Anyone still in contact with their exes?

    • Gold Top Dog

    Anyone still in contact with their exes?

    Curious.

    I have an ex BF that I was with for 18 mos or so in my early 20's. Things didn't work out...but I got 3 months in Germany outta the deal. I had some resentment at first and we didn't talk much...but as time went on I realized I liked to email with him now again, mainly because I did care that he was having a happy life and considered him a friend.

    My dh is aware that we chat...probably once a month or even once every several months. He has told me he isn't thrilled but he's not going to tell me not to have friends simply because we have a history...and he's in Switzerland after all LOL. We chatted about it in some depth and in essence I got the okay to chat once and awhile.

    I find hearing his stories about how he is going to this or that place for holidays...how things are in Germany or Switzerland, their views on what goes on here in the USA with politics etc, are interesting to read...from a really different perspective since he isn't married or entangled at the moment and has always been a "pick up and travel with only the bike and backpack" kinda guy. It's kinda like reading a travel novel or fiction novel but he's real LOL. Does that make any sense? Huh?

    Does anyone that's currently married or in a relationship...keep an ex as a friend either virtually or IRL?

    • Gold Top Dog

    I only have one ex that I see in person but he was an 8th grade boyfriend (my first real puppy love) and he is married to one of my friends.  I email with some of the others from time to time but that is it.  I would never actually see them.  I like to see their families and how their lives have come along.  I have no desire to be with them but I do like to know how they are doing.  Hubby isn't keen on it either but it isn't something I abuse in any way so it isn't an issue.  There is one that was my first real love and he gives me such a hard time about not ever meeting up with him and his wife when they are in town that we have pretty much cut ties all together.  Plus he always ends up saying things that make me uncomfortable that almost always ends our email conversation anyway.  Another one, I just found out his gf is pregnant and she is right around the same time as me so it is sort of exciting.  I talk to these people maybe once ever couple months, sometimes once a year or even longer.   We have a mutual friend that I talk to more often so I hear about how they are doing through him as well. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    When I email with mine it's as I mentioned, interesting as to content but also very evident that we did NOT suit...that the decision to end things was SUCH a good one because we're just so different, lol. I like reading about adventure and he likes HAVING them...hehe.

    I shake my head sometimes tho at some of the decisions he's made when it comes to women and love tho...he asks me for advice and I never give it...not my place, but oy....men (and women too!) are their own worst enemy sometimes!

    • Gold Top Dog
    He's not exactly an 'ex', but he and I were too close of friends for BF's comfort, so when he left for Scotland I kind of let our friendship go. We still talk or IM every once in a while but I usually try to avoid him.
    • Gold Top Dog

    Just one really, and not often. He lives in Illinois, we grew up together. We tried a relationship - but it did not work out. lol it probably only lasted a few weeks.

    we talked every now and then on facebook, just to see how eachother is doing. We were best friends for the longest time, so it's nice to still talk every now and then.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'm not currently in touch with any exes, but 10 years after my first marriage ended, we got back together for a few months. Disaster. I remembered why I left in the first place! LOL

    There have been 2 other exes that I remained friends with. One, we just fell out of touch, but I feel sure that if I contacted him, it would be very easy to strike up our friendship again. If I ever needed anything I could go to him and vice versa (my current husband has met him).

    The other one recently got in touch with me and we emailed for a few months. He had split up with his wife and when he started using "affectionate" names (sweetie, honey, etc), I thought it best that we let it fizzle out. I also found out that his political views were diametrically opposed to mine. I got a little tired of the pro-war, pro-Bush, anti-freedom junk emails. Ugh! So, I just stopped responding to him and he took the message. Hey, he could have had me back then as I was head over heels in love with him. I didn't feel I owed him anything.

    So, I don't have a very good record of staying friends with exes. Stick out tongue 

    • Gold Top Dog

    A b/f I had after my divorce hated that I tried to maintain a civil relationship with my ex-husband (b/f always insisted I'd go back to ex-hub).  Ex-husband and I had a son together, so civil/friendly seemed the way to go - why put son through more arguing and crap?  

    That b/f and I broke up about 7 years ago and though he tried to contact me a few times or talk to me when I saw him, I let him know in no uncertain terms that we were D O N E.  He didn't help his case for friendship any by humiliating me over things I told him when we tried to work it out and then had the gall to tell me I had mental problems.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I still am in email contact with my ex on a two - three times a year basis.  Christmas, birthdays or if anything major happens (baby, death in the family etc.).  We dated for 11 years (from when I was 15 - 26 years old) and at the end broke up just because we both knew it wouldn't work out long term so why drag it out even longer.  DH knows about it and really doesn't care.  Nothing major ever comes of the emails other than what our families have been up to, etc.  I feel like a grew up with his family and vice versa so it is nice to keep in touch.  His parents came to my granny's funeral, which was nice.  There is no way I would ever be interested in him again. He is a nice resource to have when medical stuff comes up since he is a doc now and is always willing to give advice. 

    • Gold Top Dog

     I like to keep in contact with *most* of my ex's because I always considered the guys I dated to be really good guys and good friends. Now I say most because some weren't so great at all. DH knew this when he met me 5 years ago, and I made it clear that I am friend's with some ex's because I know some guys get really weird about that and vice versa. He doesn't care, in fact I have invited some ex's to our bonfires and introduced them to my DH, and the one guy I dated awhile back goes and works at the gym we now go too. So yes, I keep in touch with quite a bit of them and I believe DH is in contact with a few of his old girlfriend's still too. We both realize that ex's are just that, ex's for a reason. Smile

    • Gold Top Dog

    I kept in touch with my ex-husband for a few years and initially DH didn't care. Then the ex went thru a divorce and asked me to lunch. DH (boyfriend at the time) was not keen on that at all and was certain that the ex was hoping to get back together. I never met up with him again, but he'd call me now and then. Eventually he started going to the same gym as us and DH got to meet him and they actually got along okay, so there were no more worries. The ex has since remarried and we don't keep in touch anymore and I think it's actually for the best. The guy I dated after that took our breakup very badly and I had to screen calls for months. I had no desire to ever hear from him again but he's left me drunken voicemail msgs on my cellphone a few times which helps to remind me why I dumped him Stick out tongue.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'll talk to one of my ex's if I happen to run into him or a few messages on myspace occasionally.  I would say we maybe talk 1x every 2-6 months, so nothing major at all....

    My step-mom on the other hand....

    Her ex-husband (father of 2 of her kids) used to come to our house alot (my dad was there, so nothing 'wierd' going on).  It seemed kinda strange at first.  I came over for a July 4th picnic and there was Craig (the ex hubs) but it was cool b/c then my step-sibs didn't have to worry about all the negatives from coming from one parent or the other.  My family plays poker on saturday nights and Craig was a regular member of our group, he would come over for New Year's and spend the night, and when he descided to become a truck driver he and my dad we're a cross country team together.  Now none of that happens anymore b/c he got remarried and doesn't seem to have time to come around anymore (there's lot's of drama there but I'll leave that one alone for now).  I just thought it was great that everyone could hang out together and there were no crazy issues.