What would you do if you neighbor's a child molestor

On our database...yes. They are also tagged with "high risk, moderate risk, or low risk"...I'd assume that's based on their original charges...and reoffends/prior absconding and that sort of thing.

Sex offenders are required to go through therapy when they are released. They are not released and just thrown out on the street. They are to report to a probation or parol officer daily. (rules vary from state to state) They aren't allowed to go to parks, or schools, or live by them. They are not allowed to go to the lake, or go on walking trails. And they are not allowed to be in the presence of any minors. Some people don't ever want to be in trouble again, and will abide by these rules to stay out of prison. And then there are scum who do all of the above and go back to prison. So chances are, if a sex offender is still out on the streets, he's obeying the law, and his rules. This is not always the case, but it's another way you can look at things.
 
There are so many things a sex offender can be charged with. And when you look on the sites and read what their offense, or offenses are, it doesn't really go into detail.
 
I do think differently about sex offenders, and I definitely think what they did was horribly wrong. But I wont run around scared of them.
 
I have to admit... I wouldn't act normal towards someone with numerous offenses. One time might be bad judgement, but over and over again?  
 
 

I know of a guy in my area who PUT himself on the offenders list.  He's never been charged with anything (that we know of) and he's never done anything about his impulses (again, that we know of).  But he knows what he is, he knows he is a danger to children and he keeps himself away from them as much as he can.  I can't help but feel very sorry for this person - it's like.... like his sexuality and he cannot escape it.  What he is makes him a freak and a social pariah and he has to live with that all his life.  I also know of a convicted child molester who practically begged not to be let out of jail - he knew he would re-offend, he wanted to be stopped.  He was let out anyway, re-offended and sent back to jail.  I don't think any amount of jail time or counselling could stop a person from being what they are but I think more support should be offered to help stop them re-offending.

My town only lists the level 2 & 3 offenders. Would I shun a child molester, you bet. Would I live in fear, no. I would keep an eye on him to make sure the neighborhood children are safe from that monster.

ORIGINAL: jjsmom06

Some people may not like my reply...but here it goes...

I actually do live in the same complex 4 doors down from a convicted sex offender.  I had no idea he was until one day I was looking at the Megan's law website and up popped his address 4 doors down from me. The only thing I know about his crimes are the following:

    Offense Code
Description 288(a) LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS

  HOW DO I TREAT HIM…  no different than I did BEFORE I knew he was a convicted sex offender. I have passed him and said hello to him and his incredibly well behaved pitbull everyday for almost 6 years. I try very hard to see him as the kind and considerate neighbor that he is, as the responsible pet owner he is and as the former Vietnam Vet who served our country.   I do not excuse his actions in any way, shape or form, but I also will not personally shun him… If I ever suspected that their was anything inappropriate or harmful going on I would report it right away… but as for "shutting the door on him if he wanted to borrow milk… hell no… I would treat him as I would any other neighbor and ask him how much he needed…

 
JJsmom06,
 
It seems our experiences are crossing a lot of late.  Sorry to put you in a bad position or maybe a curious position but I know that sex offenders are not always truthful about providing their address to the authorities.  Are you sure about the name?  My sisters address was used in the registration of a sex offender.  She did not know but the neighbors sure gave her weird looks and gossip spread fast.  When someone approached my BIL they quickly had it changed.
 
I wonder if the story line of 'Desperate Housewives' was accuracte.

Question: When you look at the sex offenders list can you tell what the person was convicted of (sex with a child under 12 vs. streaking)?

Depends on the state.  Here's an example from Michigan:

http://www.mipsor.state.mi.us/PSORSearchDetails.aspx?oid=14925888

Some you can figure out based on the info here, others you'd have to know what 1st-4th degree refer to, and how to read the penal codes.

ORIGINAL: hlb118

Sex offenders  ...   They aren't allowed to go to parks, or schools, or live by them. They are not allowed to go to the lake, or go on walking trails.

This varies from state to state.  Kansas, as far as I know, has no limitation.  We have an offender living probably 200 yards from two different elementary schools and a city park.

eh..  I'm not so worried.  I know there are tons living very close to me (NYC) and I don't worry about them.  The boys have had the following *drilled* into them:
 
If you ever get lost, don't try to find us - go straight to the first MOM you see.  Only go to a MOM, not a cop, not a priest, etc!   A Mom will help you find us.
 
If you ever feel uncomfortable, even a tiny bit - don't worry about looking like a scaredy cat or being rude to an adult.  Make up some excuse, or simply walk away - just get yourself away from the person.  You will NEVER be in trouble for being rude to an adult in this situation. *we saw a special (Dateline, I believe) where they set some kids up to see how they would react in a potential predator situation.  All the boys failed miserably because they were too embarrassed or whatever to look like a chicken in front of the other kids.   They supressed their gut instincts that told them something was not cool about the adult.  We had a long talk with the boys after watching this. 
 
Those are their 2 cardinal rules because we understand implicitly that child molesters are EVERYWHERE, at the church, at the school, in the family.  I cannot control that, so I have to make sure my kids are equipped and empowered. 

That sounds like very good advice...  Thank you for posting it.

*we saw a special (Dateline, I believe) where they set some kids up to see how they would react in a potential predator situation. All the boys failed miserably because they were too embarrassed or whatever to look like a chicken in front of the other kids.

That's good information, but jeebus... that does not seem at all ethical. Try to do a psych study like that and no board in the country would approve you. It's amazing what TV programs can get away with...

ORIGINAL: Cita

*we saw a special (Dateline, I believe) where they set some kids up to see how they would react in a potential predator situation. All the boys failed miserably because they were too embarrassed or whatever to look like a chicken in front of the other kids.

That's good information, but jeebus... that does not seem at all ethical. Try to do a psych study like that and no board in the country would approve you. It's amazing what TV programs can get away with...

umm... maybe I should have elaborated.  I did say a potential predator situation, no?  The kids were not in any danger at all.  They just set up situations in which the kids were vulnerable (IF the person had ACTUALLY been a predator).  They were not traumatized.  I would have volunteered my own kids for it, in fact - I'd LOVE to see how the boys would react in those situations.  It would show me exactly what we have to work on.  The parents were all shocked and/or thankful at how their children handled it.  It was quite an eye opener for most.
 
ET fix spelling error

JJsmom06,

It seems our experiences are crossing a lot of late. Sorry to put you in a bad position or maybe a curious position but I know that sex offenders are not always truthful about providing their address to the authorities. Are you sure about the name?

 
DPU- This is a very good comment... and yes I am sure it is him. I acually did NOT know his name until I saw it on the website... but the picture is absolutley him as are the tattoos it lists him as having are identical. I thought it odd that at the bottom in red it states "this individual may have relocated", but it has his correct address and as far as I know he and his wife have lived in this same home for more than 10 years. Perhaps this is a "standard" comment they have on the California website.    

Wow, I didn't know that a someone who has been convicted of sexual battery lives less than 250 yards from me.. That's scary. And theres a convicted child molester who lives about 500 yards from me. I don't have children, but that's spooky too. It really scares me because my GF is over here all the time. She won't be walking Max out there without me anymore.

Some people may not like my reply...but here it goes...

I actually do live in the same complex 4 doors down from a convicted sex offender. I had no idea he was until one day I was looking at the Megan's law website and up popped his address 4 doors down from me. The only thing I know about his crimes are the following:

Offense Code
Description 288(a) LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS

HOW DO I TREAT HIM… no different than I did BEFORE I knew he was a convicted sex offender. I have passed him and said hello to him and his incredibly well behaved pitbull everyday for almost 6 years. I try very hard to see him as the kind and considerate neighbor that he is, as the responsible pet owner he is and as the former Vietnam Vet who served our country. I do not excuse his actions in any way, shape or form, but I also will not personally shun him… If I ever suspected that their was anything inappropriate or harmful going on I would report it right away… but as for "shutting the door on him if he wanted to borrow milk… hell no… I would treat him as I would any other neighbor and ask him how much he needed…

I completely agree with you. Very well said, in my opinion.

I would like to second the not judging someone.    Someone in my family was convicted of child molestation of some kind and went to jail for it. []  I have no idea if the person is registered on a list anywhere (and I don't want to know) but it was a huge fiasco and IMO not worth going to jail for.  I do think this person has issues and should be in counseling for life, but I don't think they are a "child molester".  I don't think the tendancies are that way.    The scenario does not sound like it warranted jail time, much as an 18 year old having consensual sex with a 16 year old would IMO.

Also, when I was younger, we had an uncle by marriage that I remember my mom telling me once, "Never let yourself be in a room alone with him.  don't sit on his lap."  Pretty scary and that was 20 years ago or so?  I never did, it sunk home in those few words and I avoided that man every time I saw him.