is the dog who introduced me to dog shows and educating the public. I know that I should not play favorites and I really do try hard not to but that boy is my favorite, I have learned, shared and experienced so much in life because of him.
 Now you're going to think, I'm off my rocker but a few years ago I was at a K-9 expo, they had a company there the "freeze dries" your pet. It was wierd for me at first but also pretty cool too. I used to taunt the kids and tell them thats what I was going to do with Willie. That way I could take him with me to the old folks home(since they threaten me thats where I am going to be) and I will be the envy of all the nursing home cause I'll have "My Puppy" as I always call willie.
 
 Now with the canine ataxia in my breed and knowing from talk that Willie comes from a line that is now known to have had it I will allow him to be part of the study when his body completely gives out. I can't imagine a better way for him to end his life then to continue to "give" in death to help other dogs and their owners.

You are not alone.  I started thinking about Romeo passing the day he came home with me, and every time I loose it.  Romeo, is in my living will, in it I have specific instructions of what is to come of him in case I pass first ( I am a cancer patient, in remission, but you never know) I have a vet, food, likes and dislikes file, in case that day comes the person who will take care of him won't be left in the dark, I have also made sure they have become friends and Romeo is familiar with the house, so he won't go to a new unfamiliar home and person. 
 
In the meantime, I enjoy our time together to the fullest.  When I am home, he is always close to me, at night, he goes in his bed which is next to mine, rests his head on the bolster, in my computer I have a file called "Romeo's music", so I play it, I lay down on the floor next to him so we are facing each other and look at him in the eyes, with Nat King Cole playing on the background, he loves the crooners.  I swear that is the best hour of my day, I love looking into those chestnut colored eyes and  stroking his little body until eventually sleep takes over, he starts snoring, not loud more like a soft purr and that is when I cry.  Many nights, I have fallen asleep as well right there on the floor, and when I wake up, there he is, curled up in a tight little ball, with his head resting in the crook of my arm, I smile and I don't even bother to get up I just reach for the covers and go right back to sleep, other times, I pick him up and put him in the bed next to me, he looks up all sleepy licks my faces, snuggles closer and we snore away until the morning comes.
 
I cherish every moment, not only with him, but w/my parents and loved one as well, as it is the only thing we have left when they are no longer with us.

trust me. you're not alone.
i guess when princess died i took it hard because she was the first dog i ever had and i kinda grew up with her. every once in awhile i cry my eyes out but then i think; it doesnt matter how long she lived, it was the quality of live she had. i know i gave her everything i could and i smile when i think about the days she'd run under my covers with the blanket on her head. just remember the good times and everything will be ok.

meagan

My husband can't say the word Talus and "when he goes" in the same sentence....he leaves the room...he can't bear to think about it...
I am different though, I believe that we are all here for a pre-determined time...you have to enjoy it, live it and make the most of it each and every day, because in the end, we all move on to something else....
I know it's going to break my heart when Talus trots to the Bridge, but I plan to enjoy each and every joy, struggle, moment, while I have him with me....
Give Willow a big hug, and keep telling her how much you love her and how you'll all be together in another time and place, and keep enjoying her while she's here....
Everyone has to deal in their own way...and we'll always be here to help and support each other.....

and we'll always be here to help and support each other

 
Thank goodness for that!

I'm new to the forum and have been reading all the messages for over an hour now, but I had to respond to this one. I lost my cockapoo in July to Addison's Disease. He was only 6.5 years old and he was diagnosed when he was 4. He was my baby. I had him before my daughter. Anyway, it's hard to lose something you love so much, but you do get through it. I didn't think I ever would. I missed two days of work because I was so grief stricken. I swore I would never get attached to another dog again. It's just too painful. But a house without a dog was so empty. Thor used to follow me everywhere I went. He was my shadow. I hated coming home and not hearing his collar jingle. I just couldn't stand it.
 
So six weeks later I got an adorable chocolate labradoodle puppy. His name is Hershey and he saved me from a broken heart. And then I got Daisy 4 months later (also a labradoodle - I have bad allergies) because I wanted Hershey to have company.
 
I already think about what if I ever lose Hershey or Daisy. I think it's because the pain from Thor's death is still so fresh. But while it's aweful to go through, somehow you make it. I still cry when I think about it, but I'm grateful to have had such a loving companion in my life.
 
Try not to dwell on it and just enjoy the wonderful unconditional love of your dog. 

  I know exactly how you feel Lori.  I wonder if I'm "over the edge" as far as this goes.  I absolutely adore my boyz, but especially my brindlewonderkid.  He has been my first show dog (many breed wins, one Group 1), my first agility dog (nationally ranked in the top 3 for his breed for 5 years running), my first coursing dog (multiple best in fields), my first therapy dog, my first rally dog (so far 2 entries, 2 first places).  He's given me so much; so many friends, so many accomplishments, a niche in life.  I wake up at night and touch him to see if he's still breathing, I cherish taking naps with him, his warm scent, running agility courses with him, watching him move with the sunlight bouncing off him.  He take my breath away.  What am I to do when he leaves?  I wonder if there's anything another dog could possibly give me that he hasn't already.  That sounded selfish - I don't mean it that way.  Just, what's left? 
 
Personally, I believe death is temporary.  Either you believe Life is temporary and death is permanent, or Death is temporary and Life is permanent.  Small comfort, but it's the best I've come up with.  I guess, bottom line, is that a short time in life with him is better than a long time without him.

Thank you everyone for posting!!  I'm feeling so much better, stopped crying now, finally! 
 
I love that poem too, thank you!  I did sit and have a "talk" with Willow today.  Or at least I tried, she licked me and then went to lay in a cooler spot.  That's a chow for ya!  She made me laugh and realize I need to stop all this. 
 
Rcocchi---Thanks for posting, welcome!!  Those two are adorable!  Is there a specific name for the color of the guy on the left?? 

I completely understand how you are feeling. I would sometimes look at my boys and think about what I would do if I lost them. Well know I have to face it. You have responded to my thread about Cole, my 3 yr. old pitt/lab with cancer. For days and weeks I cried because I don't want him to hurt and I know I will miss him so much. But like that poem says just look into their eyes and talk. It is amazing how much they can tell you. It is hard for me to sit here and repsond w/o crying. I never thought I would have to deal with this so soon. We had him when he was 6 months old and you think you are going to have at least 10 years with them and unfortunately God has other plans for him and I have to respect that. It doesn't make things easier, it still hurts so much. I even think about this with my mother. She is the only parent I have and I don't know what I would do without her. But one thing I always tell myself is that everything happens for a reason and God only gives us what we can handle. (We may not agree) But I will be so sad when that day comes for Cole or any of my other animals. They are just like family and we are silly if we don't think about loosing them because we think about loosing our family members. It is no different. So don't worry it is normal to feel this way.

Oh, yes, how IS Cole???  I lost track of that thread, but last I read he was doing better.  I hope that is still the case. 

I have lost many animals, because my life has always been filled with them.  Now, I have two dogs that are over 17 years of age, one is my heart dog of a lifetime.  I know that they will be going to the Bridge soon, and I know that I will cry - the loneliness when they first go is so horrible.  But, the joy that they have given me is worth the days that we must spend apart before the "happy kisses rain on my face" again.  Until then, they will send me messages carried on the wings of red-tailed hawks, and I will send prayers for their safekeeping upward with sacred smoke.