Question for parents...adult content (by keedokes)

Let me ask you this....did you scold her for playing with her toes?  Just another body part, and one that feels even better to play with than the toes did.  My only restriction was not doing "that" in front of other people and only because it might make them uncomfortable.  It's kind of like with dogs....ignore what you don't like and it'll go away.

I did not scold her, I didn't really do anything.  I knew what was going on...when I asked her she gave me an 'avoiding the question' head-toss.  So, I dropped it.  I know it's natural...just definitely an issue I didn't think I'd be dealing with right now. 

keedokes

Do I just leave it?

Yes. I'm not a parent but my nephew was raised without any shame in this department at all and he grew up to be one of the most responsible, well-balanced and mature people I have ever known. Your husband is right. If I had kids, I wouldn't pile the baggage on them that my parents piled on me because of THEIR hangups.  

At 3, I don't know quite how much she'd understand if you talked to her.  When my son was 5 or 6, he started asking about where babies came from.  I went to the library and found a couple of age-appropriate books.  When he was just a tad younger, if he asked what the parts were called, I did tell him the "real" names.

Your daughter will take your cues from you.  If you are uncomfortable, she'll pick up on that.  Maybe just ignore the behavior unless you have cause for real concern, like she's hurting herself.  And find a book or two to look at when she asks.

My mom saw me look at her naked boobs once when I was about 7 or 8 and immediately scolded me.  We didn't talk about that stuff.

Honestly, I'd just completely ignore, unless she starts doing it in inappropriate locations or in front of folks who are gonna be shocked.

 I think there is a fine line between modesty and shame.  You have to find the area that will a) let her satisfy her curiosity and b) let her know that some things are private.  It can be a really tough call, especially when you yourself were brought up with the more conservative approach. 

We didn't talk about stuff like that when I was a kid.  I literally learned everything I know about sex and that stuff from school and friends.  Heck my mom didn't even tell me about periods.  I'm so glad I learned about it before it happened, or I would have been like Carrie in the Stephen King novel!  Now I know thats years away for you yet, its just an example.  My sister was very open with her kids from day one.  And they are to this day the most well adjusted set of kids I know.   That doesn't mean you have to confront her everymove, just try not to blanch every time she gets curious.

As a general rule I am very open with her.  She knows about all of the parts...she yelled about her Papa's part from the top of the playground slide, once, and she asks if the people she knows have one part or another.  She watches me feed her younger brother, we walk around naked in front of her (although Papa is starting to get self-conscious about doing that in front of her lately).  I am ok with premarital s word if it's done responsibly and in a long-term relationship, but for some reason I'm really, really...ick?  (I can't think of the right word) about this.  I know it's me.  I think it has something to do with cleanliness.  I just don't know.

Ack!
 

Ok your last question seguays me into what I was going to ask.  Sometimes little girls can run quite a little yeast infection (I can remember having them as a very small girl).  IT ITCHES.  I was just a wee little girl and I can remember Mom having the doctor (a man) examine me and he told her "that white stuff is yeast" and told Mom cleaning it/removing it would help. 

Back then my Mother knew zero about probiotics and such -- but I would make sure what you are seeing is really the result of seeking a pleasant feeling (in which case ignore it) OR is she actually mildly uncomfortable or itchy.  She might not even be able to verbalize it.  Probably can't.

FourIsCompany

keedokes

Do I just leave it?

 

Yes. I'm not a parent but my nephew was raised without any shame in this department at all and he grew up to be one of the most responsible, well-balanced and mature people I have ever known. Your husband is right. If I had kids, I wouldn't pile the baggage on them that my parents piled on me because of THEIR hangups.  

Right on! 

How to word this, mods let me know if I need to change anything. And for what's it's worth I have no children, but I did help raise my niece. I would ask subtle questions, but on the whole, let her be.

I am gonna guess that she graduated into big girl pants, and good for her, but that comes with some new things, she is learning personal hygiene with your help, and it comes with ups and downs.

I remember that little girls (and little boys) hold it until the last nano second. Little boys get it easy, girls don't. Is she the independent type that has to do it herself? Is she using toilet paper? If your not helping her all the time think...........

dry/wet/irritated

Which leads to being even more aware. So, she is going to investigate. Try not to let it bother you, this too shall pass.

Truley

Little boys get it easy, girls don't

Just a general rule - other way round I think  

Will spends a LOT of time with his nappy off.  He's ten months old.  He's found it.  I don't chastise him, but I do distract him if it's "not a good time". 

I do apologise, but I can't remember how old she is?  I have a "theory" about toddlers.  They look A LOT like miniature grown ups and therefore our expectations of them sky rocket, which they can't handle.  Hence the so-called "terrible tantrums" etc.  Just a theory mind you.  It will be put to the test in a year or two and I may well be back with my tail between my legs admitting I was wrong!

She is A LOT closer to Will in age and stage of development than she is to you.  You wouldn't (hopefully) chastise a 10 month old for this new discovery, you would just make sure they were clean and distract them if it was inappropriate - right?  Does that help you with your question?