Feeling kind of sad...(huskymom)

Not to worry. My children were 3 years apart. I went through the same thing. I worried for about 7 months with my second. As soon as the new baby was born everything just went in to place. Hard to know that when you have a baby and love them to death and then you are have another one that the love that you feel for the first born does not diminish but the love that you feel for the second baby is the same as the first. And you have time for both. This pertains to as many children that you have no matter their age. My daughter has two girls. One born May 20, 2004 the second May 22, 2006. She said this never went through her mind as I told her about her and her brother and wondering so she knew everything would be all right. Everything turned out great. Hailee helps Mom (my daughter) out a lot with Neveah as my son did with my daughter.

It will be fine trust me. 

huskymom

 How will I be able to make sure Kali still gets the attention she needs and deserves?  What if I can't make her laugh anymore?

One of the things you can ALWAYS count on is your kids will laugh at you ...   I had two daughters ( a million years ago) they were only 17 months apart. I adored both, and cherished the differences despite dressing them like twins half the time. One was my pink baby the other my blue baby. They were drawn to the opposites and we all loved that about them. DH had 3 daughters and together we raisied the 5 girls, all different all loved deeply. I worried about loving my step children but it was a no brainer. Now I am raising 5 of our 10 grandkids, They are so very different, the oldest is a sensitive bi racial boy with an artistic flair, the next a red headded boy who is ALL boy an atheletic sweetheart, then I have Caity with long  straight dirty blonde hair and deep brown eyes, she is a very girly and tends to get lost in her thoughts, our next gift was Ceattle, a curly headed blonde with blue, blue eyes and a giggle that is contaigious, last and born on my mother's birthday is Boo boo she has gypsy curls in her dark black hair and my mother's defiant attitude, shemay be the baby but she takes nothing off of anyone. I feared I could not love each as I felt so overwhelmingly full of love for them as they arrived. How on earth could my heart hold more? Yet it does, it grows and wraps it's self around them feeling blessed, overwhelmed , tired and luckier than anyone else in the world.

The babies are close in age, from 2years to 8 , the 3 girls developed twin speak , thier own language making it impossible to understand them and in need of speech therapy. They and the boys communicate easily, it is the adults who need interpreters!! Yet all of us are learning, all of us invest in each other. Bob broke speed limits to get home in time to watch Bobby's first baseball practice. I bought Caity a pink glove to use when she plays this year. Tris is waiting for soccer, Ceattle loves to watch and longs for the day she too can play. Boo just loves to get out and watch every one, Boo can be painfully shy but no one will ever mess with her.

Right now you are indeed hormonal. You are tired and your feet may be swollen. Cuddling your youngest is more difficult because the belly is starting to get in the way. But I promise IF you celebrate the differences in your babies and you look for the moments they are independant you'll adore each for themselves. If you try to make them cookie cutter clones life is full of disapointment.

It is obvious you are a wonderful mommy and your kids will always be cherished. There will be times when you feel a bit closer to one or another one needs you more and that is fine. You will cope, good moms figure it all out  . Your kids are lucky. You are worried because you care so deeply and that is important.

Bonita of Bwana

First of all **BIG HUG** I know exactly how you feel. I look at my son and try to imagine how I could love any other child like I love him. Everyone tells me that you love your second the same as your first. I believe them, but its so hard to imagine.

As for making sure you can still do those other things with your kids. I have been doing a ton of reading lately on how to make sure no one gets left out. Everything says to include your older children when it comes to the baby. Like getting them to grab a diaper or baby wipes or maybe even just the baby's blanket. Anything to make the older children feel special and included.

I have read all this, I'm still having a tough time getting it though. You will be okay, you are a great mom.  

Here's a couple links you might find helpful for getting your youngest to adjust:

http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/pregnancy/introducingchildandnewbaby.asp 

http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/fscan/00000271.htm 

Yes, you will love a second as much, but I don't think you will love all kids the same.  Cuz thats not what they need and we adapt to fit their needs.

Time for the kids seemed to expand for me.  The dishes didn't always get done, but I always had time for both my sons.  You will too.

no experience and no advice just big hugs!

I'm sure you will work it out and I bet that Kali just loves her new baby sis/bro and will want to help  

She sounds like such a sweetie - wish I could meet her (& you of course) 

 This is a very common concern for mothers. I know I had the same feelings when I became pregnant with my 2nd. The love mothers feel for their babies seems so special and unique that it is hard to imagine that it can be replicated. Fact of the matter is - it can and is! Just remember there is not limit to the amount of love mothers are capable of giving. It is infinite. The more you need the more you have.  So don't spend another minute worrying about how you are going to share the love you have between your children. Think about how wonderful it is going to be to have even more love in your heart with the new arrival. It's a miracle I say! A miracle!

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtful insight.  I feel better now.  I still feel a little bit sad that Kali has to share me so early in her life.  Kale had me to himself for almost 8 years.  But I know in my head that things will work out once the baby gets here.

I do not deal well with hormones... 

I had three children.  There was 4 years difference between the first and the second.  There was 18 mos. between the second and the third.  I loved all of my children equally, but differently.  They each have different personalities and each are their own person.  I would take nothing for any one of them.  As for the first or second having less time from you, yes to an extent that is true; but each one will get so much from their relationship with the new baby--they will have a closeness and a friendship like no other.  You will also have a stronger relationship in your little group of wonderful babies and children with all of the fun things that you do and the life that you share as a group.  There will be such joy in sharing the little baby with your little Kali.  The joy you will also have in watching Kali making the new baby laugh--priceless.  I hope you have a lifetime of love and fun and so many wonderful memories.  You will see that it is all worth it!!!

My sister had the same feelings/worries when pregnant with her second child, and my mom told her "Your love is not divided, it's multiplied."  So I have to believe her, because my sister went on to have 3 kids total, just like my mom. :)  And they are both fantastic mothers.