My life is a big ball of crap right now *vent*

    • Gold Top Dog

    My life is a big ball of crap right now *vent*

     Ugh. Never have roommates, it's a bad idea. I'll summerize.

    Last July I was working at a fast food restuarant. I became pretty good friends with a girl(who's 22) that worked there..was friends with her throughout her whole pregnancy and knew that the babies father had a tendency to become aggressive with her. Well, they ended up moving in together and baby made three and life was good for a few months and then he started hitting her. So she moved back in with her mom. Her mom is a nasty slob and it wasn't healthy for her or her little boy to live there. Let me also mention that at this time the father of her child is with another woman who he has gotten pregnant also.(she later miscarries) SO and I had a house but we wanted to move a little closer to our jobs and we suggested she room with us in an apartment. (I wasn't pregnant at this time-or rather, I was unaware.) So we move in together. Life is good. Life stays good for 4 months. Well, her little boy's dad starts coming around again, and eventually sleep overs turn into him moving in. *sigh* I should have known then that s**t was going to hit the fan.

    Then it starts becoming a hassle to get rent money from them. We have to pay rent with a check and I'm the only one with a checking account so I have to get rent the day before it's due and deposit it so it will be there when the check is cashed. At my apartment complex rent is due on the 1st and it's late on the 2nd. So, rent is a time sensitive issue. The month of December I had to drive to his work to get rent from him because he hadn't given it to me yet, and then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't have it all, he promises he'll pay me back if I can just cover it. *smacks forehead again* He did pay me back but the principle of the matter is what bothered me. The due date for rent has always been the same, you should budget yourself around that.

     
    So, fast forward to the end of January, I have the baby! Of course I take off work. So I'm home all day, yay! Let me mention here also that I never leave my room. I'm a pretty private person and I just don't have a need for a lot of space, so my roommates had the rest of the apartment to themselves, with the exception of the bathroom. I didn't even cook when they were here. Although all of the dishes and cookware are mine that they so pleasantly ruined with their "cooking" So..roommates have apartment to themselves. I am even courteous enough to not let my baby so much as make a sound at night because I don't want him waking them up. So I'm co-sleeping right now instead of letting him cry in his crib to fall asleep.

    So I've been off work for two weeks. I JUST went back to work Monday, and I'm not able to pump enough to work more than just a few hours at a time. As much as I hate it Nolan is going to have to go on formula at night so I can work more and I hope he'll still want to breastfeed during the day. Anyway. So my SO and my original roommate work together. When he gets to work yesterday she tells him that they will be moving out, THAT DAY. He said she seemed embarassed about it and I hope she feels like crap. She said that her SO put down a deposit somewhere else without telling her so now they have to move. I think she is full of it. You don't just go put down a deposit somewhere else without telling your SO. Especially not when you are under lease at your current place. Both her and my name was on the lease but she went to the apartment manager and had them take her name off, is that even legal? How is it that she is able to break lease? Because I'm still living here? I will be madder than hell if that affects getting my deposit back when I move out.

    But anyway, so if you've made it all the way down here, essentially my roommates knew that they were going to move out, but instead of giving us any kind of warning, they wait until I miss a paycheck and then go back to work VERY part time to tell us. My SO says good riddance but I feel like crying about it. I feel like she slapped me in the face. I was trying to help her out when she was in a bad situation initially. I even watched her little boy for her when she couldn't find a babysitter. So, now I have an empty apartment, with the exception of my room. No furniture to sit on, lol..and both me and SO have to pick up more hours at work to cover the rent b/c it just doubled with them being gone, so there goes the few hours a day we got to see each other inbetween our shifts. (He works days and I work nights.) I'm p*ssed! (and hurt)

    Kudos if you made it through this.
     

     

     

    • Gold Top Dog

    Wow!  What a crappy situation.  That really sucks.  

    I've lost 2 very good friends by letting them move in with me and trying to help them out.  One decided she was helping me out with bills even though I had moved into my parents house when my mom had her surgery so I could keep the house heated and whatnot during the winter.  I had no bills there but my phone bill and food.  And apparently the strain in our relationship was because I didn't thank her for picking Kale up from daycare for me while I was working one day. (She had to pick up her daughter too.) Even though the weekend before that I had watched her daughter the whole evening and night and the next day when she stumbled in the door at 7 in the morning to sleep the rest of the day away.  Our kids were like 3 at the time.  Who does that?   (oops, didn't mean to go off on my own vent there)

    I'm sorry this happened to you, especially right now.  Terrible timing. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    UndefinedMelody

    You don't just go put down a deposit somewhere else without telling your SO. Especially not when you are under lease at your current place. Both her and my name was on the lease but she went to the apartment manager and had them take her name off, is that even legal? How is it that she is able to break lease? Because I'm still living here? I will be madder than hell if that affects getting my deposit back when I move out.

     

    I'm really sorry this happened.  I can't imagine dealing with this AND a new baby.

    This has happened to me before.  Lease agreements, at least all of the ones I've been part of, are generally "joint and several", meaning that everyone shares the responsibility of the lease agreement and the full amount of the rent payment, but when one person "severs", the responsibility is divided amongst the rest.  Unfortunately that means it's possible for 4 people to sign a lease and 3 to bail, leaving only 1 to pay.  After this same type of thing happened to me, we started making our own sub-lease agreements that were much more specific.  As long as someone is left to pay the full amount, this should not jeopardize getting your deposit back, but it means whoever is left is now fully responsible for the entire rent payment.  Unless there is a separate agreement binding the girl to her share of the rent, she can't be held accountable for it even if she's on the original lease. 

    If the lease agreement is in fact "joint and several", that means that your landlord can come after only those left for the full amount but that you could go after the girl that left for that share.  The landlord has no obligation to hold the person leaving accountable for any amount of rent, only those that are left.  You could try to hold her accountable, but that would depend on your agreements with each other.  In the end, the landlord can claim the full amount from anyone on the lease. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'm so sorry you're having to deal with rotten roommates.  It sounds to me like she's being pushed around (her boyfriend probably didn't tell her he was getting the place so she wouldn't have a chance to say no) and you're paying the price for it.  Literally.  I don't really have any advice for you other than to talk with the leasing office and ask them how she was able to get her name off the lease without breaking it.  Best that I can recall, all leases I've ever had only stated that each person is responsible for rent so if the other moves out, the one left has to pay up.  But you know that already.  After living with one roommate on two seperate occasions, I've vowed not to have one again even if it meant helping someone out.  Just too many chances for things to get screwed up, whether it's money or a friendship.  Besides, I like living by myself. Smile  Take care of that precious baby boy and I hope things look up soon.

    • Gold Top Dog

    If I am reading this right, the girl who you worked and were friends with now works with your SO, right?  She and baby lived with you two, then her b/f moved in, making it 4 adults and 2 wee ones.  Yes?

    Was her name or his ever added to your lease?  If not, I'd say you are responsible for rent regardless.  If they were on your lease jointly, you're stuck.

    I live in a college town and this happens all the time.  When my son moved in with a few roommates, I made him request a separate lease, so if one of the others moved out, he didn't get stuck making up the other portion of the rent.  I reviewed all of it before he signed it, not because I'm any sort of legal wizard, but I've been around enough to know better.  When he wanted to move before the lease was up, he and the person who took his place went to the leasing office, signed a form, and the new tenant paid the deposit back to my son.  They got paperwork signed by both and witnessed at the leasing office stating he was no longer responsible for any rent or damage from X point forward.  I don't know if that is possible in your area, but something to consider in the future.

     

    • Gold Top Dog
    Me SO and this girl all worked together, but SO and I have always worked opposite shifts so I worked with her and he didn't. I found a job making $4 more an hour as a bill collector so I left but kept in touch with her. Her and SO at this point were still working opposite shifts. Well I knew that she was having a hard time so I suggested we rent together and she was excited about the idea and me SO and her split the deposit/application fee/electricity deposit..etc 3 ways. At the time I didn't know I was pregnant.When I got my new job I switched over to working nights, the same as SO. Now that the baby is here he has switched to days, so we wouldn't have to try to find someone to watch the baby at night, so now him and the girl work together.

    SO's name has never been on the lease, just she and I signed the lease. And the electricity is only in my name, thank god..b/c if it was in her's they would have turned it off when she moved out and I'd have to pay another $200 deposit to get it turned back on.
    When I found out I was pregnant I knew it would get a little cramped here so we thought about breaking lease but didn't because I didn't want her to have to move back in with her mother. So we talked about it, and our lease is up in Aug. SO also leaves for the Guard in August, and we all agreed that we wouldn't sign a lease again, that we would go our separate ways in Aug. SO and I would just tough out being cramped for the six months that we'd have the baby here.

    It was never discussed with us about her boyfriend moving in. He just did. His name was never put on the lease, either. I know I'm responsible for the rent I just didn't think she could just have her name removed from the lease. I'm not even that upset about her actually moving out, SO and I have the space we need now, although we are going to pay for it with our free time. I am just upset because she gave literally NO notice. I feel like I tried to help her in a tough situation and in return she turns around and CREATES a tough situation for me, when I've never been anything but a good friend to her.
    • Gold Top Dog

    Did you ask the leasing office about her being able to remove her name w/out notice to you?  Is there any clause in your lease at all that addresses this type of situation?  If there is, I wonder if you'd be able to take her to small claims court.  You may never get the money if ruled in your favor, but it would affect her credit for a long time to have a judgement against her that she never paid.

    At the very least, you've certainly learned a lot from this experience. 

    • Gold Top Dog
    The reason I'm curious about her removing her name from the lease is I'm not legally old enough to lease this apartment by myself without a co-sign. I could get that if I needed to, my parent's would co-sign for me in a heartbeat..but I wonder how they just took her name off, legally. Won't they be "audited" or whatever the word is, for leasing an apartment to someone underage?
    • Gold Top Dog

    Well, that certainly puts a different spin on it.  I don't know who you'd contact to ask about that, except perhaps an attorney who is familiar w/ the leasing laws in your state.  Seems like that would be trouble for the owner of your complex.  Maybe your ex-roomie was helped by a secretary who didn't check the details?  In that case, I'd think you'd have some wiggle room.  Maybe the secretary has a supervisor you can speak to?  Or get the owner's number and call that person directly. 

    • Gold Top Dog
    Its just 2 people that manage the complex and she knew one of them personally but it doesnt make sense to me because when we moved in they were diligent about making sure they had all our info, and wanted 6 check stubs from each of us and told us that they had to have that or they would get in trouble, and if our income changed we had to tell them, because they claim to offer lower rent to low income people but they don't.(My rent would have just gone down, and would have been lower when we moved in) But I do know they get some kind of tax break or something(they tried to explain it to me when we moved in) for saying they do that so that's why they wanted all our information. So it seems like if it was so important for them to have that it would be equally as important for them to legally lease this apartment. lol.
    • Gold Top Dog

    I don't know how apartment leasing works but I just wanted to say that I am sorry that this happened to you.  It really sucks that she just up and left like she did.  Keep your head up and give Nolan a kiss for me! 

    • Gold Top Dog

    Well, that makes it even crazier - they offer subsidized housing to those who qualify, but your rent was not affected?  It almost sounds as if they might be pocketing money twice on this by overcharging you and collecting the subsidy from the state.  An audit would definitely bring that to light.  Unless I misunderstood what you are saying.  Perhaps your state has a website with a section that answers leasing questions and info about how to contact someone who can address all of it.  Again, I'd re-read your lease right down to the last detail to start and then ask questions.

    I'm sorry you're stuck dealing with this.  As if being a working parent isn't stressful enough.

    • Gold Top Dog
    That's what they told us when we moved in but I think I know how they are getting away with it. In the apartment guide book that you get free at those little handout things at gas stations rent was advertised as $590. I pay $575 BUT when I called and asked them how much rent would be (before I even applied-they knew NOTHING about me) they told me $575. So maybe by advertising the rent as higher than that in the book and then charging a little bit less than that they are getting away with saying they cater to low income people? I'm not sure how they do it but the way it sounded when she explained to me why she needed all my income information was because of them offering lower rent. I actually don't have a copy of the lease(the roommate snagged that when she left) but I am going to call and have them make me one and I'll go over it and see what's up.
    • Gold Top Dog

    Wait!  Your roomate took the lease agreement that she isn't even a part of with her to her new place?  On purpose?  What is up with this girl? 

    • Gold Top Dog
    Lol. We only got one copy of the lease and she needed it for whatever reason, (I think it had something to do with when she was trying to get child support before daddy moved in with her) and I never got it back from her..she took it with her when she moved her stuff..but I'm not sure it was intentional.