Where to live?! (Cita ranting wildly)

 just my $0.02.... i wouldnt move into the parent's house without a plan and a time frame for moving out.

 my wife and i lived in an apartment about the size you describe when we first started living together. we had 2 cats at the time, no dogs. the smallness got to me (and i think her too) after a while.
 

The fact that Rascal doesn't do well on non-carpeted floors potty-wise could be a show-stopper in a BIG way.  That would be an enormous annoyance, not to mention with prospective in-laws who have their own dog (marking anyone?).  That's a disaster waiting to happen.

 However, the fact that your boyfriend has you between a rock and a hard place is NOT good.  It sounds to me like he's trying to manipulate you into moving in with his folks -- cheaper, and for HIM much easier. 

THAT -- the potential manipulation and the set up for this to all go 'south' really badly when Rascal begins inappropriate marking/accidents, etc. -- the whole deal would scare me badly.  It's not a good beginning and "just a year" can be something that will determine forever and end badly. 

This is one of those life-changing decisions -- so be cautious.  The fact that he won't compromise on something that is pretty logical ... that part right there scares me. 

 You know he cares a lot (hence the other 'romantic' thread) -- but he's also got a boat load of insecurities and I'm sure moving in with the folks sounds EASY to him.  But it's not a good start .. particularly with him not being cooperative.

 Fortunately the potty training issue at his folks' place isn't a big deal - he lived with them for several months and they're pretty easy-going about floor messes. (They say that having Rascal around keeps their floors extra clean, because I'm always mopping after him, lol.) Their current dog is also not fully housebroken to their house. Fortunately for me (not for them, lol) the prospective in-laws have seen the worst of the worst of the worst of my little furry monster (as in, him biting them) and have even worked me with and a trainer to help him with his issues, so that's not a concern at all.

If I really put my foot down I'm sure my BF would compromise, but the sad fact is that despite all that I've looked I haven't found any nice places in the area that *I* would really like to live that are also significantly cheaper than the downtown apartment. So in that respect I can't really blame him, it would be a lose-lose situation in almost all respects. He did humor me and we looked at several places, but all of them were a "no way" as far as housing quality for the price they were asking. (We'd be saving max $200/each a month for cruddy apartments in the suburbs.) Plus BF would have to drive a long way to work. He has said the decision is 100% up to me, and we put a (refundable) deposit down on an apartment to hold it for a month, just in case. He has also said in a year he is totally willing to try to find a job anywhere else, even another state, but he's hoping to wait out the year at least because if he doesn't he loses his sizable signing bonus.

Rascal and I could get our own apartment, but honestly I'd rather live with his folks because then I'd have BF, his parents, their cats, their dog, and BF's grandmother (who lives down the street) to keep me company.

Callie I think you're totally right in that my BF wants the "easy way out"... but just because it's easier doesn't necessarily mean it's worse, after all, it'd be easier for me (and Rascal) too! Still, I wouldn't want to compromise my relationship with the BF or his family over silly living-together squabbles, like being annoyed at the TV up too loud or arguments over groceries or whatever.

Sigh!!!! I think right now I'm leaning towards the apartment... but it's soooo much money!

This is just my opinion, but I would rather live on beans and weiners in my own place than share space with that many people. Even when everyone gets along great, it's a difficult situation and when there's tension in the air and there's no where to really get away, it can be rough. If the situation is just temporary anyway, then I'd go for the apartment and then start planning what your next steps might be.

My $0.02 too, I would not live with them.  It's one thing to spend some time there, but to be your permanent residence is another.  Trust me, at some point in time something is going to bother someone and there is going to be a blow out.  Little things start to get to people after a while.  if $$ is the issue, could you get a cheaper place?

Well, by the time we're all done here offering our 2 cents, you'll have some money to put toward an apartment. 

Actually, my thought is: DON'T move in with his family.  You will have minimal privacy and nothing to stop his family from making your business theirs.  A year of that will seem like an eternity. 

I would not live with my family on either side unless I had my own entrance, a kitchenette, and my own living room/den area.  $400 per person per month still sounds like pretty high rent for a room in a relative's house with no separate apartment, plus doing minor remodels.  I would rather share a house with strangers than with my family, and I do like my family and get along with both sides, but I've had better luck living with friends and random people.  They seem to respect personal space more and keep opinions to themselves.

Just my  opinion but I would not move in with family, and I'm saying this from what I'm currently going through. Me and my lil sister got along very well we were like best friends. I moved in with them to wait for my house to be finished and she turned into the devil, and we fight everyday and I will never speak to her again after this.  Not having your own space will really wear you down, and the fact that almost everything is theirs and not yours does become an issue. In my opinion you should go with the apartment, theres no point in risking your relationship with your potential in laws or your BF.

Liesje

I would rather share a house with strangers than with my family, and I do like my family and get along with both sides, but I've had better luck living with friends and random people.  They seem to respect personal space more and keep opinions to themselves.

Hmm, that is a good point. The $400/month would include rent, food, internet/basic TV, and car payments/gas. His family would be footing the bill for the majority of the remodeling, since they agree it's a bit overdue. Another downside I forgot, though, is that the house isn't air conditioned whereas the apartment would be.

Edit: Liv, yeah, another good point. That's my biggest consideration - I get along with everyone so well now, do I really want to run the risk of messing things up? I like being close with his family, but even if we did get an apartment, we would probably have dinner together several times a week and could take turns dog sitting and such.

Heehee, you all have good points. Looks like the apartment is winning out in popular opinion so far! It *would* be really nice to have our own space... 

Cita, I'm a bit confused about the $400/mo including car payments & gas.  Are they co-signed on your bf's car?  Cuz it seems like a lot of dependence on his family - car, house, food.  I'm just saying... I can now!

Oh no, he isn't paying the car payments to them, that would stink! I just counted it in as a "cost of living" but it's constant wherever we're going to live, lol! (The consideration is that if we get the apartment we might share a car instead of having 2 separate ones, but I'm against that right now for independence reasons, so we'll see.)

Cita

Oh no, he isn't paying the car payments to them, that would stink! I just counted it in as a "cost of living" but it's constant wherever we're going to live, lol! (The consideration is that if we get the apartment we might share a car instead of having 2 separate ones, but I'm against that right now for independence reasons, so we'll see.)

If he can walk to work from the apartment, kill one car.  Seriously.  And I too, would not move in with family unless it was for like 3 months.  I lived with my older sister here when I first moved because I moved in less than a week.  But I moved out in less than 3 months because it's THEIR house and I was just biding time.  We never had any problems but it was "cramped" for the 3 of us.  Then add a dog.... heh.