Dog Community

Need to vent about my Mom!!!

Posted : 4/15/2008 3:53:26 PM

I'm sorry but I NEED to vent about my Mom before I blow up!

For the past 3 weeks I have been watching my brother from 3pm-8pm M-F who is 10 years old because my parents have been fixing up an apartment that my Grandma owns (last tenant destroyed it). I don't have a problem at all watching my brother. She said she would give me some money for him because I've been watching him and I've been making him dinner, or he's been going out to eat with us. She never gave me any money and I feel weird asking because she's my Mom. So, whatever, he's my brother. I just hate how she dumps him off on me and my fiancee because she knows she doesn't have to pay for babysitting. Don't get me wrong, I love having him, but it's tough for 3 weeks...driving him to practice, games, friends house, making sure he has homework done. We have no kids of our own (this is GREAT birth control though!). She never thanked me though for watching him. All she said was "He kept saying he was bored, didn't you do anything with him?" And that was the real problem I had.

Today she called me and said she needs a ride to the bank and my brother needs a haircut. My Mom doesn't drive. So, I told her before 4:00 I would pick her and my brother up, drive her to the bank, then take him to get a haircut. I got there at 3:45, she came out, piss poor attitude, and said "HELLO!?!? Where have you been??? We've been waiting since 3:00!!"....I told you I had to work first....then she said, "Stephanie, you only walk dogs and you work for yourself, you can call it a day when you want, you were just doing this because you know we needed a ride"....I just rolled my eyes because I won't fight with her in front of my brother. So, she went to the bank, then my brother got his haircut. She turned to me and said "Do you have a $20? I deposited all my money and forgot to leave out a $20 for his hair"....I gave her the money, but I know she won't pay me back. Then on the way home she critized my job, "nobody will take you seriously because your a dog walker", "how do you think I feel saying my daughter is a dog walker???"

AAAHHH!!! I couldn't wait to drop her butt off. She's usually not nasty, I love my Mom, but today...WOW...I couldn't drop her off fast enough.

Anonymous

Posted : 4/15/2008 4:01:02 PM

I would say something to her. You keep holding it in one day your gonna just explode and it's not gonna be a good.

I would have taken her back to the bank to get her money too. And if you didnt have time before the haircut I would have taken her after and said "you know I am just a dog walker!! I need my 20 bucks."

BlackLabbie

Posted : 4/15/2008 4:43:18 PM

She just drives me crazy sometimes. And I can never really get away from her because we live 5 houses apart Tongue Tied

calliecritturs

Posted : 4/15/2008 6:37:59 PM

She has "taking advantage of you" down to a fine art. You need to talk to her ***alone*** (or with your fiance) ... or at least write her a letter.

1. She needs to know you **realize** you are providing free child care for her.

HOWEVER, she also needs to respect you at the same time. Call her on it -- "I'm providing you free child care and it's been going on for weeks -- he's my brother and I love him, but I will NOT tolerate your disrespect to ME in front of him!!" (you might insert in there what she would have done to YOU had you spoken to her that way!!)

2. I have my own business. In order to be good at that business I have to adjust my schedule to my clients' schedules. Therefore I'm not at your beck and call - if I don't walk dogs, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid WE don't have money. I'm not an inexhaustible supply.

3. Talk to a CPA or at least email the IRS and find out if the 'free' child care you are providing to your mother (you don't live at home -- you are providing a free service for nothing in return) -- it might actually be deductible if you keep track of it and keep records.

You won't get respect unless you demand it. But approach her privately or put it in writing. And make sure your verbal exchanges with her are not tinged with anger. Your brother IS taking notes.

BlackLabbie

Posted : 4/15/2008 7:25:16 PM

That's the thing....she treats me like I'm there, always, to do whatever she wants/can't do. And then if she has a crappy day, you know who it gets taken out on- me. I hate the way she talked about my job in front of my brother today. She's always been a stay at home Mom and I've always told her she does the hardest job on th planet, and I always give her a great Mothers Day, I really respect my Mom and love her very much. But with me dog walking, and hopefully owning my own larger business, she has never given me any credit. She doesn't get that if I don't walk these dogs I don't get paid...she acts like we always have money, and we certainly don't!

westiegirl3

Posted : 4/15/2008 7:52:57 PM

I am a mom to three grown children who are married. Two of them have children also. I agree when another poster said that you should say something or it will just build up and you may explode. Just do it in a very caring way and let her know that it hurts you that you feel like she is not proud of you. Also let her know that it is important to do a "job" that you enjoy and there is no telling you just what kind of business you may have in the future. Also, explain that you love taking care of your brother, but you are just starting out and don't have the money to pay for all of his expenses. It may be easier if you e-mail her and you just don't want any tension come between you two because you love her and respect her so much.

I know as a mom, I don't want anything to hinder my relationship with my children or any member of their family. Just let your mom know how much you love her and respect her. For a relationship to work, there must be respect and one member not taking advantage of the other.