Abbeyroad86
But what I am getting at is when you get a puppy or have a puppy, I personally feel you aren't constantly thinking the end is near, you don't feel like you are racing the clock. I guess that is why I can't adopt an older dog again.
(emphasis mine)
Abbyroad -- that is a "you" feeling. Not necessarily a general "most folks" feeling. It's also -- dare I say this -- perhaps because you are young yourself, and having babies and you may see 4 years as an unbelievably small amount of time. (that's not a slam -- but I'm a mid-50's woman who was never *able* to have children - wanted to desperately but never could have them nor adopt).
I don't mean that to sound mean at all -- just pointing out to you that each of us comes with our own frame of reference. And very often, that frame of reference is hugely impacted by our own history and experience.
I just said to a friend today -- we were reacting to someone's comment "You're good as new!" and my comment was "I don't mind feeling young but please don't make me give up my hard-earned wisdom that came with age!! That wouldn't be a good trade-off for me."
People talk about how their teenaged years or college were "the best times of my life". ewwwwwwwwwwwww NOT me!! I *survived* them. Barely. It's only been in my "mature" (ahem) years that I have truly been happy, felt fulfilled and at peace.
Ok -- let's talk about dogs again *now*.
I've had several puppies. It's fine. But it has never EVER been any great enjoyment for me. I work away from home and it's always been thus. "Staying home" was never ever, not even for a second, an option for me. Add to that the fact that I'm more than a bit disabled -- and chasing a puppy to properly train it is not something at all easy for me. Definitely not a joyful celebration. So having a puppy is different for different people. Not all people at my end of the range, but neither are most folks at your range of being able to be home to train a puppy.
Honestly, Abbeyroad that is the case with many, many people today. There's no criticism there - it's simply the vast difference between my life and yours.
Beyond that -- there is a huge difference in mindset. For you an adult dog is somehow a cheat -- missing your favorite time (sorta like Oreos without the cream filling?).
When we adopted Tinkerbell last year she was 5 1/2 months -- and even THAT age was a gi-normous question for me -- could I handle the rambuntiousness, could I handle the sacrifice of having to drive home 12 miles in city traffic **at noon** with gas at nearly $5 a gallon for MONTHS until I knew she was properly housetrained? It was an enormous sacrifice for us -- *laughing* and never once did I feel cheated that I hadn't smelled her puppy breath. We took her **because** she needed our home.
For me an adult dog is the best. I can celebrate their wisdom and appreciate the collective experience that has brought them to "today". It's just a whole different level of appreciation to be honest.
For many years I was literally grieving for the fact that I'd been denied children, and the hope of ANY child faded considerably with each passing day. My biological clock was so off-kilter it had completely forgotten how to ring!
But I've often joked that when I was 40 I had a renaissance of sorts -- I had a choice. I could continue mourning a life I'd never fully been able to have, or I could shout "DO OVER" and do things differently. I began to count my age "backwards" -- and last July I hit 25 ... (*again*)
John Mellencamp says in "The Real Life":
I guess, it don´t matter, how old you are
Or how old one lives to be
I guess, it boils down to what we did with our lives
And how we deal with our own destinies
But something happens when you reach a certain age
Particularly to to those ones, that are young at heart
It´s a lonely proposition when you realize
That there´s less days in front of the horse
Than riding in the back of this cart
It's a lonely proposition until you decide that what "the real life" has to offer may be worth **more** than what youth may have to offer.
I want to live the real life
I want to life my life close to the bone
Just because i´m middle-aged that don´t mean
I want to sit around my house and watch tv
I want the real life
I honestly don't mean this to sound at all preachy -- but for me, encouraging people to adopt an older dog in many ways is my attempt to help people understand that it's what we do with every single day ... not phases, or how much time you have with them.
5 1/2 years ago David and I adopted a puppy who was handicapped. She'd been abused -- her abuser had broken her back with a broom. She'd been starved, and in her mere 4 months on this earth had been horribly abused (she was roughly 4 months old). She couldn't walk when we took her.
But her injuries were too great -- and actually just growing (from good food and care) created more problems and a blood clot left over from the abuse caused a stroke and we lost her after only three months.
THAT very nearly killed me. Losing one so young that I'd become so bonded to... frankly I never wanted a puppy EVER again. In total honesty, I very nearly decided never to have another dog -- the hurt went so unbelievably deep.
In know *you* understand there are no guarantees. But for some of us the truth of that is probably more glaring because of our own experiences.
But so many of us on here -- and I'm betting your friend who went "amok" over rescuing an older dog may have felt this way too -- none of us can save them all.
But puppies need no encouragement to adopt them. They're cute. They're moldable. They're fun. They're essentially what most folks want. So even in shelters, puppies tend to be easily adopted.
But the older ones ***need*** an advocate. They need someone extolling their virtues. They need someone to encourage folks to give them a shot. And frankly -- the older they are the ***MORE*** they need that advocate.
At my age -- I'm long past the bloom of youth. And shoot -- even when my 'bloom' was blooming no one appreciated me. It was only when I finally survived some really atrocious crud, *and* was fortunate enough to have found my husband, David -- that we both found magic. And we have made a wonderful 12 1/2 years out of finding dogs who uniquely **needed** the love we have had to offer, and wow -- I've had some truly incredible, and unbelievable dogs. Dogs who have changed **ME** as a person. And most of the most noteworthy ones -- have been not just "adults" -- but seniors.
If you can handle my ramble -- I did a post the other day about Kee Shu "She's so determined". She's 19 in all likelihood. Shoot -- she was 14 when we TOOK her. I have not a clue how many more days, weeks ... (I'm not even going to say "months" -- likely she won't see Christmas). BUT ... every single day is a gift. I don't look at it as a time missed ... I got the **best** of her because I got to peel away the years of neglect and find the gem underneath.
Abbeyroad -- gosh, I don't know if this has made any sense at all -- but it's an entirely different type of value system. It's about starting **today** and moving forward simply to see where you go. There's no sense in mourning the loss of yesterday -- because it's gone. And maybe -- just maybe it wasn't all that hot to begin with.
But the experiences I've had with elderly dogs, with sick or handicapped dogs -- it's without compare.
There's not a thing wrong with simply wanting a puppy for your kids to play with. But some people never give maturity a chance. For some folks it's ONLY that "puppy" thing that counts. So ... many times we have to go to bat for the older, mature, less attractive, less "cute" dogs. Simply because they are the ones who otherwise don't GET a chance.
That puppy in the shelter? He'll go fast -- and unfortunately often taken home by someone who only wants the "puppy thing" -- the joy of handing a kid a cute puppy ... *today*. But by next week, they're OVER stepping in poop, ruined corners on tables or legs on chairs, or coming home to shredded curtains. And that very puppy who was SO EASY for someone to fall in love with and adopt -- he's that 9 month old h#ll on wheels "young" dog on petfinder who has already been bounced from 3 homes because no one has the patience to train him. Or maybe it's the 4 year old mix that has owners who suddenly decide someone has allergies or they're moving to a *new* house ...
On and on it goes -- and just because those dogs are older doesn't make them less full of love or less needy for love.
So they need advocates.
One more analogy -- did you ever notice when you go to a shoe sale or a particular store's 'sale' days that all the "normal" sizes are often gone? The good colors? The really popular things that everyone wanted?
They're gone. That's WHY they had the sale -- because the popular stuff IS gone and they need to move that merchandise out to make room for new stuff.
That's a lot like dogs -- the puppies are the popular ones. Sometimes there are a few that don't get adopted right off -- but usually cos they have a flaw. So like any good 'sale' you have to put up signs, and try to catch people's eye and hope that with enough Hoopla, you'll get that person in who needs those un-typical sizes or who is willing to take the less popular color.
Now -- a lot of times in a sale you find exactly what YOU wanted (and maybe just didn't get). Maybe there ARE a few of those popular colors and sizes left - and that's like the puppies at a shelter. But they go quick.
I am truly sorry that this person so badly 'went off' on someone for taking a puppy rather than an adult dog. There could be a LOT of reasons for that.
After a lifetime of rescue I'd have to wonder if they maybe knew something you didn't -- like maybe they were concerned that the potential adopter really didn't have *time* nor *patience* for a puppy and that puppy might literally just get bounced rather than properly loved and trained.
OR maybe she didn't know **at all** and just advocated an older dog rather than risk one more dog winding up getting bounced back into rescue because it was a poor fit with the home.
Most of the time people who advocate "adult dogs" -- have picked up the pieces of a rescue gone VERY wrong too many times. The dogs who got dumped -- not because they were 'bad' -- but because the OWNER was bad and didn't train the dog and then the dog got euthanized because that human didn't know what they wanted, or didn't stop to evaluate whether the dog was a real 'fit'.
But at the same time - someone who goes off on a prospective adopter for not choosing an adult dog -- they're probably gonna so sour that potential adopter on the whole idea of rescue (some dog people can come off just unbelievably BITTER, MEAN and NASTY!) that the potential adopter then walks into a puppy store just because no one is gonna harass them there *sigh*.
THAT is what you call 'counter-productive'.