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ParentChat-The Ask Chart

Posted : 4/14/2008 9:41:18 AM

So my kiddos recreational "asking" is out of control. My poor dh cannot sit on the couch on a weekend without them both coming up every 10 mins seems like to ask for SOMETHING. It is less marked during the week when it's just me but still, out of hand.

I decided it's time to do something to make them aware of it and also help them learn the value of asking for things. Less is more...etc.

I made a whiteboard baed chart with both their names, and alloted them a certain number of requests per day (little ??? on the board). When they use one, regardless of our answer...one is removed. When they are all gone, no more asking the rest of that day. IF they have ??'s left they roll over to the next day.

I want Lily esp (who knows if Elias will even get it)...to have a visual reminder of how many times she is asking for things, and to think hard before asking so she is not doing so out of boredom or neediness, but because she actually has a real wish or need to do or receive something from us. I started on the high end of alloted ??'s and we'll work down once I see what's reasonable to expect.

Obviously we're not counting EVERYTHING towards the big count...they ask for dinner for ex even tho they know they get it everyday LOL.

We'll see if it has any effect!

cakana

Posted : 4/14/2008 11:50:35 AM

I think that's a great idea and I'll be anxious to see if it works. I don't have kids but I've been around them enough to know that sometimes the questions can be exhausting. Good luck!!

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/14/2008 12:00:15 PM

I alloted 8 today...Elias is down to 5...LOL. He asked to play DS...for a piece of bread after he had breakfast, and to go outside. He was watching very intently when I erased the question marks and told him why I was erasing them...

Lily I think I will adjust down, for days when she's at school.

mrstjohnson

Posted : 4/14/2008 1:15:55 PM

My sister should do this, because my niece drives us all nuts. I have been trying to find a way to tell my sister that she some how needs to get it under control, but how do you tell someone that?? This is a great idea. I believe it will make them more thoughtful, etc. and will make them think things through before just blurting anything out for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/14/2008 2:31:13 PM

Elias is sort of getting it. He's down to 2 now...and everytime he comes up and I know he's gearing to ask something I say:

"You've only got 2 more left...is this important? When they are gone, you can't ask for anything..."

He gets frustrated but then wanders off lol. He did tho figure out the indirect method...for ex instead of asking for more water he said "My water is empty...the fridge has more in it" LOL!

UndefinedMelody

Posted : 4/14/2008 5:12:41 PM

rwbeagles
"My water is empty...the fridge has more in it"

Smart boy!

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/14/2008 5:55:38 PM

The kid has a future in interrogation lemme tell ya. Example convo from couple nights ago.

Braum's has this KILLER SUNDAE. Pound cake and ice cream and caramel...I sent DH out to fetch one...lol Now being Eli he knew even from another room that his daddy had left the house.

Enter Elias, age 4...

E: Daddy went somewhere?

G: yep

E: where'd he go?

G: he went out....

E: oh...he went out for what?

G: *sigh* he went out to get a snack for me.

E: hmm...he went to get a snack...he went to a food store? Did he go to McDonalds?

G: no

E: Did he go to Sonic?

G: no Eli...he went to get dessert.

E: oh...he's getting ice cream? Did he go to Braums?

G: *laughing* YES!

E: Oh...can I share with you?

G: *dying laughing* Okay

E: can I have the cherry?

G: we'll see

E: I like cherries.

Lily was oblivious until the sundae arrived and was almost gone. Yes Elias is very smart....tho really "cunning" seems more apt.

timsdat

Posted : 4/14/2008 8:01:46 PM

rwbeagles
Braum's has this KILLER SUNDAE. Pound cake and ice cream and caramel...I sent DH out to fetch one...lol

ut oh. Sounds like a craving to me. You per chance didn't want pickles with it also???

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/14/2008 8:25:39 PM

LOL Steve...HECK NO! My eggs have dust on them my friend and that's the way I plan to keep it lol.

mrstjohnson

Posted : 4/15/2008 8:56:07 AM

rwbeagles
instead of asking for more water he said "My water is empty...the fridge has more in it" LOL!

Gina - I have said this before, you are in for trouble with that one...he is waay too smart for his own good it was only the first day.

So how did they do yesterday? Did they run out of questions?

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/15/2008 9:02:34 AM

Elias was out at about 4pm which was really good for him.

Lily saved one til today so she's at 7 total. I might bump her back more because she's just not here enough during the week to need that many.

Eli did actually get it I think....he went up and was going to ask his Dad for something last night, then he stopped and thought and just grabbed my dh's arm to pull him down onto the floor to wrestle instead of asking LOL.

He gets the idea...but he is TOO SMART...lol